Need advice about my priest

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Catholicgirl2020 said:
I don’t need counseling. For what? Falling in love we with someone? Did you even BBC read what I wrote in it’s entirety? I did not even w as not to tell him. I never even acted on it or showed any feelings towards him till I confessed to another "priest " online. Who told me I should tell him right away. I didn’t even want to bvb tell him. I do not need counseling for loving someone
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Believe it or not, lots of people show up for counselling due to the effects of unrequited love on their whole life. It can trap a person in time, unable to grow and move on. Counselling can provide a big picture view of the situation and bust any fantasies about what it really is. Don’t knock it. It’s very common for people to ‘rent space in their head’ out to dreams and fantasy scenarios. It can even be a lifelong curse to some impinging on other relationships down the track.
 
This reminds me of a priest in the church I went who married with a layperson and quit priest. I don’t think it is a bad thing that you told him you liked him. I don’t think he is angry at you or ignoring you. He might be praying and looking for ways to react back you.
 
If you had a dear friend or a sister who was about your age and involved with a married man, what would you say to her?
 
The other priest gave you wise counsel. Regardless of the result, the priest had a right to know your feelings that way he could make a fully informed decision on how to proceed. Priests in many ways are physicians of the soul and if a “patient” wants something beyond that duty of care then it compromises the relationship and priest has a professional obligation to withdraw. The priest whom you have affection for is probably ignoring you not because he doesn’t want anything to do with but likely because it is what’s best for both of you. Especially in this day and age with all the scandal and sex abuse, priest have to be more careful than ever. Pray for that priest for I am sure it is not easy for him either. In the meantime it is worth looking into the history and the place of celibacy within the Church.
 
I don’t know about you, but for me growing up catholic me as not love, forgiveness, non-judgmental, humanity. I didn’t come on this page to get judged and my main concern has always…ALWAYS…been him. I didn’t understand why he cut off all contact. As for the 2nd priest I met online…he demanded money from from me. He said he was in rome his credit card was not working and I needed to send him money threw something called cash app. When I told h9m I didn’t feel comfortable he told me god would curse my whole family and all kinds of nasty things. So you see the 2nd priest I met online I do not think was a priest at all. As for As for you (name removed by moderator), I don’t know if you are a catholic but its people like you who are making leave the only religion I have known my entire life. Don’t talk to me about counseling, I am a trauma room nurse and have been since graduating college, I’ve seen and dealt with the unimaginable and have had cousins. I do not need counseling because I fell 8n love with a man who happened to be a priest. I fell in love with him 0lain and simple. I didn’t know if he was mad at me, didn’t forgive me, 7nable to talk to me, if I was banned from church, etc, and I came to this page to find out. Not to be judged by some ignorant person such as yourself who can’t comprehend the story
 
Well then… err… maybe we should pray on it for a bit and let calm nerves prevail, clearly there’s a lot going on here.
 
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That all went disturbingly sideways. I really don’t think we can help you further OP. The responses were caring and genuine. Probably it will be more helpful for you to seek answers from a RL Priest in your diocese. All the best.
 
Catholicgirl2020 said:
As for you (name removed by moderator), I don’t know if you are a catholic but its people like you who are making leave the only religion I have known my entire life.
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CajunJoy is one of our most respectful and charitable members. I know that this is an emotionally charged subject for you, but please do not insult her or lay blame on her for things she has not done. It doesn’t help anyone to pass blame around.
 
