My wife is coming Home on Holy Saturday and I have a few questions

[irisheyes66]

She’s being baptized, confirmed, and receiving her first communion. Do I give a “donation” to the Church through the priest as you typically do at weddings and baby baptisms?

Of course, we will give our normal Holy Day envelop am I obligated to give a separate donation for the baptism?

Also, my wife isn’t sure what she should wear and her teachers have offered little assistance (not just in attire but that’s a whole different thread). I’m assuming she should wear white, correct? If so, she wants to know if “off white” is acceptable?

 

[lizaanne]

It’s sad she’s not getting a lot of direction, because every parish is different in how they do their adult baptisms.

When I was baptized I was 35. It was an immersion baptism, I knelt down in water to my waist, and Father poured three pitchers of water over my head. So I wore just some khaki trousers and a blouse and then went to change into a white suit afterward (VERY quickly) then concluded the rest of the sacraments. It was a strange parish, but this is how they did things.

A parish I previously belonged to had the adults dressed in long brown hooded robes for their baptism, then when they came back out, they wore white. It was all very stunning - again, this as an immersion baptism as well.

Last year we were at a parish where they only did a very small pouring over the forehead, so no getting wet all over business.

Every parish is different. She needs to ask some very pointed questions to find out what to expect - even ask them if they can walk the class through everything that will happen to them so they can be prepared.

I think off white would be fine - a nice dress or skirt would be sufficient. I personally would not wear trousers (I only wore them because I was getting drenched and did not want to look naked when wet) .

Please tell her Welcome Home!!! So very happy for you and your family!!

~Liza

 

[irisheyes66]

Thanks for the info! Yes, this is going to be an amazing day for sure.

We don’t do the whole body baptisms at my parish, it will be leaning backward and water on the forehead.

She was told that she would be wearing some type of robe but she didn’t know for how long and what color.

Regarding her “teaching”…

Here is a short list of topics that she had to bring up because they were never covered in class.

*Lent
*Ash Wednesday
*Church stance on homosexuality and abortion
*How to take communion
*Confession
*basic prayers
*The Creeds - The were presented one evening with a scroll that had the Nicene Creed and the Apostles Creed but there was never discussion about either.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Don’t wear white for immersion or a thorough dousing. It tends to become transparent.

 

[Brenda_V]

My guess is since she isn’t getting much direction that as long as she is modest in her clothing choices for the majority of what is happening she will be in the robe.

Off white is an option if indeed your wife wishes to wear something in white. Since there is just the “lean over the Baptismal font and pour in the forehead” I suggest she not wear heals but flats (she will understand this terminology hopefully) in order to maintain her balance while leaning over the font. Now since she will be wearing a robe, dress or skirt would be okay, if she wasn’t wearing a robe I would suggest a nice pants outfit (no worry about revealing anything this way when leaning).

My daughter’s best friend was received into the Church about 5 or 6 years ago now. She is all of 4’10" and the Priest who performed all of these Sacraments for her was all of maybe 4’11" - she was the only one getting Baptized at this specific ceremony and it was interesting to watch the two of them teetering on their tip-toes to be able to be in position for the Baptism - - so, if your wife is short I suggest you look into a sturdy stool for her to be able to stand on .

Brenda V.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

She’s being baptized, confirmed, and receiving her first communion. Do I give a “donation” to the Church through the priest as you typically do at weddings and baby baptisms?

Of course, we will give our normal Holy Day envelop am I obligated to give a separate donation for the baptism?

Also, my wife isn’t sure what she should wear and her teachers have offered little assistance (not just in attire but that’s a whole different thread). I’m assuming she should wear white, correct? If so, she wants to know if “off white” is acceptable?

She should wear white after the Baptism, if they are going to change clothes. Otherwise a darker color is more symbolic and she will be given some form of white garment after the Baptism as part of the Ritual.

Usually a small stipend to the priest is normal. Many RCIA “classes” will get together and do something together for the Team and Priests.

