Nasty Note from Coworker

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novaslasher

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So what would you do in this situation?

I share an office with a co-worker engineer at a nice and professional small company. We generally get along well and are becoming friends. We don’t hang out after work though. He’s a popular guy around the office and is a joker and an extrovert. He also loves animals and has shown hints of being a bit of an environmentalist, although he’s never talked to me about environmentalism.

Today, I came into the office and found a cruel and nasty letter on my desk signed by the CEO. The CEO is a very amiable and even-tempered man who is also very fair and friendly. The letter was written with a black marker on a sheet of scrap paper and was addressed to me. It basically said, "Why are you killing our planet with your garbage? Are you too slow to understand the concept of recycling? Are these words to big for you? Do you hate puppies? etc. etc. " It was a full page letter that raved on and on about how stupid I was not to recycle. Whoever gave me the letter also dumped the trash from my bin that I left last night on my desk.

At first I thought the janitor was some eco-nut who did this. I couldn’t believe the CEO would do this, but I e-mailed the CEO and asked if he left a letter on my desk (without telling him about the contents). He e-mailed me back and said he didn’t leave me a letter. Although it could be the janitor, I suspect my coworker did this. My coworker left after I did last night. The writing on the letter is distinctive and matches his writing on posters on our office wall.

Do you guys think this a bad joke? Is my coworker crazy? Did he cross the line? The letter really upset me. I hate to think my office coworker would do these kinds of things without talking to me about this rationally. It makes me wonder what he says behind my back and whether I can trust him. He will be here tomorrow morning and I’m not looking forward to a confrontation. What do you think I should do?
 
I would certainly say something to my co-worker! It needn’t be confrontational, but you might say that you are always available if he has concerns about your work, but that you don’t appreciate anonymous notes.
Then I would turn the note in for my supervisor to read.
 
*:confused: How bizarre.

I might laughingly say to the coworker…you didn’t put this on my desk, did you? If he says ‘‘no,’’ I’d say, well, I thought you might have been joking. And then I’d say…’‘if I get another one of these notes, I’m calling HR.’’ If it IS him, and he won’t admit it, he’ll realize that you’re going to take it a step further if he puts another note on your desk. No one has a right to speak to you that way at work, nor make you feel bad about throwing away your garbage. I’m a recycler, but I don’t inspect my coworker’s garbage cans to see if they are too.! lol I hope that it doesn’t happen again after your first conversation with him about the note. :o*
 
Well, you could have fun with the coworker, and tell him that you gave the CEO a piece of your mind about the note, and the CEO wants to see the two of you right away. :eek:

Or, you could just give it to whomever does the HR function at your office, and let it go at that…
 
That note and actions could be considered harrassment and subject to all sorts of discipline.

I would bring the note in to your supervisor and say you found it on your desk etc. Let him call in the janitor and your coworker and anybody else and see what he can find.
 
People who can’t have a respectful conversation about their opinions are cowards.

I would turn the letter in to HR and ask that they investigate the incident. Let them figure out who it might have been written by, and deal with it as harassment.
 
I guess I would ask your co-worker about it in a “What’s up with this? Was this supposed to be a joke?” sort of a way. If he was joking, I would let him know that he needs to work on his technique, that he missed the mark with this one. If he was serious, I would let him know that you prefer talking about any problems he might have with you in a more direct and up front sort of a way.
 
Thanks for your opinions guys. There were a few other details this morning that I left out of the OP. After e-mailing the CEO and finding out he didn’t send the letter (I was sure he wouldn’t do anything this insane), I sat in my desk and fumed. I couldn’t ask my coworker about the letter because he didn’t show up for work today.

I decided to visit the HR manager after comparing the writing on the letter to my coworker’s various posters on the wall. I gave her the letter and told her calmly that we had a problem. She read the letter and agreed that it was insulting, cruel and bizarre. I didn’t tell her who I thought wrote the letter because I didn’t want to make groundless accusations. She said she would try to get to the bottom of it. She then asked me whether she thought my coworker did this. She suspected him based on some things he has done before. I told her the handwriting looked familiar and I thought it might be him. I told her I would talk to my coworker tomorrow. I also asked if I could move offices if there was a problem between us. She checked with the CFO (the only company officer in the building today) and got permission for me to move.

After talking to HR, the CEO e-mailed me again and asked why I wanted to know if he left a letter. I told him someone left a nasty note about not recycling on my desk and signed his name on the letter. I told him I brought the letter to HR. I’ve had no response from the CEO so far.