Catholicgirl2020 said:
I don’t know about you, but for me growing up catholic me as not love, forgiveness, non-judgmental, humanity. I didn’t come on this page to get judged and my main concern has always…ALWAYS…been him. I didn’t understand why he cut off all contact. As for the 2nd priest I met online…he demanded money from from me. He said he was in rome his credit card was not working and I needed to send him money threw something called cash app. When I told h9m I didn’t feel comfortable he told me god would curse my whole family and all kinds of nasty things. So you see the 2nd priest I met online I do not think was a priest at all. As for As for you (name removed by moderator), I don’t know if you are a catholic but its people like you who are making leave the only religion I have known my entire life. Don’t talk to me about counseling, I am a trauma room nurse and have been since graduating college, I’ve seen and dealt with the unimaginable and have had cousins. I do not need counseling because I fell 8n love with a man who happened to be a priest. I fell in love with him 0lain and simple. I didn’t know if he was mad at me, didn’t forgive me, 7nable to talk to me, if I was banned from church, etc, and I came to this page to find out. Not to be judged by some ignorant person such as yourself who can’t comprehend the story
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Why on earth would you think you were banned from Church? Churches don’t male.a habit of banning people and I’m sure if they did they would.make.it.crystal clear to you that you were not to attend the parish.

As other posters have said, your situation is akin to being in love with a married doctor or the like. One thing that I notice is that you give no hint that the one you claim to love reciprocated loving or even friendly feelings for you. Priests listen to parishioners problems.and try to connect with them. That is their job. That is not at all.the same as.being loving or friendly in a non-professional.way.

Look, as a nurse I am sure you encounter patients who mistake.the professional courtesy or sympathy of yourself or.ypur fellow nurses for something more or deeper. And have as a result to cut off contact with those patients. At the end of.the day it is not the place of such a patient to worry about the nurse.or be concerned for them - they are not friends.or lovers after all, and you don’t owe it ti patients to explain yourself to them in the way you would to a friend or lover.

My experience as a lawyer is that, because I.meet clients.at very difficult times.in their lives, they confide a.great deal in me. And I offer sympathy and advice - as is my job. And after doing so, I go my way and they go theirs. . If any one of them confided to having romantic feelings.for me, well, as a Christian it could well be that any continued contact could.put them.in the near occasion of sin.

Romantic attraction is a feeling ,true, but we are not completely helpless over it. We can feed it by dwelling on it and we can conquer it by redirecting our thoughts in more wholesome directions. How about.looking for someone to love who is free to love you in return?
 
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I greatly sympathize with you, @Catholicgirl2020.

When we are lonely and emotionally wounded, we may become
attached to a person who is off-limits romantically.

I have learned that boundaries are very important. When
I was a professor, I let the students know that the university
offered psychological counseling. (That means I don’t.)

I was available for any academic issues students might
have with my class. I directed to the dean of the appropriate
college to discuss problems with professors. (That means
I won’t take sides.)

The best part of this unpleasant condition is that you’ve learned
a life lesson. It’s best to walk away from this situation, and find
a new parish.

Hold your head up. Pray. And know that God loves us wherever we
are on our spiritual path.
 
Just go to another Catholic church. You need to forget this priest. When we fall in love with unavailable people, it’s best for any contact to end and just move on. It will hurt for a short time, then you will get over it and go on with your life.

You don’t need to “leave your religion” over it. The priest in question is not the only Catholic priest on the planet.
 
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Catholicgirl2020 said:
As for you (name removed by moderator), I don’t know if you are a catholic but its people like you who are making leave the only religion I have known my entire life.
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Please stop. No one here made you leave. You decided that all on your own.

If you have been Catholic your whole life, you should know that receiving Jesus in the Eucharist is the forefront of why you attend mass. And now, you are going to throw that away over what?

What exactly did you expect to happen when you sent that email?
 
I’m not blaming anyone in here for leaving the church. If you read my posts , I said I was I having a crisis of faith of faith I needed to figure out. Please read before you speak out
 
You’ve had a very hard lesson. Falling in love with a man who cannot date or marry you is a train wreck for you. For any of us. We don’t say this often enough in this culture but your heart is yours to guard. You knew he was a priest. If you started in the beginning to have feelings for him, the smart thing would have been to cut off contact then. Getting involved with a married man is a bad idea. If it makes you feel any better, you aren’t the first one or the last.

Learn from this experience and move on.
 
I did read and quoted your own words. So please don’t accuse people of anything.
 
I do not blame ANYONE for ANYTHING besides MYSELF. I am a grown woman and take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for my own own actions.
 
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