Need advice re: newborn and pets

[BV_in_CA]

My wife and I had a pug I our first child was born. My wife loved the pug like a child. We worked it out but it was toughest on me because I had to do everything with the dog. We then had our second child and it started to get really hard but because she loved the dog so much we still kept it. Finally, we had our thord child and we both couldn’t take the barking and taking out the dog. So my wife put our situation on craigslist and the first person to to contact us was a sign from God, seriously. They had a pug that died and they have a young pug and was looking for a companion for the young one. They were so nice and loving that we decided to let them take the pug the same day they came to look at her.

It was real hard for my wife (not so much me - I forgot how nice it is to just go to sleep without having to take the dog out) but you know what, dogs are dogs and children are your blood that you have to give your full attention to.

Don’t feel too bad. Fell happy they are in good homes.

 

[Sabda]

When a high-need baby is involved, all other outside forces are just downright exhausting – and sometimes, literally impossible to deal with. Those of us blessed with these little ones are very humbly made aware of our limits very quickly. You put your baby first; nothing less is expected of a great mom.

Not to mention some dog breeds are very high maintenance. High maintenance dogs plus a high-need baby is too much. I know when we go looking for a dog we try and stay away from breeds that are known to be high maintenance. I don’t have the energy for that type of dog.

 

[gam3rchic]

Not to mention some dog breeds are very high maintenance. High maintenance dogs plus a high-need baby is too much. I know when we go looking for a dog we try and stay away from breeds that are known to be high maintenance. I don’t have the energy for that type of dog.

I was foolish when I got my springers because I knew I would want babies but I didn’t know just how hard it would be to keep up with springers and a baby. I really underestimated how tough it is with a baby, and I had several younger siblings growing up! In this respect, I let my dogs down and feel real bad about that. My husband did try to warn me, but of course I didn’t listen.

Springers are great family dogs, they are smart, loyal and full of energy. Unfortunately with all the energy they are blessed with it’s like taking care of another kid. They require lots of play on a daily basis, they absolutely CRAVE human attention (which makes them so dang lovable though) and need lots of grooming as well because they shed and need good ear cleanings thanks to their long ears.

Motherhood, the biggest reality check a person can ever get, hands down.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Motherhood, the biggest reality check a person can ever get, hands down.

Amen.

 

[kage_ar]

Well my sister in law has agreed to take the one dog and my father in law has agreed to take the other. I’m sooooo relieved they will stay in the family after all!!! It was really breaking my heart to think of giving them away to some stranger and I was having a hard time bringing myself to that. I’m still gonna miss having them around terribly (esp the one going to my SIL, he is my buddy) but he needs a home where he can have more individual attention. He absolutely NEEDS a person to interact with, he does not like being outdoors by himself, he doesn’t like strangers, he only likes me especially and my family and he always wants someone to be near him at all times.

Thank you all for your advice, it is so appreciated!

I would very much advise you to send them TOGETHER to the same home. They do not need to lose their entire pack at once, that is too cruel. Let them keep each other.

 

[prolifewife]

I would very much advise you to send them TOGETHER to the same home. They do not need to lose their entire pack at once, that is too cruel. Let them keep each other.

I second this great advice from Kage.

Also, consider keeping them. Yeah, I’m the downer here, but seriously. You can still put baby first, and should. But trust me they would much rather stay with you, even if it means less attention. We have kept our dogs through various times of illness where I couldn’t care for them (for months at a time) and they had to spend many hours alone at times, but they still love me and look forward to the times where we have more time together. What happens when baby gets older? He won’t always require constant attention. What happens if child number 2 takes a while in coming? What happens if the child wants a dog? Just some things to consider.

My personal opinion: if the dog isn’t trying to hurt the child, you can afford to feed the dog, and if the child has no allergies, then keep the dog. Those are the only reasons to give the dog away in my opinion.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

What happens when baby gets older? He won’t always require constant attention.

High need babies grow into high need toddlers, who just keep growing into high need teens.

Gamer, you made the right decision, Hon. You really did. I know how it is to have a high need child.

 

[prolifewife]

High need babies grow into high need toddlers, who just keep growing into high need teens.

Gamer, you made the right decision, Hon. You really did. I know how it is to have a high need child.

Yes, I know special needs children well.

Even so…

I still vote to keep the dog.

Giving both dogs to one family member is the next best choice. Don’t split them up.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Yes, I know special needs children well.

