My wife left me, now what?

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Blackrook

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The divorce is final, and now I’m alone.

I can’t get married again if I want to remain in the Church, so I will be alone for the rest of my life.

I’m only 52-years-old, so the rest of my life could be a long, long time.

I’m not going to get an annulment, because I don’t believe I have grounds.

My wife left me, that’s all. There’s no basis to say we were never really married.

We were together since we were teenagers, most of a lifetime.

I thought we would grow old together, I thought one of us would die, and then we’d be together after that in heaven.
 
I’m so sorry for what you are going through! I will keep you in prayer!
 
I’m so sorry. This sounds so painful. I can’t even imagine.
Prayers for you!
 
Mine to. And many others.

For me it was twenty years ago, when I was thirty seven. I got an annulment, but haven’t re-married.

For the moment, just hang in there.

It does get better, but look after yourself.

You are in my prayers.
 
It is my understanding that the maturity of the individuals at the time of marriage is a factor in the decision of granting an annulment. Since you were together since you were both teenagers, your wife may not have understood all the responsibilities and ramifications of the marriage vows. If you haven’t yet asked your priest, you may want to consult with him about the possibility of an annulment.
 
God Bless you brother,

Please know that you are not alone. The Lord is with you and situations like this are always opportunities to grow closer to God. The Lord may be calling you to more intimate relationship with Himself. When we are in our deepest pains we are closest to our Lord, Christ crucified. Allow him to help you carry this cross and allow Him to guide you closer to His heart. You are not alone.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”
Deutoronomy 31:8
 
womanatwell said:
It is my understanding that the maturity of the individuals at the time of marriage is a factor in the decision of granting an annulment. Since you were together since you were both teenagers, your wife may not have understood all the responsibilities and ramifications of the marriage vows. If you haven’t yet asked your priest, you may want to consult with him about the possibility of an annulment.
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Yes. I completely agree with the above. Do not rule out the possibility of an annulment without speaking to a priest.

I have been through a divorce and it is very difficult. Time does heal and that time varies from person to person and life gets easier.

I will pray that God will help ease your pain and that over you are able to move forward.

God Bless,

Mary.
 
Blackrook said:
The divorce is final, and now I’m alone.

I can’t get married again if I want to remain in the Church, so I will be alone for the rest of my life.

I’m only 52-years-old, so the rest of my life could be a long, long time.

I’m not going to get an annulment, because I don’t believe I have grounds.

My wife left me, that’s all. There’s no basis to say we were never really married.

We were together since we were teenagers, most of a lifetime.

I thought we would grow old together, I thought one of us would die, and then we’d be together after that in heaven.
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I’ll pray for you. But never assume that there’s no way you can obtain an annulment.
Speak to your pastor. He’s the only one who can hear your story and offer the proper advice. It can happen if you were both way to young to marry.
peace.
 
I too think you should speak to your pastor about the annulment.
I will pray for you.
God bless you and keep you in this difficult time.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I too think you should speak to your pastor about the annulment.
I will pray for you.
God bless you and keep you in this difficult time.
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Yes

You’ll never know until you try.

Meanwhile may God support you in this difficult time.
 
womanatwell said:
It is my understanding that the maturity of the individuals at the time of marriage is a factor in the decision of granting an annulment. Since you were together since you were both teenagers, your wife may not have understood all the responsibilities and ramifications of the marriage vows. If you haven’t yet asked your priest, you may want to consult with him about the possibility of an annulment.
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Going through the annulment process can be healing and provide a lot of perspective and reflection. Talk with your priest and seek a divorce/grief support group or counseling. Be assured of prayers for you.
 
Blackrook said:
The divorce is final, and now I’m alone.

I can’t get married again if I want to remain in the Church, so I will be alone for the rest of my life.

I’m only 52-years-old, so the rest of my life could be a long, long time.

I’m not going to get an annulment, because I don’t believe I have grounds.

My wife left me, that’s all. There’s no basis to say we were never really married.

We were together since we were teenagers, most of a lifetime.

I thought we would grow old together, I thought one of us would die, and then we’d be together after that in heaven.
Click to expand...
I’m very sorry for your situation. You are in my prayers.

That being said, just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean you have to be alone. You don’t have to have a romantic partner to have good, supportive relationships with people. You are loved. Not just by God, but by your fellow Christians. You are right in that you have a lot of life left. You can find the right people with which to share it.
 
Brassring said:
I’m very sorry for your situation. You are in my prayers.

