My work colleague just had a violent mental breakdown - how do I help?

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My work colleague is a really nice genuine guy. He was trying to get into a secure area to see a manager for a project. The lady at the door was very rude to him and witnesses say he pushed her, told her to F-OFF and flung his body to the ground causing him to have a huge hematoma on his head and what looks like a broken finger.

He then broke down crying and asked for me to come and help him (as I"m his colleague friend). I came down and took him to the ER at our local hospital. The poor guy was just breaking down. He told the ER nurse that he’s depressed, anxious and stressed. Today is the anniversary of his father’s death and he’s been under a lot of personal stress.

I returned to the office to find out that he’s suspended and that witnesses saw my colleague push her before he threw himself to the ground. I"m not sure if the push was intentional or not…my gut says it was an accident. He is also suspended with pay. My boss told me and I’m keeping it confidential. ** I will not tell a soul at work.**

We are in a union and we have an Employee Assistance Program. I want to help him to make sure the union gets involved and the EAP program gets involved as I think the victim of the altercation is going to press legal charges.

I feel so terrible for him. I asked my boss to give my colleague my personal phone number, so he can call me.

What are his legal rights in this circumstance? This was a mental health breakdown.
 
Serap said:
My work colleague is a really nice genuine guy. He was trying to get into a secure area to see a manager for a project. The lady at the door was very rude to him and witnesses say he pushed her, told her to F-OFF and flung his body to the ground causing him to have a huge hematoma on his head and what looks like a broken finger.

He then broke down crying and asked for me to come and help him (as I"m his colleague friend). I came down and took him to the ER at our local hospital. The poor guy was just breaking down. He told the ER nurse that he’s depressed, anxious and stressed. Today is the anniversary of his father’s death and he’s been under a lot of personal stress.

I returned to the office to find out that he’s suspended and that witnesses saw my colleague push her before he threw himself to the ground. I"m not sure if the push was intentional or not…my gut says it was an accident. He is also suspended with pay. My boss told me and I’m keeping it confidential. ** I will not tell a soul at work.**

We are in a union and we have an Employee Assistance Program. I want to help him to make sure the union gets involved and the EAP program gets involved as I think the victim of the altercation is going to press legal charges.

I feel so terrible for him. I asked my boss to give my colleague my personal phone number, so he can call me.

What are his legal rights in this circumstance? This was a mental health breakdown.
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I think he needs to talk to a lawyer.
 
I would also suggest a lawyer. My heart goes out to everyone involved. I am always recommending people to EAP, it is a wonderful and underused resource. It works best when utilized BEFORE a situation such as the one with your colleague but it is not too late now to at least get some support in dealing with it. If your colleague wants to take you up on your offer to be an ear, please make sure you also have a support system to deal with those conversations, it can EAP, a therapist or a priest of your choosing.

Hope Everything Works Out
 
The best thing that you can do is to respect his privacy and let HR sort things out. It doesn’t sound that serious from what you described. But then again my work place can be pretty crazy sometimes so I may not have much to compare it with.
 
I’ll add my vote to encouraging your coworker to seek help through the EAP. I used to work for an EAP provider and I think it’s a wonderful resource that too few employees take advantage of.

My previous employer focused primarily on psychological counseling, but they did have contacts for legal support, as well.
 
Thanks guys. I feel a little shaken up myself.

I called the union and spoke to a counsellor and they told me all the steps that my employer and and union will go through before my colleague returns to work. I felt better afterwards bc the union will also have legal counsel for my friend.

The union also advised me to do nothing and let the process happen.

Thanks everyone! Mental health is something I take for granted.
 
I think that I less he asks for your help, you cannot intervene. Your boss said things in confidence, and your co-worker did as well. However, if he does ask you, I too would advise a lawyer and refer him to your union. I would not get involved beyond that except to support him outside of work. You do not want this to affect your job. If you say nothing to others, nothing can be said to you. Besides, people like to talk, and it is not between anyone except your friend and the lady at the door. I think he may want to offer her a personal apology and lay all of his cards out on the table to her about what he is going through.
 
Having been hospitalized myself for two breakdowns and treated for a third recently, your colleague will need counseling to help cope with his breakdown and aid in his recovery. His diagnosis will determine if he will require medication. Only a psychiatrist can make this determination. If he has friends and family, hopefully, they will be supportive. What helped me was joining a support group where others who experienced similar traumatic events could discuss their recovery and something that occurs only in people’s minds, which others cannot understand if they’ve never experienced it, or have suitable training.

My advice: Tell him you’re there for him and to take it a day at a time. Putting an arbitrary date on functional recovery is usually not possible. It could be short or take longer. It varies with each person.

God bless,
Ed
 
Pray, pray, pray that God will guide you to do and say the most supportive and helpful things in this situation. Sometimes just to be there, giving unspoken support will be all that you can do at this stage. God will guide you when and how to speak.
Yes obviously your colleague (friend) needs medical and legal help. He will be terrified and totally vulnerable. You can offer him the love of God, by your care. His family will also need support - a great deal of support, which perhaps you will feel able to initiate for them.
God bless you all. God will be on your side every step of the way and His tender mercy will prevail.
 
Serap said:
My work colleague is a really nice genuine guy. He was trying to get into a secure area to see a manager for a project. The lady at the door was very rude to him and witnesses say he pushed her, told her to F-OFF and flung his body to the ground causing him to have a huge hematoma on his head and what looks like a broken finger.

