Name the worst movies ever made

[Irish_Kathy]

While you’ll NEVER catch me running around in Trek p.j’s I am a HUGE Trekkie and actually have to say the dudes you talked to were correct. Star Trek did have a LOT of episodes that had heavy social commentary for the time or historical analysis, social conscience, etc. Just a few examples: “The Cloud Minders” was an episode about racism and elitism. The people up in the cloud city above are literate, bright, artistic, love rhetoric, and scholasticism. The people down on the surface do all the heavy lifting, the grunt labor, and are forbidden an education. The cloud-minders keep them that way, stunted and down. “Let that be your last battlefield” was about the absurdities of racism. “A Private Little War” was about the vietnam war, paralleled on another planet where the federation is arming one side of these natives, and the klingons arming the other side. Total parallel. Some episodes are about pacificism and the pitfalls of it. Some are about not learning the lessons of history like in “Patterns of Force.” One episode, “Obsession” is paralleling Kirk to Moby Dick’s capt. Ahab, obsessed with hunting down a beast that terrorized him years back. Many episodes deal with humanity and what it is to be a human, weaknesses, sins, failings, and deficiecies included. I think the show had a lot to offer. You must remember the times in which it was made. The special effects were good for the day as was the set and art. Nowdays it is obviously behind. But the stories, the thinking behind the show, the overall philosophy of it was first rate IMO. That’s why I remain a fan…Live long and prosper!

Gurney Halleck – I concur with your opinion as well. No series is perfect, by any means. Along with the messages each episode trys to convey, there is also alot about Star Trek that non-Trek fans don’t understand. For me, it’s just as much about friendship as anything else. These characters have a deep rooted friendship that DOES stand the test of time. The same is true of Next Gen, Deep Space 9 (a personal favorite of mine), Voyager and even Enterprise.

BTW, one of my absolute favorite Original Series episodes is Journey To Babel which contains alot of great humor between the characters as well. I especially love the relationship between Spock and his parents, Sarek, portrayed by Mark Leonard and Amanda, portrayed by Jane Wyatt. But the episode that I think does the best at making use of Shakespere within the context of a particular episode is The Conscience of the King.

Ok, I’m getting a bit too cerebral. Please forgive me.

 

[Maria65]

Has anyone mentioned Howard the Duck ?

YES!!! Multiple times!

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Gurney Halleck – I concur with your opinion as well. No series is perfect, by any means. Along with the messages each episode trys to convey, there is also alot about Star Trek that non-Trek fans don’t understand. For me, it’s just as much about friendship as anything else. These characters have a deep rooted friendship that DOES stand the test of time. The same is true of Next Gen, Deep Space 9 (a personal favorite of mine), Voyager and even Enterprise.

BTW, one of my absolute favorite Original Series episodes is Journey To Babel which contains alot of great humor between the characters as well. I especially love the relationship between Spock and his parents, Sarek, portrayed by Mark Leonard and Amanda, portrayed by Jane Wyatt. But the episode that I think does the best at making use of Shakespere within the context of a particular episode is The Conscience of the King.

Ok, I’m getting a bit too cerebral. Please forgive me.

Duuuudes.

Some friends and I were just geeking out about fave Trek episodes this weekend. Must be something in the water!

In other news: Over the past couple of weeks I’ve seen trailers from several new movies and TV series. Or old TV series, or current ones. I think one was ‘House.’

ALL of them looked exactly alike, and hideously unwatchable beyond the power of words to describe.

 

[ElizabethPH]

Gurney Halleck – I concur with your opinion as well. No series is perfect, by any means. Along with the messages each episode trys to convey, there is also alot about Star Trek that non-Trek fans don’t understand. For me, it’s just as much about friendship as anything else. These characters have a deep rooted friendship that DOES stand the test of time. The same is true of Next Gen, Deep Space 9 (a personal favorite of mine), Voyager and even Enterprise.

BTW, one of my absolute favorite Original Series episodes is Journey To Babel which contains alot of great humor between the characters as well. I especially love the relationship between Spock and his parents, Sarek, portrayed by Mark Leonard and Amanda, portrayed by Jane Wyatt. But the episode that I think does the best at making use of Shakespere within the context of a particular episode is The Conscience of the King.

Ok, I’m getting a bit too cerebral. Please forgive me.

Deep Space Nine is my fav as well. I haven’t seen any of those episodes on TV in a while. I loved the latest Star Trek movie. While I must agree that some of the ST movies were rather bad…the ST TV series I have enjoyed very much. I don’t really consider myself a ‘trekkie’ I am no expert, but just enjoy it.

 

[Don_Schneider]

Well, I’m just jumping in here late. I suppose one or more have already mentioned *Plan 9 *from Outer Space? That’s always near the top of everyone’s list. “The movie almost starring Bela Lugosi.”

