Need Advice on Annulment!

[ComputerGeek25]

What exactly do you have an issue with? You came here asking for advice - we gave it to you. You don’t like what you are hearing, so you run away? You can’t expect to deal in a healthy way with bad news if this is how you are reacting to GOOD and ACCURATE advise (that you asked for) on the most Catholic forum on the internet.

We ARE trying to help you. You just don’t seem to want to hear anything.



~Liza

The Church takes Sacramental matters very seriously, since they were instituted by Christ himself.

The advice may come across as blunt or “judgemental.” Since these are matters of the soul, better to err on the side of caution and prudence.

 

[YourWillBeDone]

Joe,

Thank you so much for your compassion… it is people like you that demonstrate the true values of Christianity.

Liza,

I am removing myself from the forum because I think I’ll stick with seeking advice from Jesus through prayer and adoration, and also seeking the advice of my priest, who is more of an expert on religion than the lay people on this forum.

I posted in haste… maybe hoping to talk to others going through the same thing as me, but now I realize that I shouldn’t have posted. Not because of the repsonses, but because I now want to keep my personal trial… just that… personal.

Therefore, I take it back. I will stick with Jesus’ mercy and comfort. He is the only one who knows our true hearts, and the only one who knows the full extent of each of our situation, and therefore, the only one who can judge.

Thank you.

 

[agapewolf]

Joe,

Thank you so much for your compassion… it is people like you that demonstrate the true values of Christianity.

Liza,

I am removing myself from the forum because I think I’ll stick with seeking advice from Jesus through prayer and adoration, and also seeking the advice of my priest, who is more of an expert on religion than the lay people on this forum.

I posted in haste… maybe hoping to talk to others going through the same thing as me, but now I realize that I shouldn’t have posted. Not because of the repsonses, but because I now want to keep my personal trial… just that… personal.

Therefore, I take it back. I will stick with Jesus’ mercy and comfort. He is the only one who knows our true hearts, and the only one who knows the full extent of each of our situation, and therefore, the only one who can judge.

Thank you.

No one judged you…as in… condemned your soul.

However, people are making accurate and objective assesments of behavior, based on what you are telling us. You cannot have a “fiance” that is still presumed to be married. This is based on facts presented by you. Telling someone who steals that “stealing is wrong” is not “judging” their soul. Telling someone that they are “engaged” to someone who is still married and that is wrong is not judging, it is out of concern for your soul.

 

[lizaanne]

I will stick with Jesus’ mercy and comfort. He is the only one who knows our true hearts, and the only one who knows the full extent of each of our situation, and therefore, the only one who can judge.

Thank you.

Keep in mind that Jesus left us His Church for a reason. Yes, he does know our hearts. But He also knows we are human, and we need human assistance here on earth to help us to live good and holy lives. We are only trying to help you understand what that entails.

And yes - the Church CAN judge. “What is bound on earth is bound in heaven”. I didn’t say that - Jesus did. He was talking about His Church.

~Liza

 

[YourWillBeDone]

You are absolutely right… Jesus did give us His Church…

That is exactly why we are petitioning for an annulment with the Tribunal… because we are putting the matter in the Church’s hands to decide something that we, as humans, do not have the power to decide.

That is why we are being respectful of the process, and we are waiting and we are praying.

We HAVE fully talked about the decision and all of the possiblities/ possible outcomes. We HAVE talked with a priest about our situation.

If we didn’t respect the Church and it’s decision, we would not even be petitioning for the annulment in order to receive a true decision from God before we move forward with our relationship.

Like I said earlier, I was simply hoping to see if any others had experienced similar situations with the tribunal… that is all. I did not post to indicate that I didn’t understand the process, didn’t understand my moral obligations, etc.

I wish there was an easy way for people to delete their own threads around here, but there is not… so I guess I stand with my foot in my mouth for speaking up.

 

[lizaanne]

…but there is not… so I guess I stand with my foot in my mouth for speaking up.

Please don’t feel that way - we have only been trying to help you.

But you have to understand that when you ask a bunch of Faithful Catholics what to do about your fiance who is looking for an annulment, you are going to ruffle some feathers!!

Your original post was about frustration with the process - we told you to be patient. We also told you we are concerned about your soul should his marriage be found valid.

