Need advice:5 yo won't get out of bed in AM!

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twk001

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My DD refuses to get out of bed in the mornings. She is not a morning person at all. according to DH, he was the same way. I’m completely the opposite. I don’t even use an alarm clock. I have to yell, beg, scream, and threaten to leave without her which sometimes ends in her crying and finally getting up. This is her first year of Kdg and we have to wake her up pretty early- 6:30am to leave by 7am for school. i am quite frustrated but i never intended to be that mom that constantly yelled and screamed at her kid. she is quite stubborn and most other issues we work out just fine. but this one has me ready to pull my hair out. she is always in bed by 8pm but i know she doesn’t usually go to sleep for 15-25 minutes. we read a story or two every night to slow her down. got any advice? twk
 
My youngest DD is 4 and can be that stubborn. It is particulary frustrating that I have three other children to get ready for school…so I feel your pain.
Sounds like you put her to bed early enough. Maybe try to wake her 15 minutes earlier so that she has some “pokey” time. Is she in full day kindergarten? Mine were and they were exhausted at the beginning of the year until they got used to it. Then in December, their teacher picks up the pace and they were tired again until they got used to it.

What has been helping us lately is that DD really likes her vitamin (they’re gummy bears) and I tell her that they are ready for her on the counter but she has to come and get them. It has worked…I don’t know why and I am sure it won’t last. But I am milking it for all it’s worth.

Maybe a sticker chart with a small reward after a few stickers are earned. For each morning she gets up without too much delay she earns a sticker. After earning so many stickers, let her pick out a movie that night…or get a favorite treat after school…or a dollar store item.
I think just something to make her excited to start her day.
Good luck.
 
Sounds like my kids… Jacob is 6 (also in Kindergarten, getting up early for school)… and Joshua (3) gets up at the same time for daycare…
If I’m rushed and behind I tend to have a short fuse with them, but if I’m relaxed and rub their backs, turn on some music, turn on the lights, and slowly cajole them out of bed, then it’s a little easier (never EASY, just easIER ;))…
Not sure that helps much… other than offering lots of sympathy… maybe it’s the age? 🤷
 
twk001 said:
My DD refuses to get out of bed in the mornings. She is not a morning person at all. according to DH, he was the same way. I’m completely the opposite. I don’t even use an alarm clock. I have to yell, beg, scream, and threaten to leave without her which sometimes ends in her crying and finally getting up. This is her first year of Kdg and we have to wake her up pretty early- 6:30am to leave by 7am for school. i am quite frustrated but i never intended to be that mom that constantly yelled and screamed at her kid. she is quite stubborn and most other issues we work out just fine. but this one has me ready to pull my hair out. she is always in bed by 8pm but i know she doesn’t usually go to sleep for 15-25 minutes. we read a story or two every night to slow her down. got any advice? twk
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Well my kids are not morning people either!!! 😦 I got 3 of them! They need to be in school by 7:45 am, I end up getting there by 8:15 am… It’s frustrating… They always forget something or forget where they “put away” something. The nagging, the crying, the whining, it gets pretty old esp since my kids are 10, 8 and 6!! today they went back from Christmas vacation, first time we were actually 5 mins early!!! :eek: How did it happen, I forced them to bed at 9 pm, they didn’t stop their “playing and chatting” in the dark until 10pm, I threatened to wake them up with cold water… At 6 am alarm went off, they actually got up!!! I didn’t have to do anything… BUT that’s just today… We’ll see what I have to do tomorrow!!! 😦

I have tried sweet talking to them, reading them a morning book, reading them bedtime stories, warm milk, hugs and kisses, singing songs, you name it I have tried it to put my kids to bed early and to wake them up!!! The best thing that works is when I tell them the school police will be coming to pick them up for missing school…and that I will not call their teacher to excuse them, then they get up. We get there late but at least it gets them going…

I have even tried to bribe them, give them something in return for them to GET UP early!!! 😦 Doesn’t work… I am not a morning person either, my mom had to drag me most of the time out of bed, and yes I was late once in a while, but I did this when I was in hs my sophomore and jr years only, my freshman year I was never a bother, and my senior year I wasn’t either…

My children have started nice and early…maybe it’s a good thing because then they might be early birds?🤷

Just try to wake her up even earlier, and then by the time she’s done being cranky it will work out well with you getting her to school on time.

