C
Cmel
Guest
Good question Rau. The answer is that I did feel connected and safe to him. He was very loving and caring to me before we were married. We were not sexually active prior to marriage, nor did we live together. Therefore, he showed his love in many other ways. I did not go into our marriage meaning to avoid intercourse. I was ready to finally see what the thrill was! Our wedding night was one of the worst nights of my life. I was very naive. He watched a lot of porn in his earlier years. It wasn’t a good combination. He had it in his mind that all women are wild and can’t hold back. I was very shy and nothing like the “porn woman” he had been expecting. It was terrifying and ended with me in tears and him yelling something like he’s stuck with me and will never get what he wants and how his future happiness is gone. As you can probably guess, it was not a good introduction to marital relations for me. I felt lied to and used. Almost 9 years later now and we are doing better and having the best relations of our marriage. It is still far from perfect. But we are both commited and we do our best to put in the work required to make the marriage work.