Need direction in my life

[earthlark]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post here. I’m just so lost and confused, and can’t seem to get myself out of this situation that I’m in. I’m 15 years old (M), and I’m going through difficulties with two things right now. I don’t really know how to start explaining this so I’ll put things simply. I really don’t feel any support from my family; everything I can recall about my father brings back memories of deep pain, and he is, in general, very toxic all the time. My second and main issue that I’m facing right now is that I am trying to overcome an addiction to pornography. What makes this worse, is that anytime I get near overcoming my addiction, it seems that something comes up where I have to spend extended time with my father. Afterwards I’m just so overcome with everything that it seems pornography is my only escape, at the time. After I give in to the temptations with that, I feel so ashamed at what I’ve done that I often just turn my back to God for several days, and this just brings me to the bottom; God is all I have most of the time.

Furthermore, from my past of being abused I’m really unstable. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD and it seems very likely that I have bipolar and ADHD. I really just don’t know how to get out of this loop. I would really appreciate advice of what I can / should do and how I can fix these issues. Thanks everyone.

 

[Lasting_faith]

It seem to me that your addiction to porn is what bother you most of all. If you have OCD that is very likely the reason to your porn addiction. The RCC teach that masturbation is a sin, and it is, but not as bad as we usually think, please read the chapter 2352 in our CCC. It is not a “loophole” that say it is NOT a sin. What it actually mean is that thank to Gods mercy and understanding some sins can be, in some circumstances not so heavy. Find comfort in that when you feel bad. Try to not look at porn, it will take some effort, but it will be easier after a while. You will fall, you will, but God’s mercy is there for you. You seek comfort, you seem to find it in porn/masturbation. I know this is the most used advice but try to find peace in a prayer.

Think about the fact that nothing “real” happen. The persons you see are not “making love”, they are getting their monthly paycheck for ACTING out something that is so far from real sex as anything can be. They do not enjoy what they are doing. Nothing is “real”. And think about this: some girls (and boys) you see are actually forced to do what the filmmaker want. Those who make porn are exploiting innocent people and that is wrong. The only “winner” is those who make those videos, nobody else. Porn is not real, it is fake from the beginning to the end. Sex is beautiful, sex is a thing two adults do as a sign of love and affection. Sex is not porn, and porn is not sex.

About your other problems, you are on the right path son, the fact that you asked this on a public forum show, at least in my mind, that you seek help, and God will help you. He don’t mind if you fall, He will help you up every time, and don’t think so much about what is sin, let that be for a while, when you are on the right track, and you will be, then is the time to ponder what is sin, what not. Right now give Christ your hand, He will hold on to you and help you, and He is always with you, even if all people you know would leave you Christ will not, He will carry you all the way. So, take comfort in Gods mercy and love, one day you know what to do, and that day your are what you want to be. God bless you son.

 

[Phil_Marinus]

G’day Mate, what you feel emotionally., physically , mentally , and spiritually ,
Is perfectly normal for a 15 year old young man, whatever you do, don’t try to feel shame , don’t try to alienate yourself, just be yourself, what I would like you to do is this,
Look at yourself, in the mirror if you must… Say out loud, I am me , I’m not my farther, I’m not my mother or grandparents, I am me, no one else is me, I will be my own person,
Feel confidence in yourself, we all have faults, you are a human being not a robot or the figment of someone’s imagination , concentrate on your education to better yourself,
Things will get better for you as long as you don’t dwell on the faults of yourself or others, think about the words you just read, and get back to me,

 

[earthlark]

Thank you for replying. I’ll try to keep these things in mind.