Need advice

[ineedofmercy]

I’m been slowly trying to be honest with my brother so he helps me get to confession because I’m afraid to ask and so is he for the same reason (I don’t think my brother is in mortal sin we just want to be good Catholics without being embarrassed)

I have trouble avoiding the Eucharist while in mortal sin

1. When the Priest( it is usually a Eucharistic minister) looks at me I feel rude just walking out of line
2. If I shake my head no or say no my family will see and interrogate me after
   3.if I’m not in the back of family in line I will have to fake taking it or they will see and my family always nudges me near the front
   4.my brother agrees that if we mention confession they will think its porn(even though with me it is)

I’ve been working it out slowly and hope I end up with a St.Augstine story

I would really love advice
I talk to God like he is judge/rough king rather than a friend in prayer sometimes
I try to stop this but I can’t help but feel he is upset with me from all these sins and feel like he can’t wait to punish me
I know that isn’t true
I get sick usually after sin this is no coincidence

I may come semi clean with my brother and say I looked up something I shouldn’t have and want to go confession. My brother knowing could be annoying but he’s the best help I have

I know God is probably telling me just walk straight off the cliff with a leap of faith but its scary because I know the mental stress and suffering will be no walk in the park

I just want this to be over
I really wish I had a restart button but I know God is working things into place of the sidelines to make something good of me
I know this is long and points in many directions but anything helps

 

[LaetenturCaeli]

I would encourage you to tell your parents the truth, and to submit to whatever they say.

I love you, brother, and I realize that you’re in dire straights.

But this goes around in circles, I’m afraid, and the solution is honesty, IMO.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

There are mitigating circumstances to mortal sin. Have you talked in depth to a priest about this?

 

[E_7]

I’m been slowly trying to be honest with my brother so he helps me get to confession because I’m afraid to ask and so is he for the same reason (I don’t think my brother is in mortal sin we just want to be good Catholics without being embarrassed)

I have trouble avoiding the Eucharist while in mortal sin

1. When the Priest( it is usually a Eucharistic minister) looks at me I feel rude just walking out of line
2. If I shake my head no or say no my family will see and interrogate me after
   3.if I’m not in the back of family in line I will have to fake taking it or they will see and my family always nudges me near the front
   4.my brother agrees that if we mention confession they will think its porn(even though with me it is)

I’ve been working it out slowly and hope I end up with a St.Augstine story

I would really love advice
I talk to God like he is judge/rough king rather than a friend in prayer sometimes
I try to stop this but I can’t help but feel he is upset with me from all these sins and feel like he can’t wait to punish me
I know that isn’t true
I get sick usually after sin this is no coincidence

I may come semi clean with my brother and say I looked up something I shouldn’t have and want to go confession. My brother knowing could be annoying but he’s the best help I have

I know God is probably telling me just walk straight off the cliff with a leap of faith but its scary because I know the mental stress and suffering will be no walk in the park

I just want this to be over
I really wish I had a restart button but I know God is working things into place of the sidelines to make something good of me
I know this is long and points in many directions but anything helps

What you are doing is called sacrilege, and it is a grave thing to do. I would say the gravest thing to do. It is insulting and disrespectful to God. Won’t you rather feel embarrassed, interrogated or whatever over comitting sacrilege? Why care about your face over God?

I don’t mean to be rude nor harsh!

Stay on the pew, and when your family interrogates you just tell them that you will tell them your sins when they confess their’s to you (kinda sarcastic ), and remind them that they are not priests and that you would rather stay in pew than to commit sacrilege. If it’s impossible for them to stop asking, then learn to live with it. Sacrilege is really grave.

Edit:
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church

2120 Sacrilege consists in profaning or treating unworthily the sacraments and other liturgical actions, as well as persons, things, or places consecrated to God. Sacrilege is a grave sin especially when committed against the Eucharist, for in this sacrament the true Body of Christ is made substantially present for us.