Even so…

I still vote to keep the dog.

Yeah, I know you’re familiar with high need kiddos; I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. Sorry about that, Hon.

Maybe I’m reading too much into some of the posts here, but some of them sound a little condemning/insensitive, and I was trying to stick up for Gamer.

 

[tapiocapudding]

I agree with truly. I could not own a dog right now, they are so much work. even a calm one would be too much for me personally while dealing with a new baby or young toddler. I could barely find the time to cut my toenails when DS was new and he wasn’t high needs at all! I don’t think there is anything wrong in finding a pet a nice new home when you are unable to deal with them. There are times I wish I’d left my cat with my sister’s friends and she is pretty low maintenance. To me an animal is a nice companion but they are still just an animal. As long as you provide for them to have food and water and good care you are doing right by them. And if someone other than you is able to give them more attention than you are, then there is no reason to feel bad. I think animals can tell if you resent them. My cat seems to be even clingier when I feel most annoyed with her .

 

[SMHW]

It would break my heart to have to give my dogs away…

But there are times in your life that you have to be realistic. Whether or not you could have managed to take care of the dogs, you knew yourself well enough to realize that you wouldn’t take care of the dogs.

It would be ideal to have the dogs go a the same home. But it seems as if none of your relatives aren’t willing to take both. It may come to pass that you will be able to take your pets back some day. (We took in my BIL’s dog for about four years but eventually gave him back at BIL’s request.) Hopefully your relatives will allow the dogs to see each other at times.

I agree with those who say Cesar Millan gives great advice about how to train dogs but he makes it clear that dogs require time. And time is evidently something you cannot and/or will not be able to provide right now.

 

[LaLucia]

I watch the “DOG WHISPERER” show all the time. He says that dogs just care that someone is taking care of them. They can learn to love someone new. That is true for some pets.

When I was a child of 9yrs.old I thought about if my parents died… I would be truly happy if someone else took care of me. So I guess it is also true for “some” kids.

Everytime I see a lost child in a store I tell them I will take good care of them while I find their mom or dad in the store. They really calm down and get happy. They tell their parents, “That lady took care of me while looking for you”.

When my dog got a new dog sitter she wanted to go home with him after I returned from my vacation. Dogs can learn to love other people.

My dog is not crazy about her new dog sitter. She is just happy that she will be walked and fed her food. She gets real fat when I get home.lol. Plus she has learned SPANISH from her dog sitter. It is so funny that she now understands Spanish.

I love my Jack Russell terrier… but she is high maintenance like a baby. When she gets all wet and dirty I have to give her a bath. I have to clean her butt when she has poop stuck on her fur. She sheds all over the condo. She throws her toys all over the place.
She gets angry if I try to pack her toys in her toy box. She takes them all out again after I have packed them. “WHEW”.
Jack Russells are screamers. She can scream real loud when she is happy that someone is visiting us. She screams if I leave her in the condo when I go get the mail with out her.

I have had my dog for 12yrs now and I truly love her but I have to be real careful around kids because she does have a territorial problem. I don’t have kids at home so she is used to being alone with me.

Your dogs are happy that they are with relatives and being taken care of.

 

[CatholicSam]

Yep. And maybe not even then; it all depends. Because you know, kids will beg and beg for an animal, and then once the novelty wears off, it becomes harder and harder for them to hold up their end of the bargain…

Oh yes! I meant that we will *talk about *getting a dog if/when the kids really really really want one and are capable of helping out. But I know not to count on kids to do the hard work of pet care because there’s a good chance they’ll fall through. I did that to my mom when I was a kid. Although if we do get a dog or cat one day and my kids don’t do their chores (including some pet care) there will be consequences to face!

I still vote to keep the dog.

Giving both dogs to one family member is the next best choice. Don’t split them up.

I vote to do what’s best for the human baby, which is giving the dogs away to loving homes so that Mommy and Daddy aren’t frazzled, stressed, and feel guilty for not taking proper care of the dogs. Good call, Gamer!

Besides, how is keeping one dog not “splitting them up”? Don’t worry Gamer, the dogs aren’t with complete strangers, and while they might miss each other in the beginning, they will soon bond to their new owners and adjust to their new lives. Certainly a lot better than being neglected in their original home.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Certainly a lot better than being neglected in their original home.

