I was raised Catholic and have been one my whole life, on and off. I lived in a state with a large Catholic population and when I moved 15 years ago, it was to the Bible Belt where there are few Catholics and one church. I didn’t even go to church for two years because I didn’t know where it was. I didn’t try that hard to find it either. .
It is difficult at time when there is not a community of support and the main friends you have are protestants, to stay in the church. But also part of that is on you since going to church does not necessary mean it has to convenient.
. I never felt welcomed. No one even spoke to me for a year. I went to Confession of course. The priest was okay. .
I here this hit on Church’s all the time. Unless it is a very small church, it is difficult for most people to know each other. When a new parishioner come into my church and they let themselves known to me, I always work to make the feel at home. It is also not always the best to catch a priest after mass.
They go on and on for over an hours
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You do know that protestant services go on longer in most cases than an hour.
Besides, what is your rush, your are there with your savior and king, an hour a week is not a lot of time. Plan to spend some time afterwards in prayer, you will find it makes a difference in your life.
At the end, before the final blessing, the priest asks if there are any visitors, birthdays or anniversaries. We have to applaud for each one.
You said you didn’t feel welcomed, what do you think this was far.
There are other strange (to me) customs like this. There are only a few people doing anything and they run everything. The same family takes up the gifts every week at the service I go to. The Mass is being said for one of their family. I think they bought a year’s worth.
Typically if there is only a small group “running” things, they may need more help. Think about volunteering. As far on the one family, it may be possible that someone died in their family and they have asked for the masses to be offered on their behalf.
We recently got a new priest. I really like him. He seems very upbeat and spiritual. A few people actually talk to me now if they can’t find someone else close by and escape. I am not exagerating any of this.
Now I am confused, first you complained that your were not being welcomed and now people are. How do you know they are trying to escape?
I had gone to Confession with the new priest. I need to go often, I feel. He encouraged me to in fact. The problem is he said he would be there at 3 pm every Saturday but the next time I went he wasn’t there until 3:25. He says the rosary at 3:30 before Mass
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So he ran late one day, not unknown to happen.
This is another custom but it seems normal at least. I should mention we’re in the church hall because our church is undergoing an addition. So Confession is in the kitchen and people lurk outside. I’ve seen them do it and ask who’s in there. I asked Father if I could go to Confession. I rushed through it like a maniac so he could say the rosary because everyone made it clear they weren’t happy I was upsetting the schedule. Well, if he’s not there at 3 pm, I can’t go then, can I? I haven’t gone since. He doesn’t do appointments either. I forgot half of what I wanted to say too.
Sound like the same day, but you did receive the sacrament.
Today was the final straw. Before the final blessing, he told all the mothers to stand up. Any kind of mother so no women were left out. I am not a mother but I stood up. He walked around sprinkling holy water and when he got to me, he deliberately skipped me. I don’t think he knows if I’m a mother or not. He hasn’t been there that long and there were other women who weren’t mothers who got blessed.
It was his decision that to just bless mothers, to bless all women. no issue here.
What do you have against receiving a blessing for no other reason than your are an adopted child of God?
My question is if I leave this church will I be in grave sin. There are a lot of Protestant churches that are very Christian in attitude. I need spiritual guidance and there is no way I’m ever going to get it at this church. Not to mention, going to Mass is now something I dread and don’t look forward to any more.
I say were others said you needed to have an appointment with the priest or even a deacon. What ever is going on with you spirituality it won’t be answers on this blog.
You want to be part of a community and friends it seems, but when that is given to you you withdraw. You may be using the confessional as part of counselling and is the reason your are upset because it was cut short.
There is no point in talking to anyone there about this. Trust me on that. I will always be a Catholic in my heart but I need a real church to go to. I wish I was a good enough Christian to not let any of this bother me but I’m not. It’s making me miserable and conflicted as to what to do. I get nothing out of the Mass anymore. I don’t even know why I’m there.
Not certain what you mean by a real church. All parishes have their own quirks. Being Catholic is more than just going to mass. It is giving your time and talent in the parish and a minister of some sort, form teaching, to committees, to serving in some way in the mass. It is also service in the make of Christ beyond the parish, look to see what kind of out reach programs the parish has. I am certain there are people there you can relate to and be friends with.
It is clear that you are searching for something, but there is no better place to find it than in Christ’s true church. Before you make a decision, pray, ask God for guidance, give yourself to him, he will give your the answers you seek in some way.
Peace,
Dcn Frank
