Myspace irritation

[wifenmommy]

I’m a tad older, but I use 2 Myspaces to keep up with family One is to post photos of the kids, etc., in a PRIVATE myspace site. The other is an open site where I post things that I don’t care if the whole world knows.

Anyway- If it was my husband’s friend Pat*, who has been married for 34 years to an evangelical minister, has 5 kids and 8 grandkids, no problem. If it was my husband’s old flame Jade*, who has never learned to behave herself, BIG problem.

*Names were change to protect the guilty and innocent.

I second this!! I have a myspace, but it is full of old childhood (girls!) friends and family ONLY! I would have been majorly ticked if I questioned hubby and that was his response! Nope, he has NO business having ex’s on there and he was very disrespectful of the op too boot!..hee hee~the guilty and the innocent!! Too funny!

 

[Teakafrog]

Teaka I don’t think you are wrong to be miffed at the whole thing. I think (my opinion only) that both of you should deactivate your accounts on there. No good can come of it.:twocents:

And that is what we did. We talked about it tonight, I’m still not sure he really gets it why :doh2: it upsets me, he just kept saying that it shouldn’t bother me because he didn’t do anything wrong. But SHE wanted to. That’s why I was mad. So anyway, we both deleted our accounts. Good riddance.

 

[reganq]

And that is what we did. We talked about it tonight, I’m still not sure he really gets it why :doh2: it upsets me, he just kept saying that it shouldn’t bother me because he didn’t do anything wrong. But SHE wanted to. That’s why I was mad. So anyway, we both deleted our accounts. Good riddance.

:clapping: Good for you both!!!

I have been tempted to open a myspace account to find/catch up with old friends from high school or college. But, like pp’s have said, on these sites you can be two clicks (if that many) away from some REALLY bad stuff. Besides, if they were really good friends, wouldn’t we have tried a little bit better to keep up with each other?

Alas, I am content with my small circle of friends and family where I am. Besides, the Forums are a much more wholesome environment and geared to my very Catholic, very family oriented lifestyle.

 

[dconklin]

MySpace is a kids thing. I have a page because I am the ultra-cool YM. I do venture into the Religion forum on there once in a while. Most of what goes on in that forum is baseless and immature. There are so many better ways for adults to communicate with each other. MySpace is a pretty public forum.

 

[AmberDale]

I wouldn’t read to much into it. I personally don’t think you should get all stressed and worried over a myspace friend.
My husband is still in contact (on myspace) with his Ex. I don’t like it, but I don’t stress about it. He chose me, not her. I’ve been with my DH for 8 year (married 6 of them). They were together for about 3 years, but were split for over a year before I even met him. I get irritated because there are times where some members of his family call me by her name It also could be because his sister has a lifelong friend (all the way from grade school) with the same name and they say I look like her, but STILL! lol… I don’t get it because she’s a Wiccan (husband had fallen away for awhile but never got into that) and married with 2 kids. I’m a Catholic, a convert but was always Christian. shrug Hubby thinks I should give her a chance and I’m all like “um…no… You keep her on myspace but she is not welcome in my home”

Don’t stress to much unless they start sending him messages that are completely inappropriate. Hopefully he’d be smart enough to cut that in the bud.

 

[blessed_wife]

When we were dating, my husband and I both had myspace accounts. Then, we created Facebook accounts and eventually, my husband decided to delete his myspace account because he was constantly plagued by friend requests from, well, basically, sluts. So, I decided to delete mine too since he wasn’t going to be on there and more of my old high school friends and family members are on Facebook. Facebook, in my opinion, is a much more mature site than myspace. Anyway, I can log on to my husband’s Facebook page and he can do the same with mine just as we can read each other’s emails. In fact, before he shipped out for BMT in the Air Force, he asked me to check his emails and update his Facebook page with information like his new address that his siblings and friends could then send him letters to. Basically, NOTHING is kept a secret between us. We both take it very serious that we became one body, one heart, one life the day we entered the Sacrament of Marriage. I know he would never dream of adding his ex-girlfriend as a friend on there because 1) she is an ex. 2) he is now a married man and soon to be papa. 3) he knows I would be upset by it because as one poster said, that is just “natural” and, furthermore, he knows he would be upset with me if I rekindled a friendship, even if only online, with an old flame, so he wouldn’t dream of doing that to me.

I am glad you and your husband agreed to delete your accounts! Wise decision!

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

See, that’s the problem. I know for a fact the one at least is a slut–she cheated on HIM several times while they were dating! And I know from several other people that when she later got married, it was an ‘open’ marriage . So, yeah, I don’t trust the tramp. I wouldn’t trust her, either, and you have every right not only to be upset, but to ask him to stop for the sake of your marriage- without guilt. if you felt it was necessary to delete both accounts, well, Ihope that solved it.