 

[ineedofmercy]

What you are doing is called sacrilege, and it is a grave thing to do. I would say the gravest thing to do. It is insulting and disrespectful to God. Won’t you rather feel embarrassed, interrogated or whatever over comitting sacrilege? Why care about your face over God?

I don’t mean to be rude nor harsh!

Stay on the pew, and when your family interrogates you just tell them that you will tell them your sins when they confess their’s to you (kinda sarcastic ), and remind them that they are not priests and that you would rather stay in pew than to commit sacrilege. If it’s impossible for them to stop asking, then learn to live with it. Sacrilege is really grave.

Edit:
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church

2120 Sacrilege consists in profaning or treating unworthily the sacraments and other liturgical actions, as well as persons, things, or places consecrated to God. Sacrilege is a grave sin especially when committed against the Eucharist, for in this sacrament the true Body of Christ is made substantially present for us.

I wish I didn’t have to deal with them they can be annoying and my brother agrees that why he will never ask to go confession either

I know it maybe my cross but realistically they should just back off rather than be curious by doing so they are being bad parents

Jesus said don’t hinder the children from coming to me I shouldn’t be made fun of ,yelled at,or interrogated for just wanting to go to a measly confession or refusing the host

My parents neglect confession probably because of time and I need to tell them that my dad needs to go for missing a holy day but my brother said no

I wish I could be allowed to ride my bike to church and just not have to deal with people who aren’t religiously awake

Why does everything have to be stupid they’re keeping me in the hole I dug for myself
Sometimes I really wish I could stay young but other times I just to get out if here a leave my religious life

Sorry if I sound angry in this but when people are being unnecessary obstacles in the way of your faith you get mad

I’ve tried to be braver lately step by step and I think it’s just leading to me having to do it but then my relationship with my family is dead but I’m trying to care about that

I know I may need to suffer to be better in faith but that’s hard

I miss the life where I just cared about seeing my friends at church events and playing with them without a care except sharing smiles with them

Now life still has that but it’s all hard now

I know this a long rant but its whats torturing me

 

[Irishmom2]

You do not need to confess your sins to your parents, only to the priest in the confessional.
Ask if they would take you to confession. If they ask why, tell them because you want to live your faith to the fullest, and that includes you going to confession. If they say no, tell them then do not expect you to be receiving communion. Stay in the pew. I don’t know how old you are, but is there a reason that you cannot ride your bicycle to church?

If your parents continue to give you a hard time, do not fight with them, but do make an appointment with your parish priest and ask him what you should do, as you do not want to be disrespectful to your parents, but they are unwilling to take you confession when you need to go. He will be the best person to ask for advice.

 

[LaetenturCaeli]

I know this a long rant but its whats torturing me

You have made many threads about this, which of course is absolutely fine, but they all revolve around the same point: you don’t want to tell your parents the truth.

I’m sorry, but it is unfair to ask folks to help you find ways around your parents. We have no business giving you such permission, or helping you to consider your parents defective or bad or anything else. You have no business detracting against them here and having people give you advice based on such detraction.

Tell them the truth.

They are your parents.

If you’re afraid then you’re afraid. You’re old enough to do the right thing despite being afraid.

 

[angell1]

I wish I didn’t have to deal with them they can be annoying and my brother agrees that why he will never ask to go confession either

I know it maybe my cross but realistically they should just back off rather than be curious by doing so they are being bad parents

Jesus said don’t hinder the children from coming to me I shouldn’t be made fun of ,yelled at,or interrogated for just wanting to go to a measly confession or refusing the host

My parents neglect confession probably because of time and I need to tell them that my dad needs to go for missing a holy day but my brother said no

I wish I could be allowed to ride my bike to church and just not have to deal with people who aren’t religiously awake

Why does everything have to be stupid they’re keeping me in the hole I dug for myself
Sometimes I really wish I could stay young but other times I just to get out if here a leave my religious life

Sorry if I sound angry in this but when people are being unnecessary obstacles in the way of your faith you get mad

I’ve tried to be braver lately step by step and I think it’s just leading to me having to do it but then my relationship with my family is dead but I’m trying to care about that