Sometimes I feed them early bkfst, if I have the chance or time I will make them some good bkfst and that gets them happy to get up… I should do that every day but sometimes I am dead exhausted and barely able to get out of bed myself… 😦 But maybe you should try that!!!
 
What time is she going to bed? If she is going to sleep later than 8:30 PM, that could be part of the problem. Try moving bedtime up by 30/60 minutes. ETA - see you said she is in bed by 8 - never mind this part 🙂

Get things ready the night before - pack lunches, lay out clothes, find shoes and backpack. This is part of the evening ritual.

IMHO, getting up at 6:30 to leave at 7 is not do-able for a non-morning person. Give her time to start the day with a morning prayer, good breakfast, not out of bed into clothes and out the door.

Wake her up at 5:45, that is “first call” - then, give her a 15 minute snooze time. At 6 it is up and at em! Come into her room, and the two of you kneel beside the bed for a morning prayer (this is a habit that if developed early will serve her well for the rest of her life!).

She is getting dressed by 6:15 and that gives time for breakfast, getting things together in a calm way and then out the door.

Don’t let her “sleep in” on Saturday or vacations - maybe sleep til 6:30, but, waking up at the same time every day is important to develop good sleep habits.
 
I have the opposite problem! All three of my kids and my husband are all morning people and I am not!!! You would think that after all of these years, I would become more like them, nope! I tend to hide in the morning until I am awake enough to be nice! It took awhile for my husband to not take offense to me in the morning. He thought I was mad at him. Now he knows to just let me be for awhile and then I come around.
My mother never did figure it out! We had most of our fights in the morning because she just wouldn’t stop talking to me. Once I’m up for 10 mins. or so, with quiet, I’m fine, but if someone starts yapping at me as soon as my eyes are open, well, it’s not pretty.
So here’s my suggestion, if she stays awake 15 to 20 mins. after being put to bed, get her in bed 15 to 20 mins. earlier, so she’s asleep by 8:00. Start slowly with her in the morning. Some of us don’t do well with information overload as we are waking up. Lay out her clothes the night before, have book bag and snacks packed. So all she has to do is grab it and go.
 
I would do what kage_ar suggested, but- If at the point of morning prayers she still isn’t out of bed, I would physically stand her up, away from the covers, which are warm. I would also let her go to the bathroom first. That’s where the Kiddy Coffee is (warm milk with a variety of sweeteners and a litlte coffee).

Daisy is not a morning person. I put her Candie’s booties on her big feet at 6:10, one at a time, and start the physical hauling of her out of bed. I don’t yell. I don’t punish. I just pull a lot, push a little. But we do prayer in the kitchen.
 
IMHO, getting up at 6:30 to leave at 7 is not do-able for a non-morning person. Give her time to start the day with a morning prayer, good breakfast, not out of bed into clothes and out the door.
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Wake her up at 5:45, that is “first call” - then, give her a 15 minute snooze time. At 6 it is up and at em! Come into her room, and the two of you kneel beside the bed for a morning prayer (this is a habit that if developed early will serve her well for the rest of her life!).
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She is getting dressed by 6:15 and that gives time for breakfast, getting things together in a calm way and then out the door.
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This makes a whole ton of sense.

