Need advice on meeting girlfriend's Church of Nazarene Pastor grandfather who doesn't like Catholics

[Tacticus]

Hello! I’m in need of some advice regarding my girlfriends family.
I am going with her this Christmas to see her family out of state for the first time, it will be about a week that I will be there.
She is from the Church of the Nazarene ( I know some of their stuff, but she isn’t very active) and knows I’m Catholic, she doesn’t understand everything about it, but is very loving and supportive of it, and even helped me get back into it.
However, her mother’s side of the family, especially her grandfather is not so accepting of it. Her grandfather is a Pastor for their church where they live, and has told her numerous occasions ever since we started dating that she should not date me or marry me (we’ve talked about it and have figured out everything) if I’m a Catholic (that essentially we aren’t Christian, practice Witchcraft, cannibals, etc.) How should I prepare for this?
I’m worried because her family means so much to her but I cannot stand someone insulting me because of my religious beliefs. According to her he is very well read on the Bible and may try to argue me about everything while I am there.
To note my girlfriend isn’t like her grandfather, even if we have argued over religious beliefs on occasion, and how we are to raise children if we got married, she has never said anything to me and does not seem like someone who thinks that (seeing as we have been together for 2 years now).

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Holy Moley Family Drama.

When you marry someone, you marry their family.

This sounds like a terrible situation. If everyone lets the grandfather run riot over new people this will not change.

Maybe it’s all fine and dandy to you, but what happens when you do get married and have little children. You think she’s really going to allow them to never meet her family? You think that they will not hold their tounges?

I was very young when I was exposed to 7th Day Adventists. They thought I was going to hell for being a Catholic and the adults weren’t afraid to tell me, either, with more fire and vigor than their children did. It was terrible. And they were not my family.

I would recommend professional counseling to deal with this. You are entering dangerous territory and considering bringing children into the world who would be subject to this behavior.

 

[Tacticus]

I’ve never thought of it like that. I’m almost 25 but this is the first person I thought about with marriage. She is okay with the kids going to my church and getting baptized as Catholics. I mean she’s critical of certain aspects, but understands that its important to me. Would that make a difference at all?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I’ve never thought of it like that. I’m almost 25 but this is the first person I thought about with marriage. She is okay with the kids going to my church and getting baptized as Catholics. I mean she’s critical of certain aspects, but understands that its important to me. Would that make a difference at all?

Unfortunately, people who are abusive rarely change. They are especially unlikely to change if the person whom they are targeting has little power in family dynamics. The issue here is that she is close to a family that she knows is going to mistreat you. This is why I suggest professional help. The fault may lie with her family, or her, or maybe no one’s. But you are walking into a lion’s den and it isn’t going to be pretty.

 

[masuwerte1]

How old is Grandpa? He won’t be around forever. Are the rest of the family okay?

 

[1ke]

It is up to your girlfriend to tell her family that you are a guest and we are not rude to guests, we do not insult them or pepper them with questions. We do not talk about or disparage them or their religion. We stick to topics that are neutral and respectful.

If she cannot (a) lay these ground rules down and (b) enforce them while there and/or (c her family members violate the boundaries repeatedly, then think twice about marrying her.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

Wow. If you decide to go I wouldn’t engage in any religious discussion at all. None. But be prepared to suffer all week long if they attack you. If you don’t engage with them you’ll have a better idea of what your dealing with, and how you and your girlfriend will need to maneuver if you do decide to get married.

The ‘whether you should marry her or not’ is a whole different set of considerations from your immediate concern regarding your visit with her family this Christmas.