You didn’t do anything wrong in coming here - many people ask questions like this all the time. But it is our duty as Catholics to ensure you are properly informed - and since we don’t know every single detail about your life, we make assumptions, erring on the side of caution.

Stick around - we aren’t all that bad.

~Liza

 

[ComputerGeek25]

You are absolutely right… Jesus did give us His Church…

That is exactly why we are petitioning for an annulment with the Tribunal… because we are putting the matter in the Church’s hands to decide something that we, as humans, do not have the power to decide.

That is why we are being respectful of the process, and we are waiting and we are praying.

We HAVE fully talked about the decision and all of the possiblities/ possible outcomes. We HAVE talked with a priest about our situation.

If we didn’t respect the Church and it’s decision, we would not even be petitioning for the annulment in order to receive a true decision from God before we move forward with our relationship.

Like I said earlier, I was simply hoping to see if any others had experienced similar situations with the tribunal… that is all. I did not post to indicate that I didn’t understand the process, didn’t understand my moral obligations, etc.

I wish there was an easy way for people to delete their own threads around here, but there is not… so I guess I stand with my foot in my mouth for speaking up.

The process could take at least 18-24 months from what I read and heard.

I don’t think there is any fast track, unless you have a “lack of form.”

As I said earlier, the tribunal wants to dot every I and cross every T.

It is what it is, I guess.

Also, you may want to prepare for the worst, and that your fiance may not have his previous marriage annulled. This is also one of the angles where I was coming from (and possibly others) were coming from in this thread.

 

[Mayita30]

=

You are absolutely right… Jesus did give us His Church…

That is exactly why we are petitioning for an annulment with the Tribunal… because we are putting the matter in the Church’s hands to decide something that we, as humans, do not have the power to decide.

That is why we are being respectful of the process, and we are waiting and we are praying.

We HAVE fully talked about the decision and all of the possiblities/ possible outcomes. We HAVE talked with a priest about our situation.

If we didn’t respect the Church and it’s decision, we would not even be petitioning for the annulment in order to receive a true decision from God before we move forward with our relationship.

Like I said earlier, I was simply hoping to see if any others had experienced similar situations with the tribunal… that is all. I did not post to indicate that I didn’t understand the process, didn’t understand my moral obligations, etc.

I wish there was an easy way for people to delete their own threads around here, but there is not… so I guess I stand with my foot in my mouth for speaking up.

==========================================
Hi YourWillBeDone:

Just wanted to say that people have been quite frank with you. I don’t think they mean you any harm. Just curious, what will you do if the Church finds the marriage of this man to be Valid?? He still is indeed a married man.
I know you are in love with him, but you have decided to let it go that far. Anyway , we are just here to listen to you. You can’t do anything about your past. All you can do is to correct your future…

Sorry if I have said some things which might have insulted you in this posts. I make it clear that it is not my intention. All of us go through trials in life. This maybe just one of your crosses! God bless

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

And to the others… I am considering not posting to this forum anymore, if I can only get judgemental responses… instead of realistic, and compassionate adivce.

Does anyone out there have that?

I hope things start moving along faster for you. However, from what I understand–annulments take time. They want to make sure they have it right. And to allow for healing to happen. It sounds like there were some problems–however you are dealing with humans who may have things happening in their lives as well that we may not always know about. Emotionally you might want to think about what you will do if it’s denied…

I know patience is not always easy–BELIEVE ME I KNOW! My husband is so anxious to receive communion and yet he has to go through RCIA and won’t be able to until next Easter Vigil. But in the end it will be the best for him.

My prayers are with you,

 

[micahmike]

Please don’t feel that way - we have only been trying to help you.

But you have to understand that when you ask a bunch of Faithful Catholics what to do about your fiance who is looking for an annulment, you are going to ruffle some feathers!!

Your original post was about frustration with the process - we told you to be patient. We also told you we are concerned about your soul should his marriage be found valid.

You didn’t do anything wrong in coming here - many people ask questions like this all the time. But it is our duty as Catholics to ensure you are properly informed - and since we don’t know every single detail about your life, we make assumptions, erring on the side of caution.

Stick around - we aren’t all that bad.

~Liza