Natural Family Planning morality confusion?

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****Tim: First of all I congratulate you on a good catholic web site. My only problem is in the teaching against contraception, Unfortunately the Church, by allowing NFP has opened the door to all contraception except for that of the “pill” or like chemicals which actually cause the death of a conceived human.

As we know Onan’s crime is for wasting the seed, in other words having sex without the possibility of conception. Unfortunately NFP when practiced does the same thing. The practicing couple know that at certain times they cannot get pregnant through NFP and thus when consumating their marriage at these times they are wasting the seed as they know it is not possible to have a child.

There can be no attempt to use any possible damage to the body such as vasectomy as an excuse as we know that our body is the temple of the Lord. I cannot remember the last time any one who smoked, or drank heavily was excommunicated from the faith for smoking and heavy drinking, which we know does substantially more physical damage to the body than a vasectomy. The reason people practice NFP is to work out when it is possible to get pregnant or not. (admittedly some use it to get pregnant). The vast majority of people who practice NFP do so to avoid pregnancy either temporarily or permanently depending upon how many children they have already had etc. NFP is advocated as being at least as reliable as any other contraceptive method available. Since the advocation of NFP by the Church I can no longer see a difference in intent between NFP and non abortive types of contraception.

I would like you to explain to me considering the above why NFP is acceptable and say a condom or vasectomy is not. Thanks

In Christ, Tim****

J. Salza: Dear Tim. You raise some very good points about NFP. Unfortunately, many in the post-conciliar Church give us the impression that NFP is the norm and not the exception for healthy marriages. Nothing could be further from the truth. The popes have been clear that a married couple can defer the conception of a child only for “grave reasons.” If a couple does not have a grave reason to defer having children (e.g., a medical condition), then it is morally wrong to use NFP. This is the teaching of Casti Connubi and Humane Vitae.

The Church allows NFP for grave reasons because the married couple is cooperating with God’s design of the woman’s cycle. God made the cycle the way He did so that couples could exercise some responsibility in the rearing of children. NFP does not introduce anything artificial into the marriage. Artificial birth control deliberately intends on preventing the conception of life. NFP does not deliberately do this. It leaves the possibility of life open. There is nothing at all immoral about introducing responsibility to the process if there is a grave reason to do so, all the while welcoming God’s will for a new child if that is indeed His will.

I got the above information from
scripturecatholic.com/sexuality_qa.html#tradition-II

I am confused because I always thought NFP was a completley morally acceptable means to plan your family and kids. I completely agree with NFP and I am compleley against contraception and understand how contraception is morally wrong.

However in reading the above, it is saying it is morally wrong to use NFP to reasonably plan kids and it is only right to use NFP for “grave reasons” ???

I’m having a tough time agreeing with that statement. When using NFP you are still open to the possibility of life, how is it still morally wrong? So is it morally wrong to only hope for 3 kids vs. 7 kids?

I believe it is not wrong to hope and plan and try to have only lets say 3 kids but if you have more than 3 you should of course be open and loving and supportive of more children as that is God’s plan if you end up with more children than you hope for. How is NFP morally wrong to reasonably plan and space out your children?

Not every married couple want’s to be birthing out babies year after year. I wouldn’t want my wife to feel like her only purpose is to pop out babies either even though I would be completely open to a child everytime I have intercourse with her.

Can someone please explain this new troubling information?
 
bump anyone?

I realized it’s probably too long of a post but if anyone could at least just read my question at the bottom.

Thanks!
 
However in reading the above, it is saying it is morally wrong to use NFP to reasonably plan kids and it is only right to use NFP for “grave reasons” ???

Can someone please explain this new troubling information?
You should not be troubled. While the author of this website is knowledgeable and sincere, he is NOT the Magesterium. What he states is not in line with Church teaching on the matter. It is his opinion on Church teaching.

The Church teaches this in the Catechism:

2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality

2370 Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.

Pope Paul VI taught this in Humanae Vitae:

If therefore there are **well-grounded reasons for spacing births, arising from the physical or psychological condition of husband or wife, or from external circumstances, **the Church teaches that married people may then take advantage of the natural cycles immanent in the reproductive system and engage in marital intercourse only during those times that are infertile, thus controlling birth in a way which does not in the least offend the moral principles which We have just explained.
 
It is my understanding that we are only to use NFP to **indefinitely prevent pregnancy **for serious reasons. However, those reasons may be widely varied, such as financial, health concerns, or other concerns about the couple’s ability to adequately provide or care for the children. I would htink that if you knew you or your spouse carried a genetic marker for some serious birth defect or disease, it would be acceptable as well. However, I also know many couples who use it routinely simply to space out births for the basic health, safety, and sanity of the entrie family. As far as I know, this is also perfectly permissable. I have even tried to use it to help me conceive, as my husband and I both have some health issues which impair fertility.
 
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