Need Advice for Issue with a Friend

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EqualinHim

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Hi. I’m a person with a rather interesting situation. Most of you guys know that I am a Protestant young woman, just by looking at my profile. I have family members and close friends who are Catholic. One of my closest friends is a Catholic (along with her hubby), my grandmother was Catholic, my great aunt was a Franciscan sister, and many of my extended family members are Catholics. Recently I ran into issues where a friend of mine, who is reformed Baptist, started posting very nasty things about the Pope and Catholics in general. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he ought to be more charitable and ecumenical. I felt a deep sense of hurt because I felt as if he were personally attacking my loved ones. I get kind of crazily defensive about my loved ones. My grandmother (Catholic) is someone that I looked up to a lot because of her patience, wisdom, and faith. My best friend is my constant shoulder, a wise counselor, and a brilliant theology student who shares her faith with everyone she comes across. So I was quite hurt by some of the insults that my reformed friend threw at the church. He called Catholics “whores of Babylon”, “papists”, etc. He intimated that they weren’t ‘real Christians’ and had been deceived by Satan. My grandmother bore the witness of Christ and so does my best friend, and in a more profound way than most Protestants do.

My question is, what should I do about the situation? When is it appropriate to cut someone out of your life? He apologized and said that he was sorry if the attacks seemed personal but it was still weird because of how aggressive he was. As a non-catholic friend/relative of Catholics, I feel like I’m often caught in the crossfire between the more extreme elements of each side.

Also, is there any time where anyone on this board has had to be the bridge between Catholic and non-Catholic friends/family members?
 
Welcome. I would accept his apology as long as he stops doing this. He should really write and post a public apology on his page.

If he continues to behave this way, I would stay away from him. Other people might disagree with me, saying to keep the friendship as an opportunity to teach him what we truly believe.

May God bless you abundantly.
 
Catholics are used to this type of stuff if they are on non Catholic Internet forums and sometimes just in general. It doesn’t bother me as it once did as often sadly people are taught this in their youth or in even as adults in anti Catholic denominations.

Matthew 5:

**11“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
**
**

If he is this aggressive in his anti Catholic postings then I might think at this time he is not really open to any thoughts from Catholics.

If was open to hearing the Catholic point of view (which this aggressive posting to me suggests he is not) ask a Catholic friend that likes to do so if they would speak with him.
There are Catholics that are good at doing this if he just does not want to attack Catholicism but is open to learning.

If he is not, I personally would not associate with him or anyone with t hat type of aggressive hatred in their heart for anyone.

JMO

I hope you can keep your friendship and maybe he will realize that those words can be hurtful to those who know and care about Catholics and Catholics as well that are not so “thick skinned.”

God bless,

Mary.
 
I have been in a prolonged debate with a Protestant relative, and that person tends to duck the issues I raise and chooses to attack me personally and to attack Catholics in general.

There has been a lot of hostility in both sides of my family, over the years. I’ve been in the crossfire, just by being alive, and Catholic at that.
 
I think you did the right thing by telling him what you thought of his post. Perhaps you could tell him that instead of focusing on the differences between Christian faiths, he should focus on the oneness in Christ that we share.
It sounds like he may need to do a BIT of research if he thinks Catholics are not Christians. 🤷

I spoke with a woman who said a family member at a funeral was going on about how Catholics don’t use the Bible. Hmm??? Each Mass has 3 bible readings!!! 🤷
 
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off in such a snarky way.😊 I agree with Jaimeleglise’s response!!! 🙂
Peace and all good!
 
In the last couple months I’ve been to two funerals of friends who belonged to a pretty extreme anabaptist church. There was nothing in either funeral service that I, a Catholic, found objectionable or even questionable. The only quibble would be a sort of general understanding that they are all going to Heaven, but I find that far superior to an assumption that we’re all going to Hell!

But I suspect that if I asked any of these people, who are extremely good people in general, and not just “religious,” what they thought of Catholics, I would have gotten some very negative feedback.

And yet we share so many of the same beliefs that I could attend their funerals and feel perfectly comfortable with their songs, prayers, etc.

I think the problem is ignorance. But of course arguing with a person is rarely going to solve that unless they are open to logic. Asking them to read a book is probably futile. Telling them to look at certain people as examples might not work because they could always say they are phoney or just putting on a show (i.e., the Pope). I don’t have an answer, but the closest I can come is thinking that more communication at the top–with the minister–is the answer. If the minister was convinced that Catholics aren’t the spawn of Satan, he could be a convincing messenger to his church.
 
Unless ministers is where he’s getting these false statements from. Wouldn’t hurt to find out if it’s the denomination teaching such things or the individual “discovering” it for himself.
 
EqualinHim said:
Hi. I’m a person with a rather interesting situation. Most of you guys know that I am a Protestant young woman, just by looking at my profile. I have family members and close friends who are Catholic. One of my closest friends is a Catholic (along with her hubby), my grandmother was Catholic, my great aunt was a Franciscan sister, and many of my extended family members are Catholics. Recently I ran into issues where a friend of mine, who is reformed Baptist, started posting very nasty things about the Pope and Catholics in general. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he ought to be more charitable and ecumenical. I felt a deep sense of hurt because I felt as if he were personally attacking my loved ones. I get kind of crazily defensive about my loved ones. My grandmother (Catholic) is someone that I looked up to a lot because of her patience, wisdom, and faith. My best friend is my constant shoulder, a wise counselor, and a brilliant theology student who shares her faith with everyone she comes across. So I was quite hurt by some of the insults that my reformed friend threw at the church. He called Catholics “whores of Babylon”, “papists”, etc. He intimated that they weren’t ‘real Christians’ and had been deceived by Satan. My grandmother bore the witness of Christ and so does my best friend, and in a more profound way than most Protestants do.

My question is, what should I do about the situation? When is it appropriate to cut someone out of your life? He apologized and said that he was sorry if the attacks seemed personal but it was still weird because of how aggressive he was. As a non-catholic friend/relative of Catholics, I feel like I’m often caught in the crossfire between the more extreme elements of each side.

Also, is there any time where anyone on this board has had to be the bridge between Catholic and non-Catholic friends/family members?
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Apologies should always be accepted. But know that predisposition is there in your friend

And yes, I had a family member who got into a religious group who was hugely anti Catholic. It wasn’t easy to turn that person around. What ultimately did it though, was the history of direct charity we showed his family since he was a very young child. When his leaders started to work on him, he realized what they were saying wasn’t true. And he couldn’t maintain his association. He ultimately became a great Catholic
 
steve_b said:
Apologies should always be accepted. But know that predisposition is there in your friend

And yes, I had a family member who got into a religious group who was hugely anti Catholic. It wasn’t easy to turn that person around. What ultimately did it though, was the history of direct charity we showed his family since he was a very young child. When his leaders started to work on him, he realized what they were saying wasn’t true. And he couldn’t maintain his association. He ultimately became a great Catholic
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This^^^

Also, if he doesn’t sincerely apologize, just walk away. Too often we give people permission to behave badly by not every have in a consequence for their poor choice of words. When he finds himself without an audience, the nasty rhetoric will cease. You may be doing him a favor by not accepting it.
Something to think about, anyway.
 
He’s sorry if the attacks seemed personal. He’s not sorry about the attacks themselves. And he will do it again, just FYI. The people who believe those things are full of hate, not Christian love. They are ignorant bigots masquerading as evangelists. And you cannot reason with them. At all.

You can ignore or hide them on FB.

But really, life is too short to work on maintaining a friendship with someone who disrespects you and others.

I’d personally move on.
 
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