A
Anonymous911
Guest
Before I begin!! - I have thought about everything over and over so don’t worry about warning me of the consequences and how this is life changing etc. I have thought about it all 
Ok so my parents and I are having major problems because they’re not willing to accept the man I love nor offer us their blessings to get married. I’m 21, and he’s 22. I’m studying to be a doctor and he’s a professional athlete. I come from a strict family, middle eastern background, devoted catholics - but my parents only care about their own happiness never considering mine and their reputation as they have upheld it. The guy I’ve been dating (for 16 months now - still together after everything) is African and also a devoted catholic. So in terms of religion, nothing is imbalanced and I’m very happy, because I would never date outside my religion as it is most important to me. As for dating outside culture, that obviously does not worry me at all, as long as we believe in one God, one way.
I told my parents 4 months ago about my boyfriend. Mind you, this was the most difficult period in my life, having to open up about a male and break that barrier with them. They were in COMPLETE shock, they cried, they downgraded me, they were VERY racist which seemed to be very unchristian of them - all to just turn me off this man and make me ‘forget’ about him. They downgraded his culture and the people, absolutely everything which was quite sickening and actually made me lose respect for my own parents. 4 months later and I’m still sitting here being downgraded for even loving a man with a different skin colour, simply because they will NEVER accept him. They refused to meet him too. We broke up a week after I told my parents about him. Running away was NEVER an option for either one of us. He couldn’t handle it anymore, he couldn’t handle the racism and the way they were treating him. I couldn’t handle the verbal and physical abuse also, and so we ended this amazing love we had built in a period of year. After so much heartache, tears, and abuse (well on my side) a few weeks after breaking up, we obviously still felt the same for each other and realised that being apart was beyond heart crushing. Most will say one year is not enough to know if you want to marry someone. I say, love is timeless. No amount of time can define how much you love someone. Just like no amount of time can determine how long it takes to build your dreams. So we started dating again, but this time, it wasn’t happy days everyday, it has been the hardest period in both our lives till this day and I’m sure many more to come. My parents think we aren’t together anymore, yet are still very suspicious. I have spoken to him about running away, and as bad as it is, we have agreed that it is the only way to ever be together because my parents will NEVER offer their blessings. And I quote from my mother and father “not now, not in a million years, not even when you’re dead, we will never accept this.” Pretty cruel right? Not something my religion teaches to practice.
The worst thing is, they are so contradictive in everything they say. They claim they are christians and tell me to pray asking Jesus for forgiveness and to lead me in the right path and away from the devil and evil (my relationship)… yet they don’t realise that they are in the wrong. My boyfriend and I have nothing but good intentions. I am saving sex for marriage as I believe it will bless a marriage and I have always told myself from a very young age that I want to save that for God. My boyfriend respects that and has intentions of proposing if I choose to be with him forever.
I love my parents, and I appreciate all they have done for me and I want to repay them with my life. But why must they be so cruel. All I am doing is loving, a man who is paying me with his life and likewise am I. He is no murderer, no drug dealer, no user. So what difference does it make. Why does skin colour have to draw the line between acceptance and refusal? It is a harsh world we live in.
I have even decided to speak to a priest for advice. I understand running away isn’t the best option, but is it the right one for me? They will never accept, and I just want to know, from a catholic point of view… What would Jesus say? Am I in the wrong for loving a man and lying to my parents and possibly leaving them in the end for my future husband? Is it wrong to love a man of different skin colour? Am I sinning by running away? My parents will lose their reputation and say they will suffer if I ever leave them. They put all the blame on me to make me feel bad. They do not care for my happiness. They have even threatened to kill me if I marry him.
There is so much more to the story I haven’t added, but I guess that is a wrap. I cannot express how difficult this is for me, I cannot let him go, and the only option is to run away… Any help would be great
God bless!!
Ok so my parents and I are having major problems because they’re not willing to accept the man I love nor offer us their blessings to get married. I’m 21, and he’s 22. I’m studying to be a doctor and he’s a professional athlete. I come from a strict family, middle eastern background, devoted catholics - but my parents only care about their own happiness never considering mine and their reputation as they have upheld it. The guy I’ve been dating (for 16 months now - still together after everything) is African and also a devoted catholic. So in terms of religion, nothing is imbalanced and I’m very happy, because I would never date outside my religion as it is most important to me. As for dating outside culture, that obviously does not worry me at all, as long as we believe in one God, one way.
I told my parents 4 months ago about my boyfriend. Mind you, this was the most difficult period in my life, having to open up about a male and break that barrier with them. They were in COMPLETE shock, they cried, they downgraded me, they were VERY racist which seemed to be very unchristian of them - all to just turn me off this man and make me ‘forget’ about him. They downgraded his culture and the people, absolutely everything which was quite sickening and actually made me lose respect for my own parents. 4 months later and I’m still sitting here being downgraded for even loving a man with a different skin colour, simply because they will NEVER accept him. They refused to meet him too. We broke up a week after I told my parents about him. Running away was NEVER an option for either one of us. He couldn’t handle it anymore, he couldn’t handle the racism and the way they were treating him. I couldn’t handle the verbal and physical abuse also, and so we ended this amazing love we had built in a period of year. After so much heartache, tears, and abuse (well on my side) a few weeks after breaking up, we obviously still felt the same for each other and realised that being apart was beyond heart crushing. Most will say one year is not enough to know if you want to marry someone. I say, love is timeless. No amount of time can define how much you love someone. Just like no amount of time can determine how long it takes to build your dreams. So we started dating again, but this time, it wasn’t happy days everyday, it has been the hardest period in both our lives till this day and I’m sure many more to come. My parents think we aren’t together anymore, yet are still very suspicious. I have spoken to him about running away, and as bad as it is, we have agreed that it is the only way to ever be together because my parents will NEVER offer their blessings. And I quote from my mother and father “not now, not in a million years, not even when you’re dead, we will never accept this.” Pretty cruel right? Not something my religion teaches to practice.
The worst thing is, they are so contradictive in everything they say. They claim they are christians and tell me to pray asking Jesus for forgiveness and to lead me in the right path and away from the devil and evil (my relationship)… yet they don’t realise that they are in the wrong. My boyfriend and I have nothing but good intentions. I am saving sex for marriage as I believe it will bless a marriage and I have always told myself from a very young age that I want to save that for God. My boyfriend respects that and has intentions of proposing if I choose to be with him forever.
I love my parents, and I appreciate all they have done for me and I want to repay them with my life. But why must they be so cruel. All I am doing is loving, a man who is paying me with his life and likewise am I. He is no murderer, no drug dealer, no user. So what difference does it make. Why does skin colour have to draw the line between acceptance and refusal? It is a harsh world we live in.
I have even decided to speak to a priest for advice. I understand running away isn’t the best option, but is it the right one for me? They will never accept, and I just want to know, from a catholic point of view… What would Jesus say? Am I in the wrong for loving a man and lying to my parents and possibly leaving them in the end for my future husband? Is it wrong to love a man of different skin colour? Am I sinning by running away? My parents will lose their reputation and say they will suffer if I ever leave them. They put all the blame on me to make me feel bad. They do not care for my happiness. They have even threatened to kill me if I marry him.
There is so much more to the story I haven’t added, but I guess that is a wrap. I cannot express how difficult this is for me, I cannot let him go, and the only option is to run away… Any help would be great
God bless!!