My wife does not want to be buried with me

  • Thread starter Thread starter Popof
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
To the OP:

Ouch. That was harsh. (your wife saying she doesn’t want to be buried with you). I want to be buried with my husband and wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else I’m pretty sure he feels the same. 😉

Maybe you can just tell her that it hurts you that she said that and see why exactly sister is more important than you to be with for your temporal resting place.
 
cmscms said:
My first though was maybe your wife just ins’t comfortable talking about this and thus is not really thinking things through.
Click to expand...
Another interesting theory I had not considered 🙂
40.png
defenderoftruth:
Maybe you can just tell her that it hurts you that she said that and see why exactly sister is more important than you to be with for your temporal resting place.
Click to expand...
She did not mention her sister in particular.
 
Popof said:
Extremely helpful; thank you! It’s either a) or b). No parents are involved.

Because I believe in Eternal Life.
Click to expand...
I’m guessing either (a) or “I’m going to get myself buried 500 miles from you, if you don’t shut up and quit talking about this!” The topic does freak some people out. There are a lot of people who believe in eternal life who get queasy about taking care of physical remains between death and their resurrection. I’m someone, OTOH, who gains comfort from having thought about how I will cope with difficult situations that I think likely to happen to me and making the necessary arrangements.

How did my name get attached to the “why would you talk about this?” quote, I wonder? I’ve been talking to my kids about this essentially since they were old enough to ask questions. (I did not tell them that little kids die until they were old enough to do risk assessment. If you tell small children that something bad is possible, it is very hard for them to comprehend that this bad thing is a remote possibility, and that can worry them a lot.)

Speaking of, it took them some time to realize that the Resurrection on the Last Day is not a recurring event by which the cemeteries are periodically emptied and worn-out bodies are returned to the formerly dead in nicely-working order.
 
cmscms said:
My first though was maybe your wife just ins’t comfortable talking about this and thus is not really thinking things through. I understand wanting to be burried with your spouse, but I also understand that is NOT an easy topic for some to discuss.

CM
Click to expand...
Yes, this! I’ve tried broaching the subject with DH but he refuses to answer my questions. He was in the military for 25 years and for now we live where there is an old military cemetery where former members can be buried. His best friend is buried there and I asked if he wanted to be buried there should the unthinkable happen in the next couple of years before we move back home. “No.”

But he won’t tell me what his wishes are. Does he want to be buried with his parents in the United Church cemetery back home? Does he want us to have a double plot in the Catholic cemetery back home? He won’t answer and he won’t discuss it.
 
Popof said:
I’m sorry; it’s my fault; I was quoting someone else, but did a coding error. You did not say that.
Click to expand...
I figured it was a mistake; I just wasn’t sure how it happened. No worries!
 
Phemie said:
Yes, this! I’ve tried broaching the subject with DH but he refuses to answer my questions. He was in the military for 25 years and for now we live where there is an old military cemetery where former members can be buried. His best friend is buried there and I asked if he wanted to be buried there should the unthinkable happen in the next couple of years before we move back home. “No.”

But he won’t tell me what his wishes are. Does he want to be buried with his parents in the United Church cemetery back home? Does he want us to have a double plot in the Catholic cemetery back home? He won’t answer and he won’t discuss it.
Click to expand...
I guess that means he’s willing to let you do whatever suits you when the time comes. If something is important to you, then ask him if you can make arrangements for that. I’m thinking he will, as long as you allow him to avoid the subject thereafter and discuss it with no one, so that he’ll be sure to avoid any similar discussions with anyone else in his family, as well.

Do let him know where the folder is where you’ve outlined all the funeral plans. If you go first, it will take that weight off of him. I sense that he will need that.
 
My sister who is kind of hippy like said she wishes to be cremated and put into some kind of glass necklace type thing :confused:. I said, “sure sis, no problem”. No way in dickens is that going to happen.
 
Samson01 said:
My sister who is kind of hippy like said she wishes to be cremated and put into some kind of glass necklace type thing :confused:. I said, “sure sis, no problem”. No way in dickens is that going to happen.
Click to expand...
Ash can be incorporated into glass. I’m with you. More to the point, making a person’s remains into a necklace doesn’t fall within the boundaries of appropriate disposition of remains from a Catholic perspective.
 
Does she not want you to have to worry if she goes first and you remarry?

If I die young, I want to be buried at sea. My wife doesn’t have to worry about where to be buried after she remarries and my children would have a good place to go to remember me.
 
EasterJoy said:
Ash can be incorporated into glass. I’m with you. More to the point, making a person’s remains into a necklace doesn’t fall within the boundaries of appropriate disposition of remains from a Catholic perspective.
Click to expand...
That and it is weird…she won’t mind if I change it up a bit should I have to.
 
My wife and child died many years ago…they are buried in California…I now live in another state and have plans to be cremated and my remains scattered in a “green cemetery”…to be honest…I don’t really have any concern what happens to my “castaway” once I vacate this deteriorating piece of mortal flesh…the cares of this world and my “attachment” to it will be over and I will be in the Presence with my wife and child…never occured to me to plan on being buried with their remains…they are not there…and my concern for my body will be finished once I’m gone from this world.
 
For your wife…there is another option…that she can cremate you… and live after…wit your cremation urns…
 
Husband and wife can be converted into a tree…that will be the best part of couple…and you will be one forever…👍👍
Porcelain, glass, and urns at memorials are much better suited for indoor above ground display.
 
While it is common practice for a husband, and his wife or in some cases wives for those who have remarried. It is not practiced by everyone, such as in the case of my maternal grand parents. As my maternal grand father and maternal grand mother are not buried in the same graveyard. And this is due in part to my maternal grand father being of German Nobility. And also as well as that the marriage between him and my maternal grand mother was an arranged marriage, due to his families status as German Nobles. As well as that he and my maternal grand mother, was also Poly-amours and that he was allowed to be buried next to the woman who was his Mistress who he was truly in love with, who died shortly before him. And his family took care of the arrangements for his legal wife, to be buried in a grave yard in town not far from where they lived. Which this was due to the respect of the love between him and his Mistress. Which is also not totally unheard for families, that have an aristocratic linage that extends back to 400 AD.
 
Is there any reason you can’t also be buried at the site she has chosen? Are you tied to the area where you currently live?
For whatever comfort this may give, think of all the veterans who are buried in military cemeteries & the spouse is not. Just because a lifeless body is not with the spouse does not demean the love they had for each other. Personally, I think we make too much of a deal over this. Once our souls have left our bodies, they are empty shells/ God does NOT need them to raise us up in the end of times! And, when He does, He will give us bodies far better that what we left here with.
I am donating my body to the forensic anthropology program at the University of Tennessee, aka The Body Farm where it will be used to train CSI’s, detectives & other law enforcement agencies in solving crimes. If my body can contribute to even 1 solved crime or 1 arrest it will be a great thing! They do NOT bury/cremate the bodies when done. They clean any remaining tissues off the bones, box the bones up & use them for teaching purposes. This is all done with the utmost respect & reverence for the deceased. I have no children & my nieces & nephew have full, busy lives with nearly no time to even text me let alone visit. I’d rather serve a useful purpose for mankind after I die than to lay around in a forgotten/abandoned grave somewhere. Anytime I visit a cemetery & see such a grave I stop, offer a prayer & clean it up if necessary. Cemeteries don’t depress me but forgotten graves do. I won’t let that happen to me! 😃
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top