While I think all the “friending” and the like is pretty immature and baseless, I think MySpace offers an easy venue for people to meet people they already know online, a lot more user friendly than having set up a web site with passwords. MySpace can be set to a level of privacy where somebody has to request to be “friended”. It also allows communication without giving out one’s email address. For all the reaons it might be deemed dangerous, used with caution, MySpace solves a lot of those problems,and for free.

 

[shannyk]

While I think all the “friending” and the like is pretty immature and baseless, I think MySpace offers an easy venue for people to meet people they already know online, a lot more user friendly than having set up a web site with passwords. MySpace can be set to a level of privacy where somebody has to request to be “friended”. It also allows communication without giving out one’s email address. For all the reaons it might be deemed dangerous, used with caution, MySpace solves a lot of those problems,and for free.

Tis true. I guess I personally prefer something like facebook (though that is going down the tubes too somewhat) or orkut that is not so wrought with smut, annoying adds, and trojans and adware.

My siblings are always checking their myspace’s when they are over here and I always make sure to run AdAware immediately afterwards because it puts all kids of JUNK on my PC

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I’ve never gotten a virus or trojan from MySpace.

But then, I know how to manually check the registry, have a good firewall, a net nanny, good antivirus and antispy, and I know how to set the security features and content advisor for Internet Exploer AND Safari.

 

[graceandglory]

His reaction is what concerns me. When you asked him why he has them as friends, he didn’t say, “Oh, we catch up now and then and tell funny stories about our kids, work, etc.” He turned it around and made it a character flaw in you that you would be concerned. He deflected attention from his own actions onto your character and then put you down, to boot.
.

That was exactly what I noticed in the OP as well. She asked, “Should I be upset?” What matters is that it DID upset you, it clearly shows an area where there isn’t trust, and your husband didn’t care that it upset you. Because you’re upset, now it’s you who has the problem. That’s not a way to build trust and intimacy. That’s not loving or caring. He shouldn’t be “having fun” with his X girlfriends on myspace, period.

***“Each of you should not only look out for your own interests but also the interests of the other.” ***

I will pray for you guys.

 

[BamaRider]

Originally Posted by Teakafrog
See, that’s the problem. I know for a fact the one at least is a slut–she cheated on HIM several times while they were dating! And I know from several other people that when she later got married, it was an ‘open’ marriage . So, yeah, I don’t trust the **tramp. **
I

Dang, why don’t ya tell us how ya *really *feel about this girl. LOL.

 

[AHapka]

I think there are three pieces of information that are relevant that we are not being given here:

1. How long have you been married?,
2. How long have these exes been on his page?,
3. How often does he use myspace?

If you two have only been married a few months, and he’s had these names on for years, and he rarely logs on, I can’t really see what the big deal is? It could have just been an oversight.

I’m sure some people set up profiles, and then rarely log on. I could also understand if you rarely used it not remembering to delete everything afterwards. I rarely use AIM for example (a couple times a year), and couldn’t tell you every name I have on there right now.

However, if you have been married for years and these names were added on two months ago, then I think you have a right to start asking the hard questions. That’s much more ominous for him to start contacting exes long into a marriage.

 

[Just_wondering]

I’m not familiar with MySpace, but I have a Facebook account. There are several people who have friended me who are not really my friends - just people I used to know who wanted to see what I was doing and so made a friend request. They looked at my info, we exchanged an e-mail or two, and then we never contacted each other again. They still appear as friends on my profile, though. If your husband is “friends” with his exgirlfriends in that kind of way, I wouldn’t say he’s doing anything wrong per se. On the other hand, the exgirlfriends might have bad intentions, so you’ve every right to say you don’t want him contacting them anymore. Since you’ve both deleted your accounts, it’s a moot point, but that’s my take on it.

 

[KCtheMommy]

Teaka, I didn’t read your entire thread (JUST TO BE CLEAR) but I will say I noticed my DH’s ex-girlfriends hit him up on there all the time. My new philosophy is: women never forget. It’s amazing but fascinating how many ladies think my DH is the “one who got away!” NOT!!

I do feel you are valid in your irritation that he blew you off though. My DH certainly hasn’t treated the ‘myspace ex-girlfriend quagmire" as so blase’. I would probably be super irritated if he did. A solution? Cancel out one of the accounts and do a joint one, as a married couple. That way ex’s are less likely to message.

Or just casually say “oh yeah ex-boyfriend from high school wrote me through myspace. He’s a brain surgeon AND he’s single – you don’t mind me adding him do ya? Oh what? You aren’t THAT insecure are you?” Kidding, but you know what I mean. :hug3: