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damooster

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I belong to an online Catholic dating website.

It can be pretty exciting. When someone looks at your profile, you get an email saying “so and so has just viewed your profile.” So I’ll get my hopes up, thinking that maybe I’ve found the one, but then BAM, back to reality.

Here’s why:

This Catholic dating site has this little questionnaire that everyone is asked to fill out, and it simply asks whether or not you accept the Church’s teaching on the Eucharist, Contraception, Sanctity of Life, Papal Infallibility, Premarital Sex, Immaculate Conception, and Holy Orders. I’ve found that instead of getting all excited about the person by reading their profile, I jump to the answers they’ve given to this questionnaire and I am always disappointed because I’ve yet to find a woman on that site that accepts all seven of the Church’s teachings on these subjects. Even the “traditional” ones usually have one or two disagreements.

It’s sad! My parents keep asking me when I’m going to get married, and I tell them that I will as soon as I find a God fearing woman. That’s my only preference; I don’t care about looks, money, career…I don’t care about any of that. Just give me a God fearing woman!

But where are they? They aren’t in the singles groups or online Catholic dating sites, that’s for sure.
 
Which Catholic dating site are you on? Some are more traditional than others.
 
Firstly, damooster,

I’m too old for you. Trust me. :o

I once was a single female on one or two of those Catholic dating sites. Similar to your situation, it was hard for me to find a single man who agreed with all the teachings of the Church.

But basically why I left the online dating sites was because I prayed about it one day before the Blessed Sacrament, and the answer seemed to quickly come that it was not my vocation to marry. So I stopped looking for an eligible man.

I’ll pray for you though, that if it’s the Lord’s will, He will provide you with a good Catholic wife who shares your beliefs.

~~ the phoenix
 
I’m having the same problem. Its very easy to love God but its very different to fear God. Ave Maria Singles mandates you follow all the Church’s teachings, but it costs $180.

You dont care about looks? lol

How did you discern against the priesthood?
 
the_phoenix said:
Firstly, damooster,

I’m too old for you. Trust me. :o

I once was a single female on one or two of those Catholic dating sites. Similar to your situation, it was hard for me to find a single man who agreed with all the teachings of the Church.

But basically why I left the online dating sites was because I prayed about it one day before the Blessed Sacrament, and the answer seemed to quickly come that it was not my vocation to marry. So I stopped looking for an eligible man.

I’ll pray for you though, that if it’s the Lord’s will, He will provide you with a good Catholic wife who shares your beliefs.

~~ the phoenix
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I’ve begun to realize that maybe I was not meant to marry.
 
damooster said:
Catholic Match.
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I see. Well, from browsing Ave Maria, the people there seem pretty small “o” orthodox. Some even regularly attend the TLM… but like notredame_999 said, it is kind of pricey.

Have you been on a pilgrimage before? People I know have suggested going on pilgrimages to meet other young singles. Of course, that would be way more pricey than subscribing to a dating site 🙂
 
notredame_999 said:
I’m having the same problem. Its very easy to love God but its very different to fear God. Ave Maria Singles mandates you follow all the Church’s teachings, but it costs $180.

You dont care about looks? lol

How did you discern against the priesthood?
Click to expand...
If I were to meet a woman that truly fears God, looks would not matter at all to me.

As for the priesthood, if I can come up with about $30k to get within the diocesan financial requirements, I would do it in a heartbeat.
 
damooster said:
Catholic Match.
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Is that the one where if you’re on the forums, the amount of posts or time corresponds with the 9 Chiors of Angels? AND, the mods heavily edit the information you are able to post because (I’m gussing), they want to make sure they make money? i.e., if you want to contact somebody, you have to pay for the ability to do anything more than send them a templated smilie because they won’t let you post your e-mail or anything.

There were a few people who were SSPX when I was there. There were also people who had been on there for years and not found anybody.

I didn’t stick around long, maybe, three months…and, I paid for one because I wanted to see if any guy was worth talking to.

It seems to me, though, in a way, people were making an idol out of that site years ago. Don’t know how people are now.
 
damooster said:
If I were to meet a woman that truly fears God, looks would not matter at all to me.

As for the priesthood, if I can come up with about $30k to get within the diocesan financial requirements, I would do it in a heartbeat.
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Okay, so now you’re starting to sound more enthusiastic about the priesthood than about marriage.
Should I change my prayer for you to the intention of the Lord providing you with a way
to enter the seminary? 🙂
 
Maybe God is asking that we find someone who doesn’t agree with Church teaching and it becomes our life mission to bring that person (back) into the Church. When I met my wife, I wasn’t even looking for someone who’s Catholic, but as long as she’s not part of a shortlist of faiths/sects that I made (mainly because they’re hostile against Catholics or would force you to convert to their faith) then I’m fine. Thankfully she’s Catholic, but she’s pretty liberal. But I know eventually I will turn her around. In fact, we’ve made such progress that she at least respects the Church teachings even if she doesn’t accept them fully. Its a start.
 
