Need advice regarding godparents

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melann78

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Hi,

I’m new to the forums and I have a dilemma I would like some advice on.

4 weeks ago, I gave birth to DH and I’s 3rd child. Our first 2 children were baptized within a couple of months of birth. For our 1st child, we chose my aunt and DH’s cousin. My aunt is a part of the child’s life and she goes to Mass every weekend. Problem is she doesn’t believe everything the Church teaches. We knew that when we chose her. We don’t know if DH’s cousin believes what the Church teaches or not, he’s Catholic though, but has only seen the child once since birth and he’s 4 now.

For our 2nd child, we chose my sister and her husband. I believe they go to Mass but I know for a fact she is on birth control.

For this child, we are at a standstill. We really, really want to choose godparents that believe 100% what the Church teaches. But, sadly between the 2 of us, our family and friends we cannot come up with any. We have friends that would probably be my first choice, but I know they are on birth control too.

How important is this? We could have DH’s mother do it as we know she is 100% faithful, but I’m not exactly comfortable with grandparents as godparents, and in this case, she’s 80 years old, so it’s not as if she will be around for a long time to guide our child in the ways of the Church.

Can someone help? Thanks!
 
It’s a very tough issue.

My wife and I are trying to have children (God willing) and we will face this same issue.

My brother-in-law is a priest, so we have one god-parent. But, neither of my sisters practice the faith, nor are we comfortable with any of our cousins.

It’s very hard in this day and age.

God Bless and good luck.
 
melann78 said:
We could have DH’s mother do it as we know she is 100% faithful, but I’m not exactly comfortable with grandparents as godparents, and in this case, she’s 80 years old, so it’s not as if she will be around for a long time to guide our child in the ways of the Church.
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Your child’s grandmother may guide him in ways we can not even imagine once she goes to her Eternal Reward.

You may ask to see if there are any couples in your church parish that might be able to fill this role for your child. It could be the start of a great relationship.
 
I think it’s more important to have someone who is active in the Church than to ask a litmus test to see if they agree 100% with the teachings. Many Catholics struggle with certain elements of Church teachings, that makes them fallable, not lesser Catholics.

I agree with you about Grandparents/Godparents. We struggled to find even someone who was active in the Church for each of our boys. Ultimately, we turned to a cousin who is very active and faith-filled to be Godmother to my youngest son.

In our culture, Godparents are deeply involved in birthdays, major milestones, so that played a factor as well.

But if you think finding Godparents is hard, how about finding guardians!
 
Congratulations on the birth of your child. As someone who prepares families and godparents for baptism, I am very happy to see that you are treating this sacrament with such reverence, in the understanding of the role of godparents. It is rare for this to happen. More often, the parents of the children we prepare are cohabitating or married civilly rather than even being married in the faith to which they profess. God bless you on this choice…remember this…your child only needs one godparent, if you are struggling to find two. It is ideal to have 2, one male and one female, but the church will accept one.
 
I agree with asking if there is someone at the church who would be a faithful role model, and maybe choosing one of your relatives to be a witness (if it is important for you to have a relative??)

Congratulations!!🙂
 
melann78 said:
Hi,

I’m new to the forums and I have a dilemma I would like some advice on.

4 weeks ago, I gave birth to DH and I’s 3rd child. Our first 2 children were baptized within a couple of months of birth. For our 1st child, we chose my aunt and DH’s cousin. My aunt is a part of the child’s life and she goes to Mass every weekend. Problem is she doesn’t believe everything the Church teaches. We knew that when we chose her. We don’t know if DH’s cousin believes what the Church teaches or not, he’s Catholic though, but has only seen the child once since birth and he’s 4 now.

For our 2nd child, we chose my sister and her husband. I believe they go to Mass but I know for a fact she is on birth control.

For this child, we are at a standstill. We really, really want to choose godparents that believe 100% what the Church teaches. But, sadly between the 2 of us, our family and friends we cannot come up with any. We have friends that would probably be my first choice, but I know they are on birth control too.

How important is this? We could have DH’s mother do it as we know she is 100% faithful, but I’m not exactly comfortable with grandparents as godparents, and in this case, she’s 80 years old, so it’s not as if she will be around for a long time to guide our child in the ways of the Church.

Can someone help? Thanks!
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You can ask the pastor to suggest someone from the parish. The baptism should take place within the first few weeks not months after their birth.
 
You only need 1 godparent. Search the highways and byways and find that one person who is a model of Catholic practice. Look in your parish, among your friends, ask your priest. Use that one godparent, as long as he or she lives, as the godparent for all your other children. This is kage_ar’s idea, but I endorse it highly.

And Grandma may surprise you and live to be 100.
 
🙂

When you think about it, grandparents and aunts and uncles already have a role to play in the life of the child. Bringing in somone who is not related by natural blood but through Christ is expanding your child’s support system even more.
 
kage_ar said:
🙂

When you think about it, grandparents and aunts and uncles already have a role to play in the life of the child. Bringing in somone who is not related by natural blood but through Christ is expanding your child’s support system even more.
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And saves a bunch of arguments, because you picked brother Tom and not brother Al, or sister-in-law Maggie and not sister Sue…
 
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