The worst movie I ever saw that was produced by a major production company had to have been *The Conqueror *with John Wayne and Susan Hayward. This bomb is also on everyone’s list as at least one of the ten worst ever. For those fortunate enough not to have seen it, picture John Wayne playing Genghis Khan (that’s right!), sounding exactly like he always did but mouthing hokey dialogue like: “We shall ride on the silver wind, my mother;” and “If he moves, slay him.” The only “makeup” he appeared to have had was a horrible Fu Manchu mustache along with having had his eyebrows taped so they slanted upward. Susan Hayward didn’t look very much like a Tarter either.

Wayne lobbied for the part, apparently trying to prove he was a serious actor rather than a period movie star who always played himself. If so, he failed dismally. This was the last film financed by Howard Hughes. The movie wasn’t released for, I think, three years after it was finished. Reportedly, even Hughes knew what a bomb it was. Nevertheless, in his waning, reclusive years, it was one of the movies he watched over and over again, perhaps as an exercise of masochistic self-flagellation over one of his few failures in life (at least financial ones).

 

[ElizabethPH]

The movie wasn’t released for, I think, three years after it was finished. Reportedly, even Hughes knew what a bomb it was. Nevertheless, in his waning, reclusive years, it was one of the movies he watched over and over again, perhaps as an exercise of masochistic self-flagellation over one of his few failures in life (at least financial ones).

Seems like I read someplace that it was released in 1974 and not even in the theaters but on television; they shelved it that long not necessarily because it was an awful movie, but because of the radioactive/cancer controversy. I found the history of this film pretty interesting, even if it was a bomb.

 

[cthulhubryan]

That’s what I mean, there’s no moral point to the movie what so ever. Maybe that’s what we Star Trek fans should start doing in the theaters. It would revive all the Star Trek movies with a bit more of a fun take on the movies.

I remember sitting with my friends in the theater in Salt Lake City when many of us yelled
“The Line Must Be Drawn … HERE” with Picard in First Contact.

 

[cthulhubryan]

1970’s “Dark Star” – pot smoking hippy astronauts with beach ball aliens. Putrid!

Benson Arizona The warm wind in your hair My body flies the galaxies My heart longs to be there
Benson Arizona
The same stars in the sky
They looked so much kinder
When we watched them, you and I

I still remember that song after all these years and will have it in my mind the rest of the day. Thanks a lot.

 

[cthulhubryan]

If I have not mentioned them before, a few movies that I would put against any others as the worst ever:

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter
Cheerleader Ninjas
Tampopo

 

[tomarin]

If I have not mentioned them before, a few movies that I would put against any others as the worst ever:

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter
Cheerleader Ninjas
Tampopo

Really? Tampopo? I’m surprised that would make anyone’s “worst ever” list. (If you had said “The Funeral,” also directed by Itami Juzo, then you might have had a case …)

 

[tomarin]

The worst movie I’ve ever seen was “Lifeforce” from 1985. It’s about space zombies. 'Nuff said.

 

[Don_Schneider]

Seems like I read someplace that it was released in 1974 and not even in the theaters but on television; they shelved it that long not necessarily because it was an awful movie, but because of the radioactive/cancer controversy. I found the history of this film pretty interesting, even if it was a bomb.

Yes, you’re quite right! I must be slipping. My memory for such detail was at least *once *pretty good. However, a movie that was made in 1956 and not released (and then only for TV as you indicated) until 1974, tells a tale regarding its worthiness to be included on this thread.

Look, when one talks about “worst movies,” there should be separate categories for major studio productions and independent films like the Ed Wood’s laughers. I still say that in the former category, it would be hard to find a film worse than The Conqueror! Even so, it had some redeeming virtues. The cinematography was excellent. It was just the writing and absolutely horrible casting that tanked it.

If Powell had any say in the casting, then he bears contributory responsibility. If not and he just took the film on for the paycheck, then that was not the case.

Thanks again for the factual correction.

 

[John_Pascendi]

How much paper can I use…among the worst was High Noon,a flick that glorifies the town harlot as the true hero,the towns folk are cowards and wont support the marshall,this was written by Dalton Trumbo one of the hollyweird crowd ,another was Peyton place…this propaganda flick also hits small town america…everyone is a fake,phony ,fraud! church goers all but each cheating etc…one horrible sequence has a stepfather raping his daughter and the local doc performs an abortion on her and is proud of it…another bit of propaganda was…the best years of their lives…this came out the year following the end of ww2,three vets.one comes home to find out his wife is a harlot,the other that no one likes him anymore including his children and the third, a real life wounded sailor,has no hands and wears metal claws that all of the neighborhood kids snear at…a real pacifist flick…most films since the late thirties protray fathers has morons anyway so I am hardly one to ask in this case…Pas

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Gurney Halleck – I concur with your opinion as well. No series is perfect, by any means. Along with the messages each episode trys to convey, there is also alot about Star Trek that non-Trek fans don’t understand. For me, it’s just as much about friendship as anything else. These characters have a deep rooted friendship that DOES stand the test of time. The same is true of Next Gen, Deep Space 9 (a personal favorite of mine), Voyager and even Enterprise.