That being said, just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean you have to be alone. You don’t have to have a romantic partner to have good, supportive relationships with people. You are loved. Not just by God, but by your fellow Christians. You are right in that you have a lot of life left. You can find the right people with which to share it.
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👍 Great advice !
Also, if you just assume and never ask about an annulment, the answer will be no.
If you take the time to ask, your odds right off the bat will have now improved to 50/50.

Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful-
Mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us-
Give your aid to all needing help or healing-
Assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering-
Be with those needing peace-
Console the lonely or brokenhearted-
Comfort the lost or hopeless-
Strengthen the fearful-
Guard the unborn-
Pray for those who are dying or who have died-
Soften those with hardened hearts-
Enlighten those who do not yet see truth-
Help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go-
Show us the way to do the right thing-
Protect those who are in danger, and
Guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
Speak with a Priest, annulment may be possible. Praying for your intentions.
 
I’m so sorry. I hope you have supportive friends and family to help you get through this difficult time. I hope you’re able to grieve the loss of your marriage in a healthy way; take care of yourself, and try to get good food, sleep, and exercise.
 
Brassring said:
I’m very sorry for your situation. You are in my prayers.

That being said, just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean you have to be alone. You don’t have to have a romantic partner to have good, supportive relationships with people. You are loved. Not just by God, but by your fellow Christians. You are right in that you have a lot of life left. You can find the right people with which to share it.
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As someone who’s never been married in the first place, I agree that single does NOT equal alone. IMHO the posters who are focusing on the annulment issue seem to be accepting at face value his assumption that he will be “alone for the rest of my life” if he does not remarry.

Even if he does obtain a decree of nullity, there is no guarantee that at age 52, he will find another woman to marry, anyway. He may or may not, and it may not happen right away. I also don’t think jumping into another relationship is a good idea even if, say, the ex-wife suddenly died leaving the OP totally free to marry again.
 
ToeInTheWater said:
As someone who’s never been married in the first place, I agree that single does NOT equal alone. IMHO the posters who are focusing on the annulment issue seem to be accepting at face value his assumption that he will be “alone for the rest of my life” if he does not remarry.

Even if he does obtain a decree of nullity, there is no guarantee that at age 52, he will find another woman to marry, anyway. He may or may not, and it may not happen right away. I also don’t think jumping into another relationship is a good idea even if, say, the ex-wife suddenly died leaving the OP totally free to marry again.
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I agree with this. The OP states he believes he is in a valid marriage. I’m sure he would know whether his marriage is valid or not.

His wife left the marriage and the divorce was just finalized. He needs to grieve the loss of his marriage as well the loss of what he believed his life was to be. Down the road if he feels differently, then he should speak to a priest. Right now the idea that she is still his wife in the eyes of God and Church may be comforting.

I think telling any person to speak to their priest to petition for an annulment as soon as the divorce is final is poor advice.
 
Horton said:
I agree with this. The OP states he believes he is in a valid marriage. I’m sure he would know whether his marriage is valid or not.

His wife left the marriage and the divorce was just finalized. He needs to grieve the loss of his marriage as well the loss of what he believed his life was to be. Down the road if he feels differently, then he should speak to a priest. Right now the idea that she is still his wife in the eyes of God and Church may be comforting.

I think telling any person to speak to their priest to petition for an annulment as soon as the divorce is final is poor advice.
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I can’t speak for the other posters, but I don’t believe anyone was telling the OP to run right down and talk to a priest about starting the annulment process right now. Of course it would be if, and whenever he wanted or was ready to. What I said, and I believe the other posters were saying was that he shouldn’t just assume that he could never get an annulment or that he could never re-marry. You have the right not to like the advice I gave, but with all due respect, please like it or don’t like it for what I said, not for what you thought I said.
 
Brassring said:
That being said, just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean you have to be alone. You don’t have to have a romantic partner to have good, supportive relationships with people. You are loved. Not just by God, but by your fellow Christians. You are right in that you have a lot of life left. You can find the right people with which to share it.
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That’s my experience. As a male divorcee I’m finding friends within the Church and elsewhere, and enjoying my freedom to persue my own interests. I’d be very resistant to changing my situation.
 
Blackrook said:
The divorce is final, and now I’m alone.

I can’t get married again if I want to remain in the Church, so I will be alone for the rest of my life.

I’m only 52-years-old, so the rest of my life could be a long, long time.

I’m not going to get an annulment, because I don’t believe I have grounds.

My wife left me, that’s all. There’s no basis to say we were never really married.

We were together since we were teenagers, most of a lifetime.

I thought we would grow old together, I thought one of us would die, and then we’d be together after that in heaven.
Click to expand...
I’m very sorry to hear that. You’ll be in my prayers.
 
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