Near Occasion of sin

[gcm101]

Today I was on the train and a few minutes after I sat down this girl sat down on the other end of the carriage. She was pretty gorgeous. Anyway I was sorta admiring her hair and started wondering if me not moving was a near occasion of sin? I’m probably overreacting, but I didn’t purposely put myself in that position. I didn’t really want to move because I liked where I was sitting As more people got on I couldn’t see her from where I was sitting. I moved over to the seat next to me to let someone else sit down, and from that seat I could see her.

I have had problems with lust for a while now, but I’ve been trying to look and girls and appreciate them, and try to turn impure thoughts into good ones.

So basically my question is: if you think you’ve been put in a ‘near occasion of sin’ totally by accident, and you don’t try to get out of it, is this wrong?

I’ve been battling scrupulosity for a while now and am only now starting to get better.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything wrong, but just for future reference it would be good to know. thanks

 

[JD27076]

If you had lust with such girl, you committed a mortal sin or got into the near occasion of sin. Go to confession.

If you just admired her beauty, then do not worry about it.

 

[gcm101]

If you had lust with such girl, you committed a mortal sin or got into the near occasion of sin. Go to confession.

If you just admired her beauty, then do not worry about it.

Yeah I’m pretty sure I was just admiring, but how do we know when admiration turns into lust?

 

[Bookcat]

A near occasion for mortal sin is basically something etc which due to its nature or due for for the person in particular – it generally or always (or would likely) – leads one to commit the mortal sin in question.

So for example if one usually would fall into the mortal sin of getting drunk- loosing ones reason when one goes to a particular place – that place or the situation there can be said to be a near occasion.

As for scruples - put sure to have a “regular confessor” who can judge regarding such and knowing your difficulties can direct one --such is the age old practice.

As for looks…

Jimmy Akin of Catholic Answers:

jimmyakin.com/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html

One needs of course too a “reasonable” custodia occulorum (custody of the eyes)

(particularily in the case of those who are dressed rather immodestly)

And the virtue of modesty protects chastity.

Catechism:

2520 Baptism confers on its recipient the grace of purification from all sins. But the baptized must continue to struggle against concupiscence of the flesh and disordered desires. With God’s grace he will prevail

• by the virtue and gift of chastity, for chastity lets us love with upright and undivided heart;
• by purity of intention which consists in seeking the true end of man: with simplicity of vision, the baptized person seeks to find and to fulfill God’s will in everything;313
• by purity of vision, external and internal; by discipline of feelings and imagination; by refusing all complicity in impure thoughts that incline us to turn aside from the path of God’s commandments: “Appearance arouses yearning in fools”;314
• by prayer:

I thought that continence arose from one’s own powers, which I did not recognize in myself. I was foolish enough not to know . . . that no one can be continent unless you grant it. For you would surely have granted it if my inner groaning had reached your ears and I with firm faith had cast my cares on you.315

2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.

2522 Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

2523 There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies.

2524 The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man. It is born with the awakening consciousness of being a subject. Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a9.htm#II

 

[pgnat1]

I have talked to my spiritual director (priest) a few times about the sin of lust. He told me a few things that I (and every other male teenager) must keep in mind. We are going through puberty and developing, so sexual temptations are common. However, it becomes lust the second you “engage in the thought” and tell God you would take the thought over him. However, if a tempation comes in your head after seeing an attractive girl, you have to flee to God at once and fight the temptation. It can be done. The hard part for us is that our generation is experiencing a culture not focused on God, but other earthly things.

An analogy could be a Lamborghini car. Looking at the car and saying it is cool, then forgetting about it the rest of the day is not bad. However, if you dwell on the car and make it an idol in your life and throughout the day, that is bad. It is so similar to girls. Obviously, girls are attractive and have beauty which God gave them. Everything God has made is good. We, as guys, have to respect women. God made women because he saw how man was lonely. I do not know what I would do without them!

SO, I guess the moral is do not give into tempations. Turn to God when you have a tempation = maybe say a Hail Mary or Prayer to St. Michael… This really helps. God knows it is difficult for us guys, especially in a world today that glamorizes sex and pornography, to live chastely. However, we have to flee to him and trust in him that he will take care of us.

 

[somebodywithapc]

Brothers/sisters,

For anyone struggling with sexual impurity: Please visit settingcaptivesfree.com Thousands are free through their Bible based course including myself after 13 years of bondage!!!