I know I may need to suffer to be better in faith but that’s hard

I miss the life where I just cared about seeing my friends at church events and playing with them without a care except sharing smiles with them

Now life still has that but it’s all hard now

I know this a long rant but its whats torturing me

obedience to parents is required in matters which are not sin

in this case, they are not allowing you to have your soul absolved, which is very grave matter

is it that they will actually refuse to take you? or just ask annoying questions? I have a similar thing going on myself, difference is, I’m an adult so I can just take the bus and go whenever I want. if I get questioned on what I confessed, I just don’t respond

is your church within biking distance? is it possible ot get permission just to go out for a bike ride without having to explain all the details?

 

[LaetenturCaeli]

obedience to parents is required in matters which are not sin

Forgive me, but it is not up to us to determine whether or not this young man’s parents are sinning or not. We know a tiny portion of the story, despite the many times that it has been repeated.

 

[Petaro]

One scenario if you want to keep this silly charade going. I would ring the parish priest when you are alone and talk to him about it. He may be wise and may even meet with you privately to hear your confession so you can start again. However, if it is porn you may well fall again. So you will need to front your parents and demand they take you to confession as a fulfillment of your faith. This can be done when you have no guilt after your first confession for some time and have been to public communion so they have no reason to suspect something so horrible as sin. LOL.
However, a better suggestion is that you are really screwing yourself into small knots trying to be the perfect son. Parents are not that judgmental and actually love you. How more so does your Father in Heaven, so no more thoughts of a harsh judge. You know the reality of our belief in a forgiving God. You are just projecting your guilt onto what you think you deserve. Judgment yes, but you forget His forgiveness also.
There must be some way to break this cycle of guilt and impotence in the face of your own pride. What would be the worst thing if your father knew of your problem? I am a father and I know my son could bring anything to me and I would be his best support. You get fond of them after a while! LOL
Swallow that pride that is the work of the devil keeping you from both your Fathers. You might be surprised at the love shown by both.

 

[ineedofmercy]

One scenario if you want to keep this silly charade going. I would ring the parish priest when you are alone and talk to him about it. He may be wise and may even meet with you privately to hear your confession so you can start again. However, if it is porn you may well fall again. So you will need to front your parents and demand they take you to confession as a fulfillment of your faith. This can be done when you have no guilt after your first confession for some time and have been to public communion so they have no reason to suspect something so horrible as sin. LOL.
However, a better suggestion is that you are really screwing yourself into small knots trying to be the perfect son. Parents are not that judgmental and actually love you. How more so does your Father in Heaven, so no more thoughts of a harsh judge. You know the reality of our belief in a forgiving God. You are just projecting your guilt onto what you think you deserve. Judgment yes, but you forget His forgiveness also.
There must be some way to break this cycle of guilt and impotence in the face of your own pride. What would be the worst thing if your father knew of your problem? I am a father and I know my son could bring anything to me and I would be his best support. You get fond of them after a while! LOL
Swallow that pride that is the work of the devil keeping you from both your Fathers. You might be surprised at the love shown by both.

I guess I may have to do this
I hope I don’t get to depressed afterwards
Another thing is that I have a twin brother and little sister
They will probably find out too
I don’t want them to think of me that way
I guess I could start with my brother and move on from there
My brother will be shocked and maybe even a little mad because I said I wouldn’t do this when were younger
But I think eventually he will try to help but also probably tease me and ask questions I don’t want to answer

I know my parents love me but them caring can be awkward too I don’t want their help I want their permission to go and them to take me

I lied when told to swear to God once a year ago and went to confession but forgot it so I’m using that as a clean excuse rn

If that doesn’t work then well I guess then next 3 months are overrated lol

This is the biggest trial of my life and so sudden but I imagine this is what an athiest wanting to convert must feel like thinking he will lose all his friendss and family

I need to picture God better its hard to do that when the devil lies us your ear 24/7 on how he couldn’t possibly care about you after all this and how can he love when you barely love you

I hope I can be brave and do this
I wanted to skip communion today but thought the minister would be maybe ask why
I really hate embarrassment but I’m getting tougher

Soon I hope just to ignore their presence until they realize it isn’t working
My goals are to
Bring up to my mom my want to go and my dads need to go
Talk to a priest if I can
Talk with my brother

 

[ineedofmercy]

You have made many threads about this, which of course is absolutely fine, but they all revolve around the same point: you don’t want to tell your parents the truth.

