Need advice about confessing infidelity

[TheRealJuliane]

Your husband has confessed to something similar and unspoken. When you feel guilty, consider how you love and forgive your husband. Resolve to make amends to him by loving him as he is loving you. Pray for both of you.

Realize, too, though, that while you might be able to forgive yourself and accept forgiveness for this from God and your husband, that does not mean you’ll ever look back on this lapse without regret. It would be good if you could, but there may always be a mark where the patch was put in place. That is the temporal result of sin, and it can last a long time.

Trust that this, too, will one day be wiped away, on the day when all things are brought out into the light. On that day, “the measure you have measured with will be measured back to you.” If you forgive with your whole heart, you have good reason to believe that you will indeed be made one day to stand before God without spot or blemish, because you were willing to let go of all the wrongs committed against you.

A very good reminder, EasterJoy. Very good indeed.

 

[thetruth0flife]

I have been reading the forums for a while, and have truly gotten some great advice through searching for situations similar to ones I needed help with…but I am at a loss with how to deal with this situation,and I hope you all will have some advice for me:

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We were both 20 years old when we got married. We dearly loved each other but we were understandably immature and honestly didn’t know a thing about making a marriage work. We had trouble in our relationship and really didn’t know how to work on it. We had been married only a short time when I changed jobs. I worked around a lot of men who paid me a lot of attention. I did a lot of flirting, but there was one man in particular that I felt a huge attraction for. The feelings were mutual, and eventually he kissed me. I did not sleep with him, but there were other physical things that took place.

Just by reading I can tell that you don’t really like your husband. Not to be rude or anything but if you truley did love your husband you wouldn’t be flirting with other guys.

The best advice I can give you is to be honest and confess with your husband about what is going on. Other than that, assure that the television is turned off and that you guys talk about in private. Thank you and may you have a very nice day. Peace and good for all.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Just by reading I can tell that you don’t really like your husband. Not to be rude or anything but if you truley did love your husband you wouldn’t be flirting with other guys.

The best advice I can give you is to be honest and confess with your husband about what is going on. Other than that, assure that the television is turned off and that you guys talk about in private. Thank you and may you have a very nice day. Peace and good for all.

Not to be rude or anything but if you truly read through the whole thread and not just the first post you would see that this is HISTORY now and their marriage is very solid. Everyone has advised her to confess her sins to her PRIEST and not her husband. She has told him the gist of what happened and he does not need the details. They were both culpable at the time.

 

[EasterJoy]

They were both culpable at the time.

You have it…and which they both admit to each other and to themselves, from which both have repented and amended, and which both are mutually willing to forgive. It is the OP that is having trouble forgiving herself.

 

[St_Francis]

… He just hugged me as I cried…he said that it was in the past, that we all make mistakes, and that I needed to not be so hard on myself. He said he didn’t want details and that we needed to just focus on the here and now.

I think your husband has forgiven you and given you his answer.

 

[thetruth0flife]

Everyone has advised her to confess her sins to her PRIEST and not her husband. She has told him the gist of what happened and he does not need the details. They were both culpable at the time.

To clarify myself I must confess that I did read the whole story. This is between her and her husband. The thread opener never mentioned needing any help in confessing to the priest. The whole story was about insecurities appearing in their relationship and how there were times where it was unstable.

A few years ago, I told my husband that I felt guilty about some things that had happened…that I hadn’t slept with anyone else, but I still had been unfaithful.

Here is my proof and evidence. She admits herself that she had been unfaithful.

The thread needs to be more direct, that’s all. In my perspective it’s her fault and the best thing to do is to be honest and confess to whoever she needs to confess the infidelity.Thank you for your attention. God bless.

P.S. IT should have been, “Need help on how to confess infidelity.”

 

[Love333]

I just wanted to thank you all again for your advice and your prayers. I am making some progress in working through this. I have gotten the name of a good counselor that I am going to be making an appointment with, as I have also been struggling with some depression lately. It seems that when I feel depressed, these feelings of guilt make a comeback. I would love to get to the bottom of it and come to a place of more acceptance and forgiveness of myself, as I do believe God and my husband have forgiven me.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I just wanted to thank you all again for your advice and your prayers. I am making some progress in working through this. I have gotten the name of a good counselor that I am going to be making an appointment with, as I have also been struggling with some depression lately. It seems that when I feel depressed, these feelings of guilt make a comeback. I would love to get to the bottom of it and come to a place of more acceptance and forgiveness of myself, as I do believe God and my husband have forgiven me.

When your message came to the top of the forum again, I read your first post over again and thought, “Depression.” When I am depressed, I ruminate on my sins. Please consider also seeing a doctor and perhaps a trial of medication. The current medical belief is that if someone with depression is treated quickly, they will have a much smaller risk of recurring depressive episodes, but if you struggle on un-medicated, your brain may be permanently affected so that your depression is much more likely to be chronic. I’m a good example of what happens when depression is “gutted out” instead of being treated.

I’m so glad you will see a counselor! And if by chance, you don’t “click” with one, don’t get discouraged and stop. Just try another one. Sometimes there is no chemistry or the counselor really doesn’t have the right tools for you after all.