Need advice about Orthodox /Catholic marriage

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Deltadeliquent

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Situation:
My girlfriend is Greek Orthodox. Doesn’t really practice, there’s no church nearby, but it’s part of her heritage and identity. She’s always wanted a big church wedding.

She is currently dating a practicing Roman Catholic and things might be going that way…
He’s never been married, however…

She has. She was married on the beach in the Bahamas, in a quasi religious ceremony at a hotel. There was no crowning. The way I understand it, the religious part was just some amorphous God talk that was not tied to a particular tradition.

This marriage failed due to his unwillingness to engage in the marital act except for once a few years after the wedding. Then my friend discovered he was bonking a couple of other women under her nose. She filed.

She has a civil divorce. She still wants a big church wedding either in the Catholic Church or the Greek Orthodox with the priest of the other church attending and co officiating. So they are married in both churches. THIS one is forever! A religious love lock!

If it makes a difference, both parties are British and live in England. My girlfriend traveled to the Bahamas to have the ceremony only, and they came right home to the U.K. And took up “married” life.

Question: does she need a Ecclesiacal divorce from her Church in order to marry the Catholic in a double tradition ceremony?

Would she need to have a Catholic annulment? Would she need to have both?

Can you confirm that both parties would need dispensations from their Churches to marry each other?

Thanks for you help and knowledge.
 
These are questions they should be asking a Greek Orthodox and Catholic priest, respectively. General information:

Neither the Catholic nor the GO Churches recognize her civil marriage attempt as a valid marriage. She was required by the GO Church to be married by a GO priest. Both she and he will have to show freedom to marry to the CC, which involves paperwork. A GO priest will tell her what she has to do in the GO Church to be free to marry.

The Orthodox have much more strict requirements for valid marriage, therefore a Catholic-GO couple marries in the GO Church. There is no such thing as co-officiating, but the Catholic priest can be present.

The two of them need to complete marriage preparation in both churches.

They should make appointments to talk to priests in both Churches.
 
Yes, the Catholic diocese will likely advise that the wedding be held in the Orthodox Church for her sake…otherwise her Church may not recognize the marriage at all. This isn’t akin to a Catholic marrying a Protestant. Typically the Catholic party also has an obligation to raise the child Catholic, but in this case there may be agreement on both sides to raise the child Orthodox. This needs to be discussed by the couple with both the Catholic and Orthodox priest.
 
twf said:
Yes, the Catholic diocese will likely advise that the wedding be held in the Orthodox Church for her sake…otherwise her Church may not recognize the marriage at all. This isn’t akin to a Catholic marrying a Protestant. Typically the Catholic party also has an obligation to raise the child Catholic, but in this case there may be agreement on both sides to raise the child Orthodox. This needs to be discussed by the couple with both the Catholic and Orthodox priest.
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+1
This may sound harsh, but if you really care for your girlfriend,
ask her to think at least twice before marrying a Catholic.
You say she is not really practicing. But marriage and especially
children can change that and you have severe problems faster than you would think.
Take it from me, I know exactly what I am talking about, being married to an Orthodox myself!

Don´t buy the second lung theory when it comes to marriages resp. the
“we-are-both-traditional-Christians-and-are-going-to-sort-it-out” ****.
Really. No. I have been there.

If she must marry him, I would recommend to discuss IN ADVANCE and IN DETAIL what their spiritual life is going to look like. Ideally, write it down and sign once an agreement is reached, so that there is no debate later on about exactly what was agreed. Especially
  • how to deal with calendar questions (how/where/with whom to celebrate christmas/easter/etc.)
  • in which church to baptize and raise possible children, which godparents to choose
  • what to do on Sundays: Split up, do not go to mass at all, go to Catholic mass …
    and so on.
Also, never underestimate the influence of both families trying to pull them one way or another. Furthermore, the fact that the first marriage did not work out for her should be a red flag for the Catholic part.
 