I’m sorry, but it is unfair to ask folks to help you find ways around your parents. We have no business giving you such permission, or helping you to consider your parents defective or bad or anything else. You have no business detracting against them here and having people give you advice based on such detraction.

Tell them the truth.

They are your parents.

If you’re afraid then you’re afraid. You’re old enough to do the right thing despite being afraid.

I’m afraid of my whole family knowing
I’m the only one that actually cares about this stuff right now
No one else gets it

I should start by using a other mortal sin I just need to say again (forgotten in past confession)
If that doesn’t work I will come clean with my brother which will get me reàdy for the rest
If that somehow doesn’t work I will just ride my bike there by myself without permission

They will probably try to educate me or be over caring/interested which I don’t want it won’t help I just want to go not be talked to about it

I wish I had group take me

I hope I can be brave because i don’t look like it but I’m really fragile I’ve been hiding feeling with comedy my whole life because people never get it

I know God understands but I just offend him and he’s loves me still but it’s hard to believe that sometimes
I know the reason this is specially designed against me is because the devil is abusing my mind,body,and heart to stop me from being what he knows I can be

That’s why no one else gets it because they not awake yet so they aren’t tortured like this because they aren’t religiously serious

Please pray for my bravery
I have so much I want in life I fear I threw all of it out the window with this mountain of screw ups

I guess I will wait till my childhood ends and pray life gets better /

 

[Franciscan_Way]

Since you said whenever you ask to go to confession you get a hard time, could you talk to your dad honestly about this like others have suggested? Dad may react better than Mom and it would probably be a lot less awkward for you! Perhaps tell him what is going on and ask him to please not tell the rest of the family? The whole family DOES NOT need to know your business. I know this can be tricky when people are constantly questioning you about why you need to go to confession or why you are not receiving the Eucharist.

My husband constantly hounds me about confession. I go weekly; sometimes twice per week. (I have told him that not every time is for mortal sin or that I did not kill anyone or cheat on him) I asked our pastor if I could make a quick confession after mass last Sunday. And my husband kept asking me “Why?” He even asked the priest afterward if I was “being a good girl!”

I like the comment about you telling them your sins when they tell you theirs, but unfortunately as a young person, it makes things a bit tough. I agree with the advice "Tell them you want to live your faith to the fullest and that includes going to confession. Until then, I would “remain in the pew at communion time”. God bless you and I will pray for this situation to be resolved.

 

[ineedofmercy]

Since you said whenever you ask to go to confession you get a hard time, could you talk to your dad honestly about this like others have suggested? Dad may react better than Mom and it would probably be a lot less awkward for you! Perhaps tell him what is going on and ask him to please not tell the rest of the family? The whole family DOES NOT need to know your business. I know this can be tricky when people are constantly questioning you about why you need to go to confession or why you are not receiving the Eucharist.

My husband constantly hounds me about confession. I go weekly; sometimes twice per week. (I have told him that not every time is for mortal sin or that I did not kill anyone or cheat on him) I asked our pastor if I could make a quick confession after mass last Sunday. And my husband kept asking me “Why?” He even asked the priest afterward if I was “being a good girl!”

I like the comment about you telling them your sins when they tell you theirs, but unfortunately as a young person, it makes things a bit tough. I agree with the advice "Tell them you want to live your faith to the fullest and that includes going to confession. Until then, I would “remain in the pew at communion time”. God bless you and I will pray for this situation to be resolved.

Thank you
I got to be braver but that doesn’t mean I can’t be smart too

I will come back to you guys when I eventually try again