ConstantineTG said:
Maybe God is asking that we find someone who doesn’t agree with Church teaching and it becomes our life mission to bring that person (back) into the Church. When I met my wife, I wasn’t even looking for someone who’s Catholic, but as long as she’s not part of a shortlist of faiths/sects that I made (mainly because they’re hostile against Catholics or would force you to convert to their faith) then I’m fine. Thankfully she’s Catholic, but she’s pretty liberal. But I know eventually I will turn her around. In fact, we’ve made such progress that she at least respects the Church teachings even if she doesn’t accept them fully. Its a start.
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My guess is that what you describe might work okay for some; but I don’t believe one should count on changing someone else’s mind. It seems to me that to look for someone who is solid with authentic Church teaching is the way to go.

Peace,

Dorothy (a widow)
 
I understand your dismay, OP, but as someone who is on CM myself. (although not paying right now since I will be living on the other side of the country in 2 weeks :extrahappy:) Have you tried filling in your match criteria? You can set it to look for Catholics of the opposite sex based on how far away they are, whether or not and how often they smoke/drink, and you can also set it to look for people who accept those seven teachings of the church. That’s the way I go. I will pray that if marriage is what God calls you for, He provide you the best spouse he can.

:gopray:
 
ConstantineTG said:
Maybe God is asking that we find someone who doesn’t agree with Church teaching and it becomes our life mission to bring that person (back) into the Church. When I met my wife, I wasn’t even looking for someone who’s Catholic, but as long as she’s not part of a shortlist of faiths/sects that I made (mainly because they’re hostile against Catholics or would force you to convert to their faith) then I’m fine. Thankfully she’s Catholic, but she’s pretty liberal. But I know eventually I will turn her around. In fact, we’ve made such progress that she at least respects the Church teachings even if she doesn’t accept them fully. Its a start.
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Very true many protestants have more faith than we do…the only danger is what if their beliefs put not just their soul in danger but ours? Artificial contraception comes to mind.
 
ConstantineTG said:
Maybe God is asking that we find someone who doesn’t agree with Church teaching and it becomes our life mission to bring that person (back) into the Church.
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This is a very bad idea. Marrying a person that you have to change to make her/him the person you really want is likely to lead to a lifetime of regret. The OP has the right approach to this. Look for a person who shares your faith.
 
ConstantineTG said:
Maybe God is asking that we find someone who doesn’t agree with Church teaching and it becomes our life mission to bring that person (back) into the Church. When I met my wife, I wasn’t even looking for someone who’s Catholic, but as long as she’s not part of a shortlist of faiths/sects that I made (mainly because they’re hostile against Catholics or would force you to convert to their faith) then I’m fine. Thankfully she’s Catholic, but she’s pretty liberal. But I know eventually I will turn her around. In fact, we’ve made such progress that she at least respects the Church teachings even if she doesn’t accept them fully. Its a start.
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I did correspond with a woman from that dating site that was on the liberal side because I had this mentality (maybe I can change her). I was wrong: she stopped talking to me because I wouldn’t agree to pre-marital sex and her continued use of contraceptives.

I guess my whole point of this thread was to point out that my experience has been that God fearing women are the exception, not the rule. I think that’s sad. I’m not trying to talk poorly of women, but it’s just my personal experience.

The women that are fearing of God and living according to the Catholic faith are a beacon of hope in an otherwise dreary existence.
 
damooster said:
I did correspond with a woman from that dating site that was on the liberal side because I had this mentality (maybe I can change her). I was wrong: she stopped talking to me because I wouldn’t agree to pre-marital sex and her continued use of contraceptives.
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Why would this chick be on a Catholic Dating site anyway? :ehh:

Doesn’t make sense to me and seems kind of deceptive. You kind of expect people that you meet on a Catholic site to uphold basic Catholic teachings.
 
Ha ha actually I’ve met couple girls from that site and many others on secular dating sites (back then I was more into just having “fun” with them) but now I have been looking for a traditional girl since I came back to the faith. I met some girls from Catholic match and they pretty much agreed with everthing about the Church, but for what ever reason I could not continue dating them, maybe I am shallow? I know I didn’t find them as attractive as some of the girls I’ve dated before. Right now I am have “hanging out” with this beutiful and very nice girl who is very much into me, but one problem, she is not a devout Catholic. So it’s scaring me away because I no longer want to commit sin of the flesh, but she “claims” she respects my bealiefs. What I started doing more is pray and pray to God to see if He wishes me to continue seeing her, and guess what? Everything points out to yes, maybe this is my challenge? Maybe I need to play a part in her life to find God? Only the Lord knows.
Be patient, online dating is complicated and no one tuly wants to admit that they are on these sites. What I recommend is look at profiles and see if you like them, (don’t be too picky) and start conversation, some women like to get to know the person good before meeting, and don’t use the same tacky question guys always ask i.e. so what you work in? what kind of guy you looking for? Be original and just ask open ended questions. Good luck 👍
 
floresco said:
This is a very bad idea. Marrying a person that you have to change to make her/him the person you really want is likely to lead to a lifetime of regret. The OP has the right approach to this. Look for a person who shares your faith.
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Sometimes some people need to experience a Catholic who acutally lives a Catholic life for them to become curiouse and want to know more, some people never realize how truly dead they are until they know the Church. Although I agree that if you see that partner no changing or respeciting your views, then it’s better to break and leave the relationship before marriage, hence the point of dating, to see if you are compatible. Many people “claim” to be something they are not on these dating sites, trust me I know because I’ve met some suppose “conservatives” who I was able to bring down to my immoral lever pretty easy. Sorry to say that, but theres more to a person than what you read on a profile.
 
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