Need for Intimacy (NOT what you might be thinking!)

[DoloresHeart]

I struggled with deciding whether this was a better topic for the Spirituality or Family Life forums. I decided on here (the latter) because it was slightly more applicable.

I am feeling incredibly lonely and have been for most of my life. With the exception of a friend that mean the entire world to me, I really have never been able to experience genuine support and love. My father was unresponsive and my mother downright abusive, so for all practical purposes I have no parents in any realm except biological.

I have been craving to know that I am loved, accepted for who I am, supported, protected, and cherished. This feeling has been so intense and has grown exponentially since childhood. I am now a young woman and am still feeling this pain so deeply. I want also to have someone I know I can place my trust in, to love and cherish and respect and support in return, and I have such a friend, but he is long-distance so while we speak almost every day, we only rarely get to see each other. Sometimes there is just no substitute for a hug from someone you love, but still I am so grateful that this person is in my life and I love him more than anyone else on this planet.

Anyway, I have the Blessed Mother for my mother and I love her and I talk to her all the time about everything that I am feeling, and to her Son and my Savior. I know intellectually how much and how personally He loves me, but I just feel incredible sadness that I cannot see Him, or be held by Him, or by her, and neither can I hear them reply to me. In reality, it just feels like another long-distance relationship that is painful because again, I am far from my beloveds, but even worse, I cannot even get reciprocal interaction that I can see, or hear, or feel.

I know that it shouldn’t all be about emotions, but we are social and emotional creatures and God made us this way. I interact with a lot of people every day and have plenty of acquaintances. I don’t lack for human interaction at all. I am very active at my university and I volunteer and I help people all the time. What I do lack is that kind of intimacy that I desire, that closeness with another soul. I was deprived of this kind of relationship, or any sort of healthy relationship, with my parents- surely God had some kind of plan for me- but now I still feel like I am missing so much.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is there something wrong with how I feel, and if so, how can I correct it? I would appreciate prayers as well. God bless you.

 

[jpotato]

how often do you receive the eucharist? you should try to go every day. going to adoration is always a good time too. it can be tough, but try to build up a devotion to our lord in the blessed sacrament. it can be hard to feel close to him, but Jesus gave us his body, blood, soul and divinity in the eucharist for a reason. the other advantage of daily mass is that there are almost always rosary ladies that would love to have you come pray the rosary with them before or after mass.

i think most people feel lonely a lot. time makes your hurt hurt less. sometimes i feel that way, but I’m a man, which makes it easier for me to power through. you should talk to a priest or someone about it, it might help. im sorry i don’ have better advice but i prayed for you to feel better.

 

[runningdude]

…
I know that it shouldn’t all be about emotions, but we are social and emotional creatures and God made us this way. I interact with a lot of people every day and have plenty of acquaintances. I don’t lack for human interaction at all. I am very active at my university and I volunteer and I help people all the time. What I do lack is that kind of intimacy that I desire, that closeness with another soul. I was deprived of this kind of relationship, or any sort of healthy relationship, with my parents- surely God had some kind of plan for me- but now I still feel like I am missing so much.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is there something wrong with how I feel, and if so, how can I correct it? I would appreciate prayers as well. God bless you.

This sounds more like an issue that would be better addressed by a professional, and I mean this gently and earnestly. The internet cannot substitute for human interaction; the Pope have even issued a statement to this effect! I recommend speaking with a counselor. Universities often have counselors on staff, or could provide referrals.

What concerns me is that you say that you have a sufficient volume of interact, but it is the quality that is lacking. A counselor can work with you to uncover the reasons you do not feel enough emotional support, and can provide coaching in skills that help you have better friendships. School is a great time to begin this support, because the environment is very structured to provide you support and room to grow!