Need advice for a friend whose father is dying.

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AwaitingHeaven

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A friend of mine found out that his father has cancer of the pancreas. Tumors are all over the place and the doctors gave him 3-6 months to live. Realistically, he will be lucky to make it to 3 months.

My friend is not a religious guy. In fact, at one point, I think he was agnostic.

In our last conversation, he mentioned that he feels that he should get his kids baptized and enrolled in CCD (this was shocking for me to here)! I think the fact that his father is dying is making him realize his own mortality and that things of this world are passing away.

Concerning my friend’s father, what should I advise? I don’t think that they have been practicing their faith. Should I ask my friend if his father has talked to a priest?
 
If he is openly discussing religion with you concerning his children, I feel that it would be appropriate and Ok to mention a priest visiting his father. The priest can visit him to answer questions, for comfort, for company, and/or for many reasons. And…if his father is open to it, for his soul.

I think you should do this; the worst that he will say is no.

My prayers for you and this entire situation. My father passed away 5 years ago from cancer as well; it’s a disease that takes its toll on all involved. They have my sympathy.

Lisa
 
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AwaitingHeaven:
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Concerning my friend’s father, what should I advise? I don’t think that they have been practicing their faith. Should I ask my friend if his father has talked to a priest?
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you should ask him if his father is Catholic and remind him that if so it would be a great kindness and service to call a priest for him, do it right away, don’t wait, if the father is Catholic he deserves the consolation of the sacraments during this time. If the father is a member of any other religion he should have the chance to meet with a minister, rabbi etc. That is simply courtesy, respect and kindness.

If your friend asks, or seems open, just offer brief, quiet Catholic view that God welcomes his father, is present with him in his suffering and at the moment of death, and that you are praying for his father and the family.
 
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Lischou:
If he is openly discussing religion with you concerning his children, I feel that it would be appropriate and Ok to mention a priest visiting his father. The priest can visit him to answer questions, for comfort, for company, and/or for many reasons. And…if his father is open to it, for his soul.

I think you should do this; the worst that he will say is no.

My prayers for you and this entire situation. My father passed away 5 years ago from cancer as well; it’s a disease that takes its toll on all involved. They have my sympathy.

Lisa
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I could not agree more!

Brad
 
I would give your friend a miraculous medal (you may want to have it blessed beforehand) and tell him to give it to his father, and then mention that you will keep his father in your prayers.

Everyone appreciates prayers, and folks have been know to have been cured even folks who do not believe in faith or religion.
 
Thanks to all for your prayers and suggestions. I will give my friend a call tonight and will let you all know how it goes.

I welcome any further insights.
 
In additon to whats been said just be a pal, be there you dont even need to say much, he just needs to know your there now and afterwards.
 
Just a quick update on how things are going.

I spoke to my buddy (Bob) about having a priest come to talk to his father. I told him that I would be happy to make all the arrangements for him too. He was appreciative, but uncertain how his father would react. He left it that he wanted to talk it over with his mom and think about it a little.

Afterwards, I spoke to my good friend and priest about the situation. Bob knows of my priest friend (Fr. Dan). Fr. Dan offered to speak to Bob if he wants (Bob will need to call him). I sent Bob an email telling him this and a few other things. I told Bob that Fr. Dan can help him, but it won’t be easy. In fact, some of the things he (Fr. Dan) will say may be tough.

In closing, I told Bob that I would be offering up a Holy Hour for him and his father at 3AM in the morning tonight. I told him that Fr. Dan challenged me to do it and said that he would do it too (so, as I said to Bob, ‘see, he may tell you to do some tough things’).

Anyway, hopefully that will inspire him to call. It is all in the Lord’s hands.

I’ll keep you all posted.

Also, I was curious about the book ‘Fatherloss’. Is this book appropriate for someone who’s father is dying or is it really for someone who has lost their father?
 
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