Need encouragement for job vs. family

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JLCecilia

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Today I was written up for the 2nd time since May. I cannot miss one more day until the end of next July, if I do:
1st time = 3-day unpaid suspension
2nd time = 5-day unpaid probation period after which my director
decides whether to continue or terminate my
employment

3 wks ago, 2yo fell off the bed and had to have 5 staples - kept him home Mon-Tues. That Friday, I stayed home b/c of a painful staph infection in my finger - too painful even w/ the codone.

The following week, I stayed home in the a.m. on Thurs b/c I thought I was coming down w/ the flu. I was well enough to go in for the afternoon - turns out it was something I ate.

Last Wednesday evening, 2yo fell down the stairs at the sitter and split his head open again. I kept him home on Thurs.

As often as I can, I try to go in on the weekend and make up my time or work thru lunch. Believe it or not, I have to get approval to make up my time. Even if I make up ALL of my time, the unscheduled absence still counts as an occurance against me. My PTO is looking pretty skinny, hence trying to make up my time b/c if I don’t have enough to cover the holiday, guess what, it counts as an occurance.

We are just at the beginning of the cold/flu season, so inevitabely, SOMEBODY is going to get sick. DH has to talk to his boss about when the time calls for it, if he can stay w/ the kids in the a.m. until my mom comes in from 3 hrs away - DH is also on written warning, but at least he can miss one day until March. I’m sick about having to abdicate my children’s care to someone else when they are ill (when you’re sick you just want your mommy), but hopefully we can just make it thru this season.

Ultimately I want to be a SAHM. More and more I am feeling a greater and greater pressure and feeling of defeat that I have to walk on egg shells w/ my job if I try to provide care for my children, also feeling like I can’t get my work done to a satisfactory degree. Feeling like I can’t do any one thing very well at all.

Anyone else been there? Our family simply cannot afford job loss at this time. GOD HELP US! Feeling like I just want to give up.
 
Prayers.

Perhaps you and your husband can find jobs on opposite shifts. One of you work 1st shift, one work 2nd - that way there is always someone home.
 
Cecilia! What is this a sweat shop? 😦 I agree with kage…try to find opposing shifts for now, while the kids are little. If you must work, then I’d do that. I would not quit this job,but I’d be looking for something better asap. There are jobs out there, despite the media babble to the contrary. They want everyone to be scared, clinging to Obama for a rescue. But, there ARE people hiring…for the holidays, etc. Not sure what you make, but your conditions there sound terrible. Please know you’re in my prayers.

May God grant you peace and strength and wisdom to find a way out of this situation. God bless!
 
My db sister’s is such condition, every day she misses or comes in later or leaves early or emergencies happen she gets written up!! Her Vacation gets used to make up even if she does have permission for making time up and even if she stays to make the time she was late or had to leave early or what have you…She and her hubby have different shifts, very difficult for her though and that’s why she’s only having one child, she’s not open to any more because if she was to have another their family would not be able to make it, they live in a state where everything is triple and their mortgage for their 2 bedroom condo is over 3 grand a month believe it or not, she works well 40 hours and her dh over 50 a week to try and make their payments, they are not “master degree professionals” and have to work that much to make it and I understand them and why they feel that way but even though you know?!

And even though they have different schedules there are occassions when her dh is called in on times he’s not supposed to be but is mandatory and she needs to leave early or take a longer lunch or take a long break to find a daycare or babysitter until she’s able to come home making her get into problems at work! It’s very difficult for her as well to stay away from her child! He’s very allergic to several things that when he got bitten by a flea or mosquito he swells up every where and gets an infection. So it makes things really complicated for them to take care of him. Before they used to take him to this lady to babysit him someone they knew and she would end up abusing him! Several occasions her dh or even herself would get out of work early to see their newborn child and spend time with him and they would find him unfed, with an old wet and pooed diaper, crying his eyes out while she was asleep or in the bathroom taking a shower…This devastated them and made them not forgive each other for what they put their infant through…So that’s why when she needs to she takes the days off even if she gets into trouble…

She hasn’t quit her job and it has taken a toll on her she’s overly stressed trying to make her boss happy etc and at the same time making sure her tiny tot of soon to be 3 years old is healthy and strong! At the same time keeping her dh happy and their marriage working!

It’s a difficult task but she’s doing it and advices me once in a while of what my life with db might be once we get married because I will have to continue working and with all ready 3 children and since I am open to life after marriage with hopefully then dh any more children that will come if GOD allows, I will need to figure out what in the world to do, since most of my children are school aged…I tried to be a sahm most of their lives if I worked was temp or part time on several occassions I had to work full time but had my mother, or grandmother, or ex grandmother in-law help me and I would have to pay, I still didn’t get a chance to pay my grandmother because she moved out of the country!! 😦 I know I still owe her and GOD willing the next time my father decides to go I can send him with her payment even though she told me she doesn’t need it…But I know it’s my responsibility to do so!

And I too am scared!
The best thing I can tell you is to just keep at it…
Many companies treat you like a number, the majority I am sure. My df is in the same condition except he has no small children but when he is ill he won’t even take a day off because of fear of losing his job! He has had almost 3 strokes, it has been very scary and he has had blood poisoning and we’ve almost lost him yet unless he’s passing out convulsioning or something then he goes to the hospital!! 😦

I think the govt should be considerate and help people out because a lot put their families aside and their own health to work and support their families and I don’t think it’s fair that because you need to have some time off you get introuble for that!!

My db sister just continues, she hasn’t given up and always places her life and child’s life in GOD’s hands, and she says if GOD decides today that I will lose my job, then He will decide when I am to get another one and we will get by in HIS name!!

So as long as you keep your faith and hopes, don’t stop trying!!
Good luck, GOD bless!
 
Thank you for your replies. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much worse off others are. I have a handful of people who I’m sure would be more than happy to help, and for free - but I have a huge guilt complex and I’m too shy/stubborn to ask for help. Guess I’ll just have to get over it.

Believe me, I seriously considered taking a teller job simply for the fact that I would have more days off to be at home w/ the kids (federal holidays and such). I even tried applying for a gov’t job awhile back for the benefits, but I was not qualified. The teller job of course would only pay half of what I make now and I wouldn’t have the opportunity to make up missed time, thereby going w/out pay. We live in a small town, so even if I found work elsewhere, my schedule would be even more unpredictable than now, I’d be making less and possibly seeing my children even less than now. The same problem would follow trying to find care for my children and possibly having to miss a lot. Aside from that, unless the sitter is sick and unable to care for the children, we still have to pay. So if the kids are sick, I’m paying the sitter PLUS whomever we get to fill in.

Right now DH is on mandatory OT and they (like our office) have set hours they must work. I’m sure this is all just a matter of getting thru this until I’m off the hook next year, it’s just very disheartening. DH and I are very fortunate that we are both making possibly the best money there is to be made in this town for kids our age w/ no college.

Thanks again for your prayers and thoughts, I’m sure our friends and family will rally around us and God will send us the help we need to make it thru. Hoping against hope to find a job w/ the school system in the coming years (if I can’t be a SAHM) so I’ll at least be off when the kids are off.
 
Are there any hospitals nearby? They usually have non-medical positions available and that is 24-7 with benefits. Also, cleaning services that clean office buildings, usually need employees for those night shifts. If there is a business park around you, the companies in them (sometimes manufacturers) need night people too. Those are just some ideas. But I do feel for you. My parents were able to work opposite shifts, and my cousin and his wife do so as well. In both situations, one worked days while the other worked nights in a hospital.
 
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