Constantin said:
  • how to deal with calendar questions (how/where/with whom to celebrate christmas/easter/etc.)
  • in which church to baptize and raise possible children, which godparents to choose
  • what to do on Sundays: Split up, do not go to mass at all, go to Catholic mass …
    and so on.
Also, never underestimate the influence of both families trying to pull them one way or another. Furthermore, the fact that the first marriage did not work out for her should be a red flag for the Catholic part.
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I 100% agree. This is why when I met a wonderful GO man, who I really, really like and could definitely have dated and probably married, he and I talked about it and decided although we really liked each other we would NOT pursue dating because we both saw the inevitable conflict and didn’t want to go there.

He was Greek all the way, and his family was all up in his life-- in fact he lived at home, as did his other brothers, and was part of the family business. We are talking My Big Fat Greek Wedding. LOVELY people, but you have to be all in when you marry into the Greek culture and GO church.

I knew I couldn’t do it. I wanted to raise my children Catholic. He knew he couldn’t do that. So we did the mature thing and stopped it before it started. It was SO difficult to do that… and yet, it was 100% the right thing to do for us.
 
Thank you all the answers.
My friend is a mature woman, and biologically we are not sure if the good Lord will bless her with any children at her age. If he did, they are both rather open to raising any children in both churches. Neither party is especially religious, although he does go to church.

For her and her family, the Greek church is something that gets trotted out at holidays.
And then only if they are in Cyprus. There isn’t any GO activity in the area where she lives, No church on the corner, she’d have to go all the way to London to attend. She’s been independent for many years now, of her family.

I don’t think there will be any conflict with the families, and if so I would think that she would be fine with the Roman church. This is the U.K. Remember, no one very religious.

Thank you again for the warnings and responses. I’ll let her know about the conflicts others have run into. And their solutions. Being prepared is always a good thing.
 
@1ke: Seems you made a hard but wise decision.
@Deltadeliquent: All the best for your girlfriend and her potential husband.
 
Constantin said:
@1ke: Seems you made a hard but wise decision.
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Just about the only mature decision I ever made in a dating relationship. 😉

It really stunk at the time. I know, though, that it was the right thing to do. And I wouldn’t trade my now-husband for anything. Love this wonderful Catholic man.

But I also know Catholic-GO marriages that have been successful. I’m not saying “don’t” but rather, “think”. I just knew in my heart it wasn’t right for me.
 
1ke said:
Just about the only mature decision I ever made in a dating relationship. 😉

It really stunk at the time. I know, though, that it was the right thing to do. And I wouldn’t trade my now-husband for anything. Love this wonderful Catholic man.

But I also know Catholic-GO marriages that have been successful. I’m not saying “don’t” but rather, “think”. I just knew in my heart it wasn’t right for me.
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I very much hope Catholic-Orthodox marriages can work! 😃
It is just much harder, things that are understood for marriages between Catholics have to be fought over. But in the case of Deltadeliquent’s girlfriend, it may paradoxically mean an advantage that both are not that serious about their faith. From what she wrote, there should be little concern.
 
I think he is a bit more serious than she is.
BUT…
What better doorway to true belief than a beautiful wedding in a church, and a marriage with a Catholic! You never know what will happen…

Thanks everyone.
 
I have a question. I have a friend who is getting married sometime within the next few years, and he and his girlfriend are both Russian Orthodox. As a Catholic, am I barred from attending the wedding?
 
Samwise21 said:
I have a question. I have a friend who is getting married sometime within the next few years, and he and his girlfriend are both Russian Orthodox. As a Catholic, am I barred from attending the wedding?
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Goodness, no. Even Protestants are allowed to attend Russian Orthodox weddings! Even atheists! They don’t check religious credentials.

Or were you asking whether the Catholic Church would disapprove of your attendance at an Orthodox wedding? I’ll leave that to other Catholics to answer.
 
heidi_storage said:
Goodness, no. Even Protestants are allowed to attend Russian Orthodox weddings! Even atheists! They don’t check religious credentials.

Or were you asking whether the Catholic Church would disapprove of your attendance at an Orthodox wedding? I’ll leave that to other Catholics to answer.
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Yes, that is what I am asking.
 
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