I was gonna say the following…

I know Gamer would NEVER do any of these things, but when people can no longer care for an animal, they do things like: Take Fido & Fifi to the pound (usually a last-resort kind of thing, and not really a terrible idea if you’re desperate and have run out of options); Lock F&F in cages in the garage all day to avoid dealing with them; Abandon F&F in the forest, desert, or along the freeway/interstate to fend for themselves; Visit the vet and have F&F euthanized (or save themselves the $200 and put a couple of $0.20 bullets into F&F themselves)… All of these scenarios I’ve personally come across, while doing rescue. I mean, Gamer has arranged for her beloved pets to have good, warm, loving homes (with family, even!).

From my perspective, she achieved the ideal for her situation. Or perhaps my perspective is skewed from my rescue experience.

 

[newf]

OP, you did the RIGHT thing. Good job. A baby is a lot with 2 springers.

Dogs do not have the same needs as people. I don’t believe there is any problem splitting up your dogs into different homes. The dogs will bond with the people they are with in a short period of time.

And family members always come FIRST before the dog. My grandchildren were visiting me over the holidays for about 3 weeks and I had my 105 lb. Newfoundland dog OUT of the house for that time. She stayed at a friends home because my grandkids are too small to be trampled by my over zealous beast. I love my dog, but I love my grandkids more.

People said to me ‘oh, I can’t believe you could be without your dog for so long’… whatever. My dog had the time of her life while gone. And then when she returned here, she was also fine. Dogs are resilient.

 

[gam3rchic]

Well unfortunately my BIL managed to talk my FIL and SIL out of taking my dogs. I dunno what his deal is but it made me very angry. So I’m back to square one. Then my BIL had the guts to say he found a guy at work that would take one but he would be gone for 12 hours at a time (works 12 hour shifts) and his wife probably wouldn’t let the dog out in that time, so he wanted to know if my dog could go that long without going out. Are you kidding me??!! I might as well keep the dog at my house, he’d be less neglected. So that’s what I’m gonna do, I’m keeping my dogs till maybe someone else in the family wants them or I find someone better.

 

[spn82756]

We’ve always had dogs around our kids. Yes for the first month or two it can be challenging, but when you take on a pet, you take it on for life. Unless the dog is aggressive, it can usually be worked out.

Older siblings can be dirty, and time demanding, but you wouldn’t give one away because you had a new baby.

A little dirt won’t kill a baby, and in fact may make the baby less prone to allergies and immune problems later in life.

Exactly…we have 3 GSD’s that spend time in and out…pretty much at their will. They have been very good for our kids. (though now grown and out of the house). And a little dirt absolutely wouldn’t hurt the baby. We have a too sterile environment everywhere. That’s why we are always developing allergies and sicknesses. Our bodies never learn how to deal with the little problems.

And of course no animal should be left unattended with a baby.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Well unfortunately my BIL managed to talk my FIL and SIL out of taking my dogs. I dunno what his deal is but it made me very angry. So I’m back to square one.

:console:

That’s really rotten. Is this BIL your husband’s brother?

 

[gam3rchic]

:console:

That’s really rotten. Is this BIL your husband’s brother?

Yes and it was DH’s sister and dad that were going to take them. I dunno why he did that, I was so happy that the dogs were going to go to people they know and love. Oh well, I’m not in a huge rush so I’ll just see how it plays out for now.

 

[noclevername]

We’ve always had dogs around our kids. Yes for the first month or two it can be challenging, but **when you take on a pet, you take it on for life. **Unless the dog is aggressive, it can usually be worked out.

Older siblings can be dirty, and time demanding, but you wouldn’t give one away because you had a new baby.

A little dirt won’t kill a baby, and in fact may make the baby less prone to allergies and immune problems later in life.

If you feel you must give them a new home, please be very careful who you give them to. As suggested try to find a rescue that deals with your particular breed. It is possible that some dogs will never be good around children. If your dogs are aggressive, or show any kind of dominate behavior around the baby, they should definitely be re-homed. And of course no animal should be left unattended with a baby.

I am so glad you said this. (the bolded part). So many people think animals are a throw away item like a blender or a couch but they aren’t. They are living breathing feeling creatures and they are for life.

But I also agree with never ever leaving them alone with a child. I had the sweetest most gentle yellow lab who died two years ago at age 14 but despite is great demeanor, I would never leave him alone with kids. I know he wouldn’t have done anything but it wasn’t worth the chance.