 

[irisheyes66]

She should wear white after the Baptism, if they are going to change clothes. Otherwise a darker color is more symbolic and she will be given some form of white garment after the Baptism as part of the Ritual.

Usually a small stipend to the priest is normal. Many RCIA “classes” will get together and do something together for the Team and Priests.

So Brother Rich, you’re saying that she should not wear white until after the actually baptism?

And what is a small stipend (i.e., how much? ) and how and when do I present it to him?

I doubt the class is going to go in on a group gift.

 

[Phemie]

So Brother Rich, you’re saying that she should not wear white until after the actually baptism?

And what is a small stipend (i.e., how much? ) and how and when do I present it to him?

I doubt the class is going to go in on a group gift.

Since white symbolizes the sacrament received she shouldn’t wear white to BE baptized. I suspect that they will probably be given albs to wear after they are baptized – the alb being a baptismal garment.

Even for infant baptisms we have the parents bring the children dressed in colored clothing. They are presented with their baptismal garments AFTER they are baptized and are taken away to be dressed. We explain that much in the way that you put on your wedding rings after the vows, and not before you leave for the church, so it is with the baptismal garment.

As for the stipend, put whatever you want to give in an envelope and just hand it to the priest.

 

[agapewolf]

irisheyes, you realize you will be receiving a sacrament too? You will now be in a sacramental marriage! Congrats!

 

[kettle]

I have no advice, but I wanted to say “Congratulations!!!” to you both.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

So Brother Rich, you’re saying that she should not wear white until after the actually baptism?

And what is a small stipend (i.e., how much? ) and how and when do I present it to him?

I doubt the class is going to go in on a group gift.

A person being Baptized comes to the waters of Baptism dressed in darker clothes symbolizing their Original sin and Actual sins which will be washed away by the Sacrament of Baptism. In our parish we had them dress “dim” (grey, brown, tan), black is not necessary. They were given white robes directly after their individual Baptisms and then went off and changed clothes after the Baptisms. They then came back dressed in brighter colors and were given white sashes to go over their clothes. Your parish needs to explain what they are going to do. A stipend could be anything from 20-50 bucks and it does not have to be cash. Many time people know what favorite restaurants the priests eat at and will get a gift card for the value of an average meal. I have received as part of the team a couple local book store $20 gift cards. Which was great because I was always looking for new material for use in RCIA, you could use it in the coffee shop also! It is presented usually in a simple Thank You card, usually with no name as to who it’s from.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thanks for the info! Yes, this is going to be an amazing day for sure.

We don’t do the whole body baptisms at my parish, it will be leaning backward and water on the forehead.

She was told that she would be wearing some type of robe but she didn’t know for how long and what color.

Regarding her “teaching”…

Here is a short list of topics that she had to bring up because they were never covered in class.

*Lent
*Ash Wednesday
*Church stance on homosexuality and abortion
*How to take communion
*Confession
*basic prayers
*The Creeds - The were presented one evening with a scroll that had the Nicene Creed and the Apostles Creed but there was never discussion about either.

I would guess that it will be a white robe after Baptism. So darker clothes to the Baptism.

There is a “Presentation of the Creed” which may be today.

 

[irisheyes66]

As for the stipend, put whatever you want to give in an envelope and just hand it to the priest.

It just seems inappropriate to hand an envelope, ala the Soprano’s, the the priest during the Easter Vigil.

 

[Brenda_V]

It just seems inappropriate to hand an envelope, ala the Soprano’s, the the priest during the Easter Vigil.

Even if it seems like something done by “mobsters” it is still appropriate - more accurately you would do it after the Mass, not during. Just like at a Wedding or Baptism - you give the Priest the stipend in an envelope after all is said and done .

Brenda V.

 

[kage_ar]

It just seems inappropriate to hand an envelope, ala the Soprano’s, the the priest during the Easter Vigil.

After the Vigil, there will be gift giving time! The Priest will be blessing the holy items that people recieve as gifts, there will be pictures and maybe a Reception.

That would be the time to give any gifts.