He then broke down crying and asked for me to come and help him (as I"m his colleague friend). I came down and took him to the ER at our local hospital. The poor guy was just breaking down. He told the ER nurse that he’s depressed, anxious and stressed. Today is the anniversary of his father’s death and he’s been under a lot of personal stress.

I returned to the office to find out that he’s suspended and that witnesses saw my colleague push her before he threw himself to the ground. I"m not sure if the push was intentional or not…my gut says it was an accident. He is also suspended with pay. My boss told me and I’m keeping it confidential. ** I will not tell a soul at work.**

We are in a union and we have an Employee Assistance Program. I want to help him to make sure the union gets involved and the EAP program gets involved as I think the victim of the altercation is going to press legal charges.

I feel so terrible for him. I asked my boss to give my colleague my personal phone number, so he can call me.

What are his legal rights in this circumstance? This was a mental health breakdown.
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Praying for him.
 
I am thankful for your replies.

I did just what you guys mentioned. He came back to the office and my manager escorted him out of the building. I went with them on the pretense that I was getting a coffee.

I gave my phone number to my friend, told him to take it day by day, get help for the stress and to enjoy the summer. I told him that this is a great time to go off work bc the weather is beautiful.

I also told him to contact the union asap to tell them what has happened.

I also bumped into a union rep at the gym and she was already aware of what happened bc the victim contacted her. Turns out that my colleague DID NOT push her… thank GOD!!! There is no assault charge on his hands. That’s a really big deal of course!

I will pray for my colleague.

I’ve already had a couple of my colleagues ask me where “J” is and I have just said maybe he’s on vacation. I will not say anything to anyone.
 
Well that is good news, Serap!

I will say a prayer for your colleague.
 
Serap said:
Thanks! We’ve all been there. I had PPD after my son was born and was unstable for a year. It happens to the best of us.
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I think everyone goes through something like this in their life at one time or another. Some just refuse to admit it. God bless you for caring for your colleague.
 
I’d like to offer my usual alternative take on this.

Here’s the scenario: Mr. X (a man) shoves Ms. Y (a woman) and tells her to “F-Off.” He then collapses; hits his head; and breaks his finger. There are witnesses…

…and Mr. X, because he’s a union member, gets suspended with pay…

…and people post things to the effect of, “we’ve all been through stuff like this;” “we’ve all been there,” “he’s under a lot of stress.”

Cry me a river.

Uh, NO: Some of us on this post have NOT “been there.” I know many people in high-stress positions; positions with very difficult (even physically dangerous) working conditions; and everyone has stress. I put myself in some of those categories. Yet neither nor those I know, fitting this bill, have never shoved a co-worker; struck a woman; cursed out a female co-worker; nor anything like it, and if I did, I’d expect to be sued; and fired; and have that haunt me forever professionally.

And I might very well deserve each and every one of those things.

OK, I can understand that Mr. X is a friend of the poster and OP wants to help. But the stuff about “oh, we’ve all been there?” No, that minimizes Mr. X’s actions. considering all the posts on this entire board about “we all have free will,” “we’re all responsible for our actions,” “[given action] is a mortal sin and you need to get thee to a confessional,” etc., I find it problematic that really, really bad work actions, with witnesses, etc., get dismissed with “we’ve all been there!”
 
PolarGuy said:
I’d like to offer my usual alternative take on this.

Here’s the scenario: Mr. X (a man) shoves Ms. Y (a woman) and tells her to “F-Off.” He then collapses; hits his head; and breaks his finger. There are witnesses…

…and Mr. X, because he’s a union member, gets suspended with pay…

…and people post things to the effect of, “we’ve all been through stuff like this;” “we’ve all been there,” “he’s under a lot of stress.”

Cry me a river.

Uh, NO: Some of us on this post have NOT “been there.” I know many people in high-stress positions; positions with very difficult (even physically dangerous) working conditions; and everyone has stress. I put myself in some of those categories. Yet neither nor those I know, fitting this bill, have never shoved a co-worker; struck a woman; cursed out a female co-worker; nor anything like it, and if I did, I’d expect to be sued; and fired; and have that haunt me forever professionally.

And I might very well deserve each and every one of those things.

OK, I can understand that Mr. X is a friend of the poster and OP wants to help. But the stuff about “oh, we’ve all been there?” No, that minimizes Mr. X’s actions. considering all the posts on this entire board about “we all have free will,” “we’re all responsible for our actions,” “[given action] is a mortal sin and you need to get thee to a confessional,” etc., I find it problematic that really, really bad work actions, with witnesses, etc., get dismissed with “we’ve all been there!”
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Did you even bother reading the OP’s update?
 
Yes, I did read all the posts. If you think somehow anything I wrote is undercut by the fact that Mr. X. did not in fact actually assault Ms. Y…please explain why. Do you think what Mr. X did is not a fireable offense?
 
PolarGuy said:
Yes, I did read all the posts. If you think somehow anything I wrote is undercut by the fact that Mr. X. did not in fact actually assault Ms. Y…please explain why. Do you think what Mr. X did is not a fireable offense?
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I think it’s best to leave something like this to either:
  • A.) Court of law
  • B.) Human Resources
Online boards and online strangers are neither.
 
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