I’m not going to move offices until I have the chance to talk to my coworker tomorrow and see his reaction. I’m thinking about telling him about the letter and asking him straight out (nicely) whether he wrote the letter. If he says yes, I’ll find out why he did this and ask why he couldn’t just ask me to recycle nicely (I would have done it if he asked). If he denies it, I’m going to mention that I contacted the CEO and HR. If he reacts badly, I’ll move offices. If he reacts well and apologizes I’ll drop the matter.
 
*That sounds like it was the right course…I hope it works out! *
 
whatevergirl said:
*That sounds like it was the right course…I hope it works out! *
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I hope it was. I’m not sure if I overreacted. The worst part of this is that I feel “betrayed” by a friend. Maybe betrayed is the wrong word, but I definitely feel insulted. This guy is really funny, an office clown, and has helped me out in the past with rides after work. He has asked me and my gf to hang out after work with his wife and friends. I thought we were becoming friends.

Now I could be oversensitive and he could be joking, but the insults were still WAY over the top. Also, who throws garbage on someone’s desk and tries to impersonate the CEO? It just crossed the line. It sucks to have your office environment ruined like this. 😦
 
novaslasher said:
I hope it was. I’m not sure if I overreacted. The worst part of this is that I feel “betrayed” by a friend. Maybe betrayed is the wrong word, but I definitely feel insulted. This guy is really funny, an office clown, and has helped me out in the past with rides after work. He has asked me and my gf to hang out after work with his wife and friends. I thought we were becoming friends.

Now I could be oversensitive and he could be joking, but the insults were still WAY over the top. Also, who throws garbage on someone’s desk and tries to impersonate the CEO? It just crossed the line. It sucks to have your office environment ruined like this. 😦
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I truly don’t think you overreacted. Really. It is definitely odd…and the CEO would have a right to be angry, because it places the company at risk…that’s the thing with it all. So, no you did not overreact. Don’t worry, hopefully, this will be easily resolved. :o
 
novaslasher said:
So what would you do in this situation?

signed by the CEO. … I e-mailed the CEO and asked if he left a letter on my desk (without telling him about the contents). He e-mailed me back and said he didn’t leave me a letter… What do you think I should do?
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I’m not sure the CEO would be appreciative that his name was being forged. It was “signed” by the CEO. Why not take it to the CEO?
 
Bailey2 said:
I’m not sure the CEO would be appreciative that his name was being forged. It was “signed” by the CEO. Why not take it to the CEO?
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I couldn’t give it directly to the CEO since he is not based in this office. Nevertheless, he is aware that someone forged a nasty letter in his name (see above posts).

I’ll post back in this thread after I talk to my coworker tomorrow (assuming he shows up).
 
If it turns out that is was your co-worker, if THIS is how he treats new friends, I’d hate to see how he treats enemies. He sounds like a real nut job. If you are no longer “friendly” becaue you turned him into to HR, I would not consider it much of a loss. I TOTALLY think you did the right thing. I would’ve been so mad to find the trash dumped on my desk, nevermind the nasty forged note. I hope he gets in big trouble. He was way out of line.
 
novaslasher said:
What do you think I should do?
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Show the note to your CEO and ask him what the company policy is, on this sort of thing.

I had an incident with men putting pornography on my desk when I was the only woman in my department. I showed the pictures to my boss, even though I was very embarrassed by the whole thing.

Two men were fired, and the rest of them were extremely polite to me from that day forward - I never had to open my own door again. 😛
 
I’m always amazed when adults behave like this.

I think you were right in taking to HR. I’d probably have gone to my team leader, but we don’t have any HR people in this building. This is a very big company and everything is online or on the phone these days.

When I talked to the other person, I would tell him about it like I didn’t think it was him. I don’t expect he would admit it any way you approached him, but maybe you’ll get a reaction that will give him away. In any case, I think moving offices is a good idea.

And I’m sure the CEO doesn’t appreciate people using him name in any way at all, much less to be nasty.
 
I would go STRAIGHT to both your superior AND to Human Resources with the note and, if possible, a picture from your desk.

Let them have COPIES of the note, but YOU keep the original.
 
Just show the the note to HR and avoid your colleague as much as possible so he doesn’t start anything else. I wouldn’t involve your CEO in any of this because it really isn’t his job to deal with things like that.
 
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