I strongly disagree with this.
There is the concept of identifying what is sinful through one’s own rational intelligent thought and with recourse only to what is accepted as the ‘natural law’. It should not need the Church to tell anyone that killing another human being is sinful.
As for being unaware of the automatic excommunication even while being aware of the mortal sinfulness of the action, then it doesn’t really matter anyway: having carried out that action, the person would be in mortal sin and thereby excluded from the Sacraments until absolution. The only difference is that it takes a Bishop or a suitably delegated priest (albeit most are suitably delegated) to absolve in the case of Abortion, therefore the penitent is best advised to check the policy of the diocese during confession with the priest. Even if they do not specifically ask the question, the priest will know whether he’s permitted to absolve abortion-related sins.
As it is, abortion
does carry latae sententiae excommunication. Foreknowledge of such is not a prerequisite for it to be valid.
Also, those without whose assistance a violation of the rules prescribing latae sententiae excommunication would not have been committed are also excommunicated automatically in the same way - i.e. in the case of abortion, the doctors, those paying for it - and who do so knowingly, the nurses without whom the operation cannot take place, etc.
Canon law link on latae sententiae :
vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P4W.HTM
The long and the short of it is this: If the original poster willingly and knowingly allowed his money to be used to procure an abortion then he is equally culpable and equally excommunicated unless and until he receives absolution from a suitably authorised priest.
If there was no knowledge in advance of the abortion that it was to take place or his wife went explicitly against his wishes (and essentially spent that ‘joint’ money without authorisation) then the original poster is NOT excommunicated.
In any case, I hope and pray that the original poster and his wife come to terms with this, seek counselling if needs be and are able to be absolved where necessary so that they can come back into full communion with the Church.