I remember my parents waking me up when I was little far too late to be able to peacefully get ready for school, or eat a decent breakfast. We were always in a mad rush and I HATED the idea of even getting out of bed knowing that it was just going to be an onslaught of COME ON!! HURRY UP!!! WERE GOING TO BE LATE!!! That would make anyone want to stay in bed!:ouch:

I think 30 min is far too rushed especially for a wee kindergartner. And some kids, there is just NO hurrying, the concept is foreign to them, they can’t do it. Very common at that age. And, some people just can’t wake up quickly. I get up at 430 and I literally can’t taste my coffee until 530 because my brain is not awake to receive taste (name removed by moderator)ut yet. You could put liver in my mouth at 430 and I would have no idea:shrug:

It really sounds like your child just needs more time, and needs to feel less anxious and rushed about getting ready for school. I think what kage_ar suggested sounds like a great plan:thumbsup:

And do yourself a favor and have your little one help you get ready the night before too. Set clothes out, pack a lunch or snack or whatever she takes, make sure you have socks and shoes and/or boots and of course that one mitten that you’re always looking for at 659am, then the mornings you will have time to chat about the day ahead etc.

Praying for better mornings for you both!:signofcross: 🙂
 
#1, Sounds like she needs to go to bed earlier. Our daughter has full-day Kind., and some days she can go to bed as early as at 7:00 and sleep until 6!

#2, There is the not-minding issue. Not sure if this is all the time or just in the AM, but Dr. Ray would say that you’ve trained your daughter not to listen (speaking from personal experience). There must be consequences if you are ignored and they must be enforced the very first time, consistently. Be reasonable and loving, but firm.
 
kage_ar said:
IMHO, getting up at 6:30 to leave at 7 is not do-able for a non-morning person.
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I think this is a BIG part of it.

Non-morning people often need a good 15 minutes of lounge time once they are out of bed in order to truly wake up. Besides some of the other suggestions you might try offering her a small cup of juice when she first first wakes up. If she drinks it then she gets another 10-15 minutes of snuggle time in a comfy chair (not a sofa) wrapped up in a warm blanket.

I think one of the problems with non-morning people is that their sleep/dream cycles are just set later than those of morning people. If you wake such a person up earlier she will be operating on something less than a good night of sleep. I believe there are ways to use heat and light to slowly change the time of those sleep cycles.
 
I had 2 early risers and a sleepyhead… drove me nuts! What I did was get a kitchen timer and tell ds2 he had 5 mins to get ready… make it a game. It actually worked until the bugger too the timer apart to see how it worked… but at least by then, I got him in the habit. I know it sounds too simplistic to work but it did…

I also agree with not letting him sleep in on weekends or holidays… Some kids really need a very structured schedule. Bed time was another way I worked with it… If you can’t get right up tomorrow morning, you will go to bed a half hour earlier tomorrow night and we will keep making bedtime earlier until we find the right time for you… I think I put him to bed early twice… he didn’t like missing the nighttime routine… so he got up when I called in the am… after he tested it and found out I would keep my word.

This same child is now 19 and gets himself up in the morning and gets going early. There is hope!
 
I agree with the pick her up and stand her up if need be. I’m not a morning person and I know how hard it can be to get up, but once trained in that she has to get up, she will with less complaining.

It worked with my 4 year old. If you’re not up and about in a few minutes, I’ll get you up.:rolleyes:

More time is also needed. Does she have an alarm clock? While you may not need one, it sounds like she does. Put in on the dresser or other piece of furniture across the room. Having to get up to shut it off does tend to get one waking up.
 
start putting her to bed 10 minutes early each night, until you reach a stage where she is still getting good sleep and has an easier time waking up. In my day children this age, essentially pre-schoolers-kinder, were often fed a light supper and bathed before the father got home from work, spend some time with him, reading a story, whatever, and put down to bed at 6:30 or 7:00.

tone down the events of the hour before bedtime too, nothing stimulating, quiet play, reading.
 
I also agree that an earlier bedtime may help. And I also want to say that I would LOVE to have your problem, lol. Lily wakes WAY too early and goes to bed WAY too early. It is much easier to make adjustments to get your child up earlier than to try to make them sleep later:thumbsup:
**
If you haven’t already, find the book by Marc Weissbluth about healthy sleep habits… LOTS of good info.

