Need advice re: newborn and pets

[petesgottheseat]

Gam3chic - I totally understand what you’re going through. It’s not an easy decision, but you have to do what you feel is right for your family. I just had a baby, and it’s so hard taking care of the baby and the fur-babies. We have one shih-tzu dog and 4 persian cats. We suffered from infertility, so the fur-babies were our “babies”. But now that God granted us our one miracle, well, the fur-babies haven’t been getting the same amount of attention as they used to. We put the cats in one room and DH goes in there once a day to clean and make sure there is plenty of food and water. Other than that, they’re on their own. But it’s a really nice room - they can sit on the windowsill looking out, play with their many floor toys, play/rest/hide in their cat furniture, etc. The dog, on the other hand, gets to be out with us. But my goodness, the chores are neverending! There was one point where I want to give the cats back to the breeder (she said if there ever comes a time where we couldn’t take care of them anymore, she’d want us to give them back to her instead of giving them to anyone else). But I know that I will miss them terribly, but I did entertain the idea. As much as I’d want to give away the dog, I just can’t. She’s been with us the longest - this year will be 9 years. I wish I could just give them away (to good homes of course) but I can’t. Ugh. It’s sooooo hard taking care of pets!! I hope it gets easier for you…

Linda

 

[RobnBobA1]

Hey all,

I am a brand new mom that has 2 dogs as well. Before I had my baby my dogs were my best friends and kept me company on days that I was home and DH was gone all day. Now that I have a baby, I find that I have absolutely no time for the dogs and they are wanting attention so badly! They are springer spaniels and if you know anything about the breed is that they are energetic dogs and require attention, play time, etc daily to be happy. Well, it just ain’t happening anymore and the one dog in particular is starting to act out because I think he is bored and unhappy.

I dunno what to do but I think I need to find them new homes. I’m always angry at them because they are always in my way (I think they are looking for attention) and not to sound silly, but they are so dirty! I never really cared about how dirty they make the house (they shed quite a bit and the one dog always is dragging in mud b/c he likes to dig in the dirt) but now with a newborn my eyes are suddenly opened to all the hairballs and dirt on the floors and I think when my baby gets to crawling, cruising, walking, etc, I don’t want the house being this filthy!!! I know what you are thinking, just keep the house clean, but I’m gonna be brutally honest, I HATE cleaning and will never keep up with the housework. Period. I thought I would once I had a baby, but the truth is sinking in and I know myself and it just ain’t happening. I’m lucky to keep up on the laundry let alone dust and vacuum.

So DH and I are asking around to see if anyone wants them. I’m kinda worried that after a while I will miss them terribly and will have made a huge mistake. They are very good dogs and are wonderful around the baby, but they are a handful themselves to be quite honest!!! Should I find them a new home? Has anyone else experienced this or have any (name removed by moderator)ut?? Thanks!!

ETA: we have been leaving the dogs with my father-in-law lately and I have to say I LOVE it when they are not home. I enjoy the quiet (one dog has a nasty habit of barking all the time at the slightest sound and would keep waking the baby up) and not having to worry about tripping over one of them constantly.

For the OP. On an personal note i have to say I disagree with your philosophy. While your dogs are certainly more enegergetic that my own (purebred English bulldogs that are GREAT with children by the way and very protective) I feel that when you take a dog or any pet into your home that they are a part of your family (this is excluding dogs that turn vicious and physically threaten yours or anothers life/health) for all the good and the bad. As long as your dogs are gentle around the infant and later when it is a toddler, I see no reason to kick them out of their home and away from their family. They are very much like your other children, yes in need of care daily (feeding, letting out, bathing, cleaning up after). You take care of your child, although wiping poop off their butt is not pleasant nor is being woken in the middle of the night, but you do so anyways because that is what they need from you and your responsibility to them when you consented to bring them into your home. Is cleaning up after a pet tiring, YES…I do so every day with my 4 month old puppy. Also in realty infants and toddlers are study creatures. Certainly more fragile when younger but sturdy nontheless. How many times does a toddler fall down learning to walk or run, the get up and run again with no problems, or a slight bump or bruise? Not to say that you shouldn’t protect them form the worst injuries nor should you leave them unattended with any dog, but that is again part of your responsibility.

I am not trying to judge you, just giving my opinion for people that take on the responsibilities of pets along with their children.

 

[tapiocapudding]

I keep reading things in this thread that equate pets to children. Goodness, it’s not the same at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fur baby. But if she required a ton of time and energy and I was too busy looking after my real babies and couldn’t provide that time or energy I would not feel bad about finding her a new loving home where she could get all that time and energy and attention she needed. Yes, when we take on pets we aim to take them on for their lives. But things happen! DH got his first cat from his mother because her new baby was allergic to her and having breathing issues. DH took great care of that gorgeous kitty and she never had any issues from being rehomed. When I had to move home with my parents they couldn’t take my cat so I left her with some very capable friends (one of whom is a veterinarian) until I could take her back. And she adjusted quickly and did fine with my pals. A very active dog who doesn’t get enough attention might turn all that excess energy into destructive behaviours like digging or chewing.
Anyways gam3r I am so so sorry it fell through on you. I hope you can work something out so you’re not feeling so overwhelmed with the doggies.