BTW, one of my absolute favorite Original Series episodes is Journey To Babel which contains alot of great humor between the characters as well. I especially love the relationship between Spock and his parents, Sarek, portrayed by Mark Leonard and Amanda, portrayed by Jane Wyatt. But the episode that I think does the best at making use of Shakespere within the context of a particular episode is The Conscience of the King.

Ok, I’m getting a bit too cerebral. Please forgive me.

Forgive you? Heck, bring it! I love talking Trek! Babel was one of my personal favorites also! We have Orions, Andorians, Spock’s pops, and Jane Wyatt! I’m there!

I like The Savage Curtain, the Abe Lincoln episode, Day of the Dove with the klingons and Michael Ansara, Wolf in the Fold with Jack the Ripper, oh man, the list goes ON and ON!

Keep on being cerebral! I’m a Wrath of Kahn, Voyage Home, Undiscovered Country sorta guy, too!

 

[Irish_Kathy]

I remember sitting with my friends in the theater in Salt Lake City when many of us yelled
“The Line Must Be Drawn … HERE” with Picard in First Contact.

Hi cthulhubryan

Another great movie to do it with would be The Voyage Home. For instance, “A keyboard, how quaint.” Also if anyone has actually read the novel for The Voyage Home there’s a line that they should have had in it when Dr. Taylor was on the operating table after Dr. McCoy explains away what Gillian’s problem is “I BEG YOUR PARDON!!!” Everyone in the theater could yell it out at the same time.

 

[cthulhubryan]

Really? Tampopo? I’m surprised that would make anyone’s “worst ever” list. (If you had said “The Funeral,” also directed by Itami Juzo, then you might have had a case …)

Tampopo made no sense. Of course, I missed about the first 20 minutes or so. Maybe I’ll have to watch it again. Maybe this time with English subtitles

 

[tomarin]

Tampopo made no sense. Of course, I missed about the first 20 minutes or so. Maybe I’ll have to watch it again. Maybe this time with English subtitles

It’s been years since I saw it but the plot concerned a nice single mom/business owner who is overwhelmed by the responsiblities of running a mediocre noodle shop and whose son is a victim of bullies at school; a manly truck driver stops by and decides to help her learn the secret of making really delicious noodles and to help her son fight off the bullies. Then, his mission accomplished, he rides off into the metaphoric sunset (presumably to help other troubled people resolve their problems), a la The Lone Ranger. Thus the movie is “about” how seemingly hopeless situations are never as hopeless as they appear.

Despite the contemporary Japanese setting the movie’s overall tone recalls classic American westerns. The noodle shop owner could be a female farmer whose husband is killed or missing and the truck driver a wandering do-gooder who knows how to get things done. However unlike in that movie, he doesn’t stay and marry the shop-owner in the end for some reason. I don’t think they have a romantic relationship at all.

 

[Irish_Kathy]

Imagine, if you can, this particular movie that my sisters and I went to see several years ago. Even though the story is questionable, we somehow managed to talk about it all the way home. BTW, this is not my review of the movie. It just happens to have had the best description of the movie from a storyline perspective that I could find online.

This review is from: **Insignificance **.

In this quirky highly original film director Nicolas Roeg posits the theoretical question, what would happen if Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Joe DiMaggio and Senator Joe McCarthy were all gathered together in the same hotel room for one evening in 1953?

An eclectic gathering indeed. If it helps you to conceptualize where this film is headed, think of this as an evening of psychotherapy for the rich and famous. Marilyn wants to be loved for her brain, yet continually relies on her sex appeal for attention. Her husband and sports legend Joe DiMaggio wants to express his deep feelings of love for his wife but can’t seem to express himself without a pack of baseball cards in his hand. Meanwhile Senator Joe McCarthy is busy scowling and perfusely sweating as he continues a campaign of threats and intimidation against everyone in the room.

Einstein’s quiet evening alone has definitely taken an unexpected turn. Between the emotional angst displayed by the vulnerable sex kitten, the inept attempt at reconcillation by her superstar husband and the politics of fear levied by the Senator, the usually aloof, unattached scientist finds himself in an environment beyond his control, even for one of his mental capabilities. It turns out to be an evening of personal discovery for all involved.

