Name Change ??

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Tommy_TT_1

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Is it tradition for a woman to change her name when she gets married
or is it the way of the Church
thanks
TT
sorry if this has been posted many times before tonight is just one of those times to check sanity
 
It is generally a secular, cultural thing, not by any means universal, and women often keep their own names in even predominately Catholic countries (or add their maiden names to the end, like Catalina Gomez marries Enrique Rodriquez. She may become Catalina Rodriquez de Gomez or Catalina Rodriquez y Gomez).
 
The “y” particle is reserved for aristocrats in Spain, don’t know about other Spanish-speaking countries. There are some Catholic countries where no change of name occurs or two are used for the whole family in some legal stuff. Whatever your law allows is fine.
 
Then again, according to my knowledge, the hispanic population has a large number of people (formerly) classified as hidalgos, who while certainly not aristocrats (petty nobility, like the masses we had in Poland, up to 25% of all the people in some provinces), would probably qualify for the “y”. Can it be that it’s those people who keep using it, or is it that people of a similar economic/social status to those (former) hidalgos started emulating them?

Didn’t know about “de” preceding the maiden name of a woman. Hehe, I always thought it was a place derivative or some other nobiliary distinction. I know the Dutch “van” is not like the German “von”, so maybe the Spanish “de” is not like the French one.

Not like I’m a snob. I just like such trivia. 😉
 
chevalier said:
Didn’t know about “de” preceding the maiden name of a woman. Hehe, I always thought it was a place derivative or some other nobiliary distinction. I know the Dutch “van” is not like the German “von”, so maybe the Spanish “de” is not like the French one.

Not like I’m a snob. I just like such trivia. 😉
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Actually, in some South American countries, at least the “de” precedes the husband’s name. So if Maria Gonzales marries Jose Rodriquez, she is still Maria Gonzales for all legal documents but is introduced socially as Maria Gonzales de Rodriguez. It is like “Maria Gonzales who married that guy Rodriquez” 😃 At least that’s the way it works where our family lives.
 
Strange. 😃 But it was the same in ancient Rome, so it must be a carry-over. 😃
 
Tommy_TT_1 said:
Is it tradition for a woman to change her name when she gets married
or is it the way of the Church
thanks
TT
sorry if this has been posted many times before tonight is just one of those times to check sanity
Click to expand...
It depends on what country you are in. The tradition varies quite significantly.

In the United States, yes, traditionally the woman takes the surname of her husband. This is is required neither by civil law nor by Church law.
 
I don’t know about mandatory - but i love my h2b but I cannot stand his surname and there isnt a chance in hell that it will become part of mine!!! We now have two choices keep our own (any potential kids will get a bridged name but go by mine (i am not cruel enough to pass his on!!!) or create a whole new one - this is looking most likely!!!
 
In the Bible, Gen. 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” Not ‘a woman leaves her family and joins the husband’. Why don’t men take their wife’s last name then? That would make more sense. Not that I am saying it should be completely reversed. I personally feel that it should be something each couple discusses and decides, who will take whose name, or whatever. It shouldn’t just be assumed that she will take his. I do think there is value to a husband and wife having the same last name though. Especially when they have children, they should all share a name. Just my two cents.
 
While me and my wife did not do it, why not BOTH parties legally change their names? If both families know each other and are on good terms (the preferable situation) combine the names. If the husband is Mr. Smith and the wife Mrs. Jones, the husband becomes Mr. Smith-Jones, and the wife becomes Mrs. Jones-Smith.

Daughters carry their father’s names, and sons carry their mother’s names…

Or, for even more fun, the married couple “invents” their own family name, perhaps even out of the names of their respective mothers. For example, if the mother of the husband is Elizabeth, and the mother of the bride is Mary, the couple may choose their last names to be “Visitation” or “Blessed”- get it?
 
bunnynessuk said:
I don’t know about mandatory - but i love my h2b but I cannot stand his surname and there isnt a chance in hell that it will become part of mine!!! We now have two choices keep our own (any potential kids will get a bridged name but go by mine (i am not cruel enough to pass his on!!!) or create a whole new one - this is looking most likely!!!
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Does he have any say in the matter?

@Fidelia: But then, there is Ephesians, you know. 😛 If the man’s the head, everyone in the family takes his name-family-designation, along with foster children even. 😛

@Jean-Marie: That was done in past centuries by nobles, especially if the wife’s family was going extinct. Think a heraldic heiress, such as when the wife brought along a title and armorial devices. Such circumstances could also push the husband to combine his wife’s name into his own out of respect (our out of snobbery).

Theoretically, the couple could buy an estate (or a village and let land to people 😛 ) and make a name of it. Dullkeep, Darkmere, Snobhold, Thinford, Dirtymeadow, whatever.
 
In any event, what a couple uses for a last name in most places (at least here in the US) is up to them as a couple. They might use his last name, her last name, hyphenate, or come up with something else. The Church doesn’t say anything one way or the other.

In fact:
  • I noticed on some baptismal certificates the child is listed as the child “George Blank” and his wife “Mary Maidenname”, even if the couple is married and using his surname.
  • In the US, there are several states that are making it easier for a man to change to his new wife’s surname after marriage. Prior to these changes, women could just show up at the DMV with a marriage certificate and get a change to their husband’s name, while men had to go to court and pay for a name change.
 
Does he have any say in the matter?
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To be quite honest no but then again he also wouln’t be cruel enough to insist I took a nam eto which I had such a severe dislike to!!!

I suspect we will end up creating a whole new name by taking my mothers maiden name and his grandmothers maiden name and combining - that creates a far nicer name!!!😃
 
bunnynessuk said:
To be quite honest no but then again he also wouln’t be cruel enough to insist I took a nam eto which I had such a severe dislike to!!!
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Well, but does it at all count what he thinks or how he feels? Is he comfortable with you being the decision maker and just following your decisions?
 
chevalier said:
Well, but does it at all count what he thinks or how he feels? Is he comfortable with you being the decision maker and just following your decisions?
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As far as the name she is going to go by for the rest of her life, yes, it is her decision.
 
Fidelia said:
As far as the name she is going to go by for the rest of her life, yes, it is her decision.
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Yes. But the decision about his name is his, and about the children’s name is joint. 😉 I meant no offence, it just seemed to me the guy didn’t get much to say.
 
No offense was taken - the reason I d ont want his name is because it has sexual connotations and innuendo attached - and I would prefer the kids (if any) didnt have to put up wit that - he was upset at first (male ego and all that) but after discussing it it has been excepted!!!
 
chevalier said:
Yes. But the decision about his name is his, and about the children’s name is joint. 😉 I meant no offence, it just seemed to me the guy didn’t get much to say.
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The children should have the same name as both parents. Personally, I feel that whether the parents share a name or not, children should have the mother’s last name. She gives birth to them. But I feel strongly that a married couple should commence sharing the same last name, just that it should not always be the man’s name by default.
If she doesn’t want to take his name for the reasons she stated, which are legitimate, he should have no problem taking her name.
 
I never would have married a woman who wouldn’t have taken my name.
 
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