 

[RobnBobA1]

I keep reading things in this thread that equate pets to children. Goodness, it’s not the same at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fur baby. But if she required a ton of time and energy and I was too busy looking after my real babies and couldn’t provide that time or energy I would not feel bad about finding her a new loving home where she could get all that time and energy and attention she needed. Yes, when we take on pets we aim to take them on for their lives. But things happen! DH got his first cat from his mother because her new baby was allergic to her and having breathing issues. DH took great care of that gorgeous kitty and she never had any issues from being rehomed. When I had to move home with my parents they couldn’t take my cat so I left her with some very capable friends (one of whom is a veterinarian) until I could take her back. And she adjusted quickly and did fine with my pals. A very active dog who doesn’t get enough attention might turn all that excess energy into destructive behaviours like digging or chewing.
Anyways gam3r I am so so sorry it fell through on you. I hope you can work something out so you’re not feeling so overwhelmed with the doggies.

I don’t think anyone here believes that pets are equal to children (equates) but that they are LIKE children and they are. Obviously your child comes first but to “toss” or give away a pet for the simple fact that they are more work that you have to take care of after a child is in my eyes bordering immoral. You would not throw away another member of your household because they are work and make messes so why a pet that has lived with you, that you consented to take the responsibility of. It is different if you would become abusive or you cannot take a pet with you to a new place…personally I make sure that with whatever apt I go to or house(rent) that I make sure that pets are accepted, even if I have to pay a pet deposit (generally a one time deposit to cover any damage that the pet may inflict on the property that you generally get back if no damage is done) becaus the pets in my household are just that…part of the family that comes with me.

If you train a pet right even with excess enegy, destructive behavior should not present itself. There are simple solutions. An infant pretty much goes with mom everywhere, so whynot take a walk everyday with the child and dogs? This gives the dog time to run around and play and introduces your child to new things. My mother watches two toddlers during the say as well as an energetic bulldog pup. She takes walks with them everyday, as little time as a half hour, to get the dog his exercise and for the children (they love the outdoors, even in winter)

Keep in mind that I am not trying to place blame or to make her feel bad, just giving my opinion as a responsibile pet owner.

 

[Phyllis_Mary]

Please don’t perpetuate the old wives tale that cats will smother a baby. When is the last time you heard “News at 11, cat kills baby” ? Pets cat help build up a child’s immune system and older pets make good companions to children. I wouldn’t recommend a small kitten or puppy for a child as much as for the safety of the pet as for the safety of the child.

If you don’t want your pet near the baby while it’s in the crib, install an inexpensive screen door on the baby’s nursery. You can still see and hear the baby but the pet can’t get in the room. When the child is older you can take the door off.

For every horror story involving dogs and children there are dozens more where a dog (or even a cat) has saved a family from harm. My friend’s cat kept crying and she followed her cat to the nursery. She picked up her baby from his crib and just as she was walking away the ceiling fixture fell down into the crib where the baby had been. Many animals have saved their people from house fires by waking them.

It’s good that the dogs found new homes where they can get the attention they deserve.

 

[monicatholic]

Obviously your child comes first but to “toss” or give away a pet for the simple fact that they are more work that you have to take care of after a child is in my eyes bordering immoral. You would not throw away another member of your household because they are work and make messes so why a pet that has lived with you, that you consented to take the responsibility of.

responsible pet ownership is a good thing. good food, fresh water, lotsa out time, big yard to run around with, vetting, heartworm pills, grooming, lotsa kid love and cuddles, socialization, training etc. does that sound like throw away mentality? no.

but when i got my dog from the rescue, i got her for life, with conditions. my dog is my pet. not my vocation.

if there was no way to prevent my little crawling baby from scooting about with a mouth full of dog fur, then well, maybe Cora’s gotta go.

it’s not been a problem with us (because I waited till our youngest was a walker before we got the dog) but if it was a problem, or anything else like that was a problem, no contest. baby wins.

gam, once i got a full blood black and tan coonhound from the humane society,. someone had paid a lot of money for that dog and then gave her up before she was a year old. i shoulda known… that dog was an extrordinary amount of work. unbelievable amount of work. my teen son was a runner and used to run that dog 4 or 5 miles every day and it still wasnt enough. the dog had a thousand times more energy than all of us combined.

it took me nearly a year of word-out and praying. but i finally found a coon hunter whose old dog was getting too old to hunt so much. that guy took Clementine out 300 nights a year. the dog was in heaven. the guy thought he won the lottery because despite all the time she was in the house, Clementine still had great tracking.

so, pray and keep the word out. i turned down more than a dozen inquiries about clementine because i knew-- if we couldnt handle her-- a homeschool family of teen athletes, then the regular joe family was going to burn out on her fast.

who knows-- by the time you find the home you want for the dogs, your baby will be toddling and the issues will be past.

(phooey on the BIL, btw.)