Oh, and I am SO not a morning person, never will be. So don’t fight that in your child just because she is different than you. It is just how she is. Find ways to help her, but not try to change her. **
 
SMHW said:
I think this is a BIG part of it.

Non-morning people often need a good 15 minutes of lounge time once they are out of bed in order to truly wake up. Besides some of the other suggestions you might try offering her a small cup of juice when she first first wakes up. If she drinks it then she gets another 10-15 minutes of snuggle time in a comfy chair (not a sofa) wrapped up in a warm blanket.

I think one of the problems with non-morning people is that their sleep/dream cycles are just set later than those of morning people. If you wake such a person up earlier she will be operating on something less than a good night of sleep. I believe there are ways to use heat and light to slowly change the time of those sleep cycles.
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No kidding. I am NOT a morning person. It takes me on average 1.5 hours to get myself out the door in the AM after getting up. I wish I could be one of those people who rolls out of bed and is ready for the day, but seriously I need that 1.5 hours just to make myself fit to deal with other people (DH included- we don’t talk much in the mornings because he’s the same way). My natural clock would have me waking up on my own around 8 am and going to bed at midnight (this is my weekend/vacation schedule and I always feel great when I can do this) but unfortunately life doesn’t allow for that. 😦
 
calling it in from waaaaay out in left field:

does your daughter experience enuresis (bedwetting)? if so, there’s a possible sleep disorder here. i won’t expound unless it’s relevant.
 
Wow…8 PM for a kindergartner? That would be nice… mine went to bed at midnight last night, seriously.

We have 3 and they are ALL very different (4 is due in about a month). Our oldest, kindergartener right now has never gone to be before 9:30 or 10 since he was an infant. You can put him there at 8 but he won’t fall asleep, even reading, singing etc… until about 10 and sometimes it’s later.

Our middle 4, wants to go to sleep about 9 but pushes to stay up with this brother and our 20 mo old goes to sleep about 8 or 8:30.

As they all share the same room, so we can have a playroom and guest bedroom… not sure how much longer that is going to last though, lol.

Getting them up in the morning is difficult… usually my oldest gets out of bed the best even though he has slept the least… I don’t sleep very long each night so I guess he is like I am. But I’ve got to get my middle one to be earlier.

Rewards won’t make the oldest go to sleep earlier, I have thought about getting him a book lite as he likes to read and could do that while his brothers were going to bed… anyone else have kids that are just that different?

Joe
 
I had the same problem. Only my 5 year old is now 8 1/2 and still hard to wake up in the morning. The only thing I’ve been able to do is physically get him up myself, get him to the floor and starting taking off his pj’s and help get him dressed. I’ve also given him baths in the morning which helps wake him up. I’ve had to carry/drag him in there but then he wakes up. Another thing I’ve tried is reminding him he’ll have some free time if he gets up and gets going… can watch a tv show/play video game/get on the computer which is a real incentive. But then he sits in his chair and stares at his breakfast because his stomach hasn’t woken up yet… :yawn:
 
I don’t have any great suggestions, but am here to tell you it will happen one day.

Our youngest is not a morning person and will readily admit it. Since we homeschooled, we weren’t on a time schedule.

She’s now almost 18 and gets herself up and out for school. Dh and I have left by the time she gets up, so she doesn’t have to deal w/ anyone in the AM and we don’t have to deal with her.

Just know . . . it will happen 👍 .
 
Oh, I can soooo relate to her!

I am NOT a morning person at all. My normal body clock schedule is to get to bed at 1 am, and if allowed, I would sleep until 8 or 9 am. Unfortunately, I must arise earlier than that to get my kids to school by 7:30. :cool:

During our 2 week Christmas break, I did just that…to bed at 1 am (sometimes 2) and sleeping until 9 am every morning. If I do manage to get to bed earlier, I still would like to sleep until 9…I was this way as a kid, high schooler, college kid, and now at age 40-something!
 
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