My wife has lost her love for me

[Jr617]

Rider I was wondering what the final out come is . I read your post and it’s like I wrote it.

 

[Serap]

Please let me clear up one thing, she has not left me, she tells me they (her and her friend) have common problems with spouses (ex spouse for him) and they talk about the problems. She says she feels comfortable talking with him. I trust my wife. It bothers me because she has never done this before. I have to trust in God that this will help our relationship. It is very difficult though.
We talked today. I repeated to her how she and the family are my life and I will never give that up. Like I said, they are the world to me!
She said she is only here because of the kids and she doesn’t know if that can ever change. She is nice to me in front of friends and family and doesn’t seem to get upset unless I ask to talk more about the problems. She once again refused to discuss counseling.
If God hadn’t shown his love for me, I don’t know where I would be right now.
Please don’t think my wife is to blame for these problems!
I take all the blame.
My youngest daughter (6) asked me this morning if we could take a vacation soon “as a family”. It broke my heart.
Please keep us in your prayers!

she’s in an emotional affair. she knows it too and that’s why she is defensive.

sounds like you guys may pull through! she needs to end her emotional affair in order for you guys to really have a chance.

ask her what she likes about her “friend”. she probably likes the attention she’s getting from him. perhaps he compliments her a lot and laughs at her jokes. ask her what it is and ask her to be honest with you.

Find out what is missing in your relationship with her that she feels the need to search for it.

 

[E_7]

Has anybody noticed this is an OLD THREAD?

 

[anrmenchaca47]

Rusty,

Tell her you will NOT give up on your marriage, your children, or her. And then, court her like crazy. Shower her with love, affection, and attention. Set up dates. Keep her so busy that this other friend will fade away.

YEA…just dont do it one day and forget about the next…from what I have experienced…it is an everyday on going effort.Dont give up!!! Dont quit!!!

I feel you buddy!!!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

After 21 years of marriage my wife told me she has lost feelings for me because of the way I have treated her. I am not Catholic but will become one next Easter. My wife has been Catholic all of her life and she is very dedicated to her faith. I’ll try not to go into too many details but I do take the blame for most of what has happened.
The reason for her feelings is due to me being too controlling and manipulative for some time now. I didn’t realize what I was doing! Not until I started learning more about the Catholic faith and virtues. I just pray that I have not ruined my marriage. We have a beautiful family (4 children) and have had problems before but nothing like this. I am dealing with my problem now but my wife has found a new “friend” who is divorced and looking (about 2 weeks ago). He has asked my wife if she has any friends that would be interested in him. Long story short, this has led to phone calls every day and emails. (and occasional meetings) My wife has given me all of this information but not before some of it slipped out. I have told her that I believe this “friendship” is not appropriate but she said she can choose her own friends. This is totally not like her! She has always followed the Catholic faith and finally got me interested in it. (She has tried for a long time but I was not ready, another story) I have spoken to our parish priest about my situation but my wife will not. She won’t even discuss counseling. My heart is broken and I’m not sure what to do next. I will not let her go! I love her and my children too much to give up!
Please help me decide what the next step is…

Yeah, don’t kid yourself. She found this guy and then made up the rest as an excuse for why she’s about to cheat, if not that she has already cheated on you. The order is not what she tells you.

Take a look at this website. The theory is secular but the therapist is very dedicated to keeping marriages together (she’s Jewish). Right at the top you will see the common statement, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Read what she has to say. I like it because she has a good track record even if only one spouse participates.

Hang in there, don’t do what she expects. Don’t cry, don’t beg, don’t plead. Do the opposite. Throw her off-balance.

Remember, no matter what you have done or haven’t done, cheating is WRONG. That’s on her, not you. And that other guy - what a creep.

 

[armyross]

Don’t asssume she’s cheating. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

Better a loving fool than a jealous guardian

Not to be rude but I think that she is cheating. Maybe plan a get away with her just the two of you. Make it a date I think alot of people out there forget to never stop dating each other. You both feel in love for a reason get back to that reason. Stop trying to control her that will only come back to bite you at this point. And if she does leave stay strong with RCIA it will bring you home. Life does go on I have been through it before.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Has anybody noticed this is an OLD THREAD?

It’s a DEAD THREAD!



let it go…

 

[armyross]

It’s a DEAD THREAD!



let it go…

So what your saying is its a dead thread?

 

[newbetx]

So what your saying is its a dead thread?

In the upper left hand corner of each post, there is a date of the posting. Before posting on a thread one needs to be sure the thread is not SO old as to perpetuate something that is no longer relevant.

In this case, the original thread was in '08. A question against it was posted in '12 asking for status. No response was posted. So the poster is no longer looking for our (name removed by moderator)ut. Best to leave this thread alone. As posting on it causes a spark of activity that is basically not going to help the OP and will only confuse the current viewers.

It’s not locked by the moderators just because it is old. It’s something we have to monitor ourselves. Don’t worry. Most of us have done the same thing.