L
LP4H
Guest
So, this is something that has been preying on my mind for some time now, and after an incident at Mass at last week, well, I’m really confused as to I should do.
So, my brother, like myself, is a cradle Catholic, but over the years he has become what can best be described as a Catholic of the cafeteria variety. On some matters he is in line with Church teaching: he opposes abortion (and really death in any form), he participates in Lent, etc.
But, there are other aspects of his belief system that concern me. He has openly stated that he doesn’t want to go to Mass any more, and really doesn’t like going on non-Sunday Holy Days of Obligation (last time, I had a hard time convincing him that to knowingly skip one would constitute a mortal sin, and while I don’t think he really believed that was true, he did go). He attends Mass every Sunday with me, though there have been times when he was out of town and, as far as I know, did not even try to attend a Mass where he was.
Also, he supports homosexual “marriage” and sees nothing sinful in homosexuality. He has had arguments with both myself and my parents on this subject, and he has become pretty angry while doing so. He knows the Catholic teaching that this is sinful, but he seems to think this will change in the future. Furthermore, he has stated that with Jesus & the New Testament, the law that homosexuality was sinful was abolished, though I don’t know if he still believes that, simply ignores Church teaching on the matter, or what. There have been times when he has clearly and loudly stated that he’d “rather go to hell than be in Heaven with a God that hates gay people.”
Last week at Mass, after coming back from Communion, little booklets on Catholic voting options were placed out, and when he picked up one and saw the “non-negotiables” on the back, he became vocally (albeit quietly) angry about the homosexual marriage bullet-point. He continued complaining about it after we left, about the separation of Church and state and so on. Knowing how these kind of arguments with him can turn out, I just quietly changed the subject when he asked me if I was mad about it too (looking back, I wish I would have made my standpoint clear, though I thought he knew where I stood on the matter).
So, here’s my dilemma: He still attends Mass with me every Sunday, but he receives Communion, which I find troubling (and he refuses to go to Confession). On one hand, I’m glad he’s at least going to Mass, but then, I don’t want him to eat & drink damnation upon himself. I don’t know if he knows that much of what he believes is considered mortally sinful (he told me “things like murder are mortal sins,” implying that he thinks a mortal sin has to be something decidedly ‘major’ in his book). My fear is that explaining all of this to him will either be redundant, fruitless, or worse yet, drive him from the Church completely. I’m just very confused and worried by the whole matter. And to make things worse, I feel that every time he receives Communion in this state, I’m somehow responsible because I didn’t warn him/stop him/etc.
He’s an adult, and obviously I can’t make him do anything. Frankly, I just don’t know what I can do right now. Should I tell him these things and risk driving him from Mass completely, is prayer my only option, or…? Furthermore, am I out of line in some way here? I just don’t know anymore.
So, my brother, like myself, is a cradle Catholic, but over the years he has become what can best be described as a Catholic of the cafeteria variety. On some matters he is in line with Church teaching: he opposes abortion (and really death in any form), he participates in Lent, etc.
But, there are other aspects of his belief system that concern me. He has openly stated that he doesn’t want to go to Mass any more, and really doesn’t like going on non-Sunday Holy Days of Obligation (last time, I had a hard time convincing him that to knowingly skip one would constitute a mortal sin, and while I don’t think he really believed that was true, he did go). He attends Mass every Sunday with me, though there have been times when he was out of town and, as far as I know, did not even try to attend a Mass where he was.
Also, he supports homosexual “marriage” and sees nothing sinful in homosexuality. He has had arguments with both myself and my parents on this subject, and he has become pretty angry while doing so. He knows the Catholic teaching that this is sinful, but he seems to think this will change in the future. Furthermore, he has stated that with Jesus & the New Testament, the law that homosexuality was sinful was abolished, though I don’t know if he still believes that, simply ignores Church teaching on the matter, or what. There have been times when he has clearly and loudly stated that he’d “rather go to hell than be in Heaven with a God that hates gay people.”
Last week at Mass, after coming back from Communion, little booklets on Catholic voting options were placed out, and when he picked up one and saw the “non-negotiables” on the back, he became vocally (albeit quietly) angry about the homosexual marriage bullet-point. He continued complaining about it after we left, about the separation of Church and state and so on. Knowing how these kind of arguments with him can turn out, I just quietly changed the subject when he asked me if I was mad about it too (looking back, I wish I would have made my standpoint clear, though I thought he knew where I stood on the matter).
So, here’s my dilemma: He still attends Mass with me every Sunday, but he receives Communion, which I find troubling (and he refuses to go to Confession). On one hand, I’m glad he’s at least going to Mass, but then, I don’t want him to eat & drink damnation upon himself. I don’t know if he knows that much of what he believes is considered mortally sinful (he told me “things like murder are mortal sins,” implying that he thinks a mortal sin has to be something decidedly ‘major’ in his book). My fear is that explaining all of this to him will either be redundant, fruitless, or worse yet, drive him from the Church completely. I’m just very confused and worried by the whole matter. And to make things worse, I feel that every time he receives Communion in this state, I’m somehow responsible because I didn’t warn him/stop him/etc.
He’s an adult, and obviously I can’t make him do anything. Frankly, I just don’t know what I can do right now. Should I tell him these things and risk driving him from Mass completely, is prayer my only option, or…? Furthermore, am I out of line in some way here? I just don’t know anymore.
). I think his sticking point is more along the lines of “if they love each other, what does it matter if they’re two men/women?”