Need advice

[Just_wondering]

I’ve also got another point to think about. Suppose you invited them over, and the two children got along like best friends. Then you’d be in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between allowing your child to regularly meet these people whose lifestyle you can’t approve of, or explaining to the couple why you don’t want your children becoming best friends.

It just strikes me that it would be easier all around not to invite them over.

 

[Belle10]

in the first place, when you plan a dinner party, you also plan the guest list, and it is rude for those you invite to suggest additions, unless it is an extremely informal gathering.

It is very informal – our friends are going to bring something, we’ll prepare something, but we’ll be sitting around just hanging out, nothin’ fancy.

in the second place, unless you are prepared to investigate the moral life of all your guests including their activities behind closed doors, you cannot set a standard that applies only to some.

I think I can set a standard as to who comes into my home. I agree with blessedtoo’s post above regarding the “type” of sin that is at the center of this situation.

if you don’t want certain people around your children because in your best judgment as a parent, that could be harmful, you are not required to state a reason why the guest is not invited.

True, it’s just easier said than done.

a dinner party is not the best setting for confronting someone about their lifestyle and challenging their actions, and is a very poor evangelization tactic.

I was never planning to confront anyone nor was I planning a great evangelization strategy, I was simply thinking that if they were to come, perhaps I’d be able to show them an example of a person who loves God and sticks with Church teachings. Again though, as blessedtoo stated above, this would most likely prove very difficult in the given situation, which I hope is what you meant.

I’ve also got another point to think about. Suppose you invited them over, and the two children got along like best friends. Then you’d be in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between allowing your child to regularly meet these people whose lifestyle you can’t approve of, or explaining to the couple why you don’t want your children becoming best friends.

It just strikes me that it would be easier all around not to invite them over.

Yes, I’ve thought about that too. The girls are only 2 so I don’t think there’d be a strong attachment now, I have wondered if it could happen in the future, and that’s another reason why I’ve been concerned about this. I thought I was getting way ahead of things (I tend to do that ) but you bringing it up makes me think I’m not.

 

[blessedtoo]

Blessedtoo, thank you for this post. I think what you have described is what I was feeling but couldn’t p(name removed by moderator)oint. What I think I’m going to suggest is that this time, our friends come over and that some other time we can go to our friend’s home at which point if they want to invite his sister and her partner, that’ll be his decision. I know I can do this in a way that will not hurt feelings and that will make this a much more comfortable and enjoyable experience for me (I can deal with certain things “out in the world” but wasn’t sure I wanted to bring it into my home, you know?).

Thanks for putting into words what I couldn’t! Thank you everyone who responded – I really do appreciate your insights.

God bless!

 

[rpp]

Many people may say “But Jesus ate with sinners…”

True, but not unrepentant sinners.

These two women who are having sex with each other in the same house that they are raising a daughter ( ) can never be your friends. Not as long as they embrace that lifestyle. You are not going to save them. Their influence will be completely negative while your influence on them will be zilch.

No, as dinner guests, they have disqualified themselves.

The late Holy Father Pope John Paul II said that when homosexual “couples” adopt children is “does violence” to the child. Those are the Pope’s words not mine.

 

[Island_Oak]

in the first place, when you plan a dinner party, you also plan the guest list, and it is rude for those you invite to suggest additions, unless it is an extremely informal gathering.

in the second place, unless you are prepared to investigate the moral life of all your guests including their activities behind closed doors, you cannot set a standard that applies only to some.

if you don’t want certain people around your children because in your best judgment as a parent, that could be harmful, you are not required to state a reason why the guest is not invited.

a dinner party is not the best setting for confronting someone about their lifestyle and challenging their actions, and is a very poor evangelization tactic.

Ditto, ditto, ditto and ditto.

Your house, your party, your preogative to invite/not invite whomever you chose without any (name removed by moderator)ut whatsoever from the guests. If you end up with someone so cheeky as to start arranging your guest list for you, the response should be --“What a great idea…we’d love to meet_______ and we’ll have to try and get everyone together sometime soon, but for next Saturday night–we’re all set!”

As for actually dining with the ladies in question…you’re already friends with sinners–you and all your friends are in that club (as are all of us)–so why not be open to meeting them? No one’s asking you to condone their sinful conduct, just to share a meal. You may find them to be wonderful people with talents or qualities you admire and they may think the same of you. And as long as they promise not to lecture you on your envy/lust/coveting sins, you can probably hold off lecturing them on their homosexual lifestyle and just enjoy the meal and those things you do enjoy in common.

 

[Belle10]

The late Holy Father Pope John Paul II said that when homosexual “couples” adopt children is “does violence” to the child. Those are the Pope’s words not mine.

Yes, it’s very upsetting. “Their” daughter is a biological one (they used a donor).

As for actually dining with the ladies in question…you’re already friends with sinners–you and all your friends are in that club (as are all of us)–so why not be open to meeting them? No one’s asking you to condone their sinful conduct, just to share a meal. You may find them to be wonderful people with talents or qualities you admire and they may think the same of you. And as long as they promise not to lecture you on your envy/lust/coveting sins, you can probably hold off lecturing them on their homosexual lifestyle and just enjoy the meal and those things you do enjoy in common.

That’s what I was thinking – I’m sure they are very nice people, I just couldn’t decide if inviting them into my home was appropriate.

LOL on the holding off on the lectures …I’ll do my best.

 

[ecp007]

I find it a little odd that you didn’t mind taking money from them when your husband was helping them decorated their love nest, but you mind sharing a meal?

It seems just like common curtosy, to invite a previous client, who also happens to be your husband’s best friend over.

I think I would be really upset, if someone worked in my home and took my money, but then thought for some reason I wasn’t “good enough” to sit down to dinner with them.

 

[Belle10]

I find it a little odd that you didn’t mind taking money from them when your husband was helping them decorated their love nest, but you mind sharing a meal?

It seems just like common curtosy, to invite a previous client, who also happens to be your husband’s best friend over.

I think I would be really upset, if someone worked in my home and took my money, but then thought for some reason I wasn’t “good enough” to sit down to dinner with them.

Thanks for your post. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t read all the posts, in which I explain who’s who…

First, they (the lesbians) are not my husband’s best friends – one of them is the sister of a good friend of my husband’s.

Second, my husband wasn’t helping them “decorate their love nest.” He was hired to remodel a bathroom in their house. Providing a service such as this is not at odds with church teachings.

We can’t “investigate” the morals of everyone my husband is hired by, but we can determine who comes into our home and who we have personal relationships with. Also, I never said they weren’t “good enough” to have a meal with, I was simply questioning if I should bring values that are completely at odds with mine (and the church’s) into my home when I have a child.

I talked with DH last night and he said they can’t come anyway, so it’ll just be us and our friends (the heterosexual couple) for dinner. Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this!

 

[rpp]

We can’t “investigate” the morals of everyone my husband is hired by, but we can determine who comes into our home and who we have personal relationships with. Also, I never said they weren’t “good enough” to have a meal with, I was simply questioning if I should bring values that are completely at odds with mine (and the church’s) into my home when I have a child.

Well said.

Excellent answer.