‘Insignificance’ is really a mixed bag, one of those films you either get it or you don’t. Not by any means a great movie, but it has its moments, the best moment being Marilyn’s attempt to impress Dr. Einstein by explaining his theory of relativity using toy trains and flashlights as props. Very cute, thank you Theresa Russell!

This may not be a film that would stand up well to alot of repeat viewings but worth a viewing nonetheless. Starring; Michael Emil as Albert Einstein, Theresa Russell as Marilyn Monroe, Gary Busey as Joe DiMaggio and Tony Curtis as Joe McCarthy.

 

[barb_finnegan]

why do you say that?

I’ve heard of that one… doesn’t he play a priest??

is it anti-Cathlic?

was Newman anti-catholic…?

‘The Silver Chalice’ was Paul Newman’s debut movie-and he immediately disowned it when it came out!

It’s based on a novel written in the late 40s, early 50s by the Canadian writer Thomas P. Costain. It tells the story of Basil of Antioch, a young artisan who was ransomed from slavery by St. Luke [yes, the St. Luke] to fashion a decorative frame for the Chalice used by Our Lord at the Last Supper. Besides St. Luke, other historical characters in the novel include Joseph of Arimathea [he had the Chailce in his home in Jerusalem], Simon the Magician, and Emperor Nero. Basil falls in love with Deborra, the granddaughter of Joseph who was brought up a Christian, and marries her. But there is a complication: when Basil was the adopted son of a wealthy merchant of Antioch named Ignatius, he encounters Helena, a beautiful slave in the household. After Ignatius dies, Basil is disinherited by his greedy brother Linus, and is sent into slavery. Helena runs away from the house of Ignatius, and sends a warning note to Basil at his new master’s house that Linus is out to kill him. They meet up later in Jerusalem, where Helena has become the assistant to Simon the Magician. Basil is torn between his love for Deborra, and his gratitude to Helena. But Deborra is wise-she tells Basil to see Helena in Rome, where Simon has gone to seek his fortune in the court of Nero.

Basil has already made a model of the frame for the Chalice, with model heads of the Apostles-he includes St. Luke and St. Paul, whom he met in Jerusalem. Now his journey will take him to Ephesus, where he sees St. John preach, and to Rome, where St. Peter [called Cephas when he first appears] is living incognito as a servant in an inn where Basil is staying. He meets Helena again, and she gets him entree into the court of Nero. Basil impresses Nero when he makes some clay models of the Emperor, and so he is, more or less, forced to stay in the palace. While there, he meets members of Nero’s household who are Christian. He has no ambition to remain in Nero’s presence, and has a confrontation with Helena about it. Whatever affection he had for her is now gone, and he tells her of the love he now has for his wife Deborra, who now lives in Antioch and is waiting for his return.

Things come to a head for Basil at a banquet in the Imperial Palace. A young Christian slave named Juli-Juli performs a dance before Nero and his guests, which include Basil.
News is given of the murder of a Senator who had Christians among his slaves. Then Helena, who is also at the banquet, tells Nero that there are Christians in his household. She demands that Tigellinus, head of Nero’s secret police, question Juli-Juli. When the young dancer courageously confesses her Faith, she is sent to the dungeons below the palace. Then Helena says that Basil, Nero’s ‘little genius’, is also a Christian. A miracle happens in the heart and spirit of Basil, and he confesses that he, too, is a Christian. In the confusion, he is able to escape the palace, sees Peter again, finds out that Juli-Juli died under torture, and has a vision of Our Lord’s face as a reward for his confession of faith.

Basil gets out of Rome to go back to Antioch. But both Simon the Magician and Helena die when a flying stunt he arranged for Nero goes horribly wrong [Simon dies after leaping from the tower with no wires attached to him, and Helena gets thrown off the tower after trying to escape]. Basil is reunited with Deborra, the barrier between them finally fallen, and he completes the frame for the Chalice. But the Zealots, who pursued Basil, Deborra, and St. Luke from Jerusalem, break into the house that the couple live in, and steal, not only the Chalice, but the head of Our Lord that Basil made after his vision in Rome.

Going back to Paul Newman-I don’t know if he was anti-Catholic. I know that his wife Joanne Woodward did PSAs for Planned Parenthood in the late 60s, early 70s.

But he completely ‘disowned’ ‘The Silver Chalice’-he vowed that he would never be in a movie where he had to wear ‘a skirt’!

 

[HollyDolly]

why do you say that?

I’ve heard of that one… doesn’t he play a priest??

is it anti-Cathlic?

was Newman anti-catholic…?

no, Newman wasn’t anti-Catholic that I know. It has to do with the cup Jesus used at the Last Supper. It was made in the 1960s, or early 70s, around the same time as the movie,The Robe, which was also about Jesus and I think had richard Burton in it. www.imdb.com has synoses and cast lists for both movies.Don’t think Paul Newman was a priest, but a roman citizen.