Need God's Guidance or Mercy

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still_hurting

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All of my immediate family members have passed on in the past 4 years, then this past January my beloved husband asked me for a divorce (because I had caught him in bed with a woman I thought was a friend to our family). I have been told that divorce for adultery is ok, but the scripture says that was an easy out that Moses gave christians. I did not want divorce, I wanted my husband and I to at least try counseling first. Now 9 months later, he’s running all over town with this woman, taking her to all of our former friend’s parties and I’m at home crying over the loss and wondering why my lord has ‘blessed’ him with happiness, wellness and love with this new relationship and I’m feeling lonely, confused about God’s will and missing our friends and feeling embarrassed and ashamed. Please pray for me to accept this and to see God’s blessings for me, and to let go of my desire for reconciliation, and healing from this sadness and hurt. Please pray for me, I haven’t anyone else to ask to pray with me.
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.

Amen.
 
My prayers are with you, that you get the mercy, peace, and strength of Our Lord to deal with this awful situation. BTW–don’t be too sure about his so-called happiness right now, things like this have a way of blowing up in the guilty party’s face. You have no need to feel ashamed, it is he who ought to be ashamed of himself. Ask God to help you at this time, protect your interests and that of your children (if any,) and turn some of your attention to finding new friends. If the old ones are tolerating his reprehensible behavior, you need to find a better class of friends.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
I am so very sorry for all your sufferings. I know that it is hard to see why God is allowing someone who has treated you so badly to be happy while your heart is broken. The Church does allow you to divorce this selfish man, what it doesn’t allow is for you to remarry, unless you are able to get an annullment after the divorce.

Do not feel embarassed or ashamed, you have nothing to be embarassed or ashamed about. Do you think that all the people your husband is taking this woman to see don’t think badly of the two of them? Do you think they think that a husband who cheats on, then leaves, a wife who has lost her whole family within a 4 year period is a really great guy? I am sure that all these people think that he is selfish beyond belief.

Your former friends, if they weren’t just friends of your husband that you got to know, are probably feeling awkward and don’t know how to approach you. Could you invite one or two of them over for coffee or lunch one day? If they really are your friends, they must be worried about you. They won’t be inviting you to parties as they probably don’t think you are in the mood for them. Try to get in touch with at least one or two people you feel close to and re-establish social contact.

Please go and speak to your priest and find out about counselling in your area. Although your husband does not want to try for a reconciliation, you need to come to terms with the loss of your marriage and the deaths of your family. You are trying to cope with a burden that any person would find painful beyond endurance. You need professional help to allow you to find ways to express and then deal with your pain and loss. You also need the support of a shoulder to cry on and a space to express your pain, anger etc.

Also ask your priest if there is a social activity you could join or volunteer for. One of the problems in your situation is that you are isolated and that is making you more depressed and meaning that you do not have anything to think about except your husband.

Finally, look for a group of seperated and divorced Catholics, I imagine that there is one on the groups part of this site, and also Google it. There will be people there who have been through something similar and can support you in this terrible time.

I will pray for you.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Our Father, which art in Heaven
Hollowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen
 
still_hurting said:
Please pray for me to accept this and to see God’s blessings for me, and to let go of my desire for reconciliation, and healing from this sadness and hurt. Please pray for me, I haven’t anyone else to ask to pray with me.
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May our Lord heal you and give you peace and abandonment to his holy will. May you always know the many ways you are blessed and keep being thankful to God. May God give you the grace to forgive and to pray for your husband and his girlfriend. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our deaths
Amen
 
I really want to thank everyone for their kindness and advice. I’m very appreciative of your prayers, and feel so much better knowing there are so many good people that care. I have been trying to pay it forward, by praying for others, especially those that have similar circumstances.

I am praying for grace to forgive, and feel as though I genuinely feel it, but could really use the advice on how to pray for husband and girlfriend. I have asked God to forgive their hurting me, and I ask God to help me forgive and feel continued compassion. Is that enough, or should I also be asking God to make them happy together so that they not go onto hurt others. (My non-christian friends think I should not even care, of course they wish me well and to move on and never think of them).

I love my lord and savior, I want to do the right thing and move forward living a love-filled, god-centered life.
 
Memorare,
O piissima VirgoMaria,
non esse auditum a saeculo,
quemquam ad tua currentempraesidia,
tua implorantem auxilia,
tua petentem suffragia,
esse derelictum.
Ego tali animatus confidentia,
ad te,
Virgo Virginum, Mater,curro,
ad te venio,
coram te gemens peccator assisto.
Noli,Mater Verbi,
verba mea despicere;
sed audi propitia et exaudi.Amen.

Memorare
Remember,
O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known
that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help,
or sought thine intercession,
was leftunaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
I fly unto thee,
O Virgin ofvirgins, my mother;
to thee do I come,
before thee I stand, sinfuland sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not mypetitions,
but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen
 
Praying for continued healing for you,
and conversion for your husband and the girlfriend.
 
A good friend of mine is an attorney. He does some matrimonial law in his legal practice. He says you should always pray for the happiness of an ex-spouse: If that person is happy, they won’t be spending effort in trying to make you miserable.

Unless his current girlfriend has sawdust for brains, don’t you think that eventually she will figure out that if he cheated on you with her, he can cheat on her with someone else? When that day of reckoning comes and she dumps him flat (most divorced people do not end up with the person they left a spouse for,) he may go willy-nilly on his way to the next one. Or he may focus his negative energy on you, after you have moved on to make a life for yourself without him. Ex-es can be particularly vindictive when the deserted spouse sees the deserter for what (s)he is–someone with the morals of an alley cat.

Focus on making a life for yourself, and protecting your interests, as well as deepening your spiritual life. God will deal with these two, in His own time and way.
 
Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy,
our Life, our Sweetness, and our Hope.
To Thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve.
To Thee do we send up our sighs mourning
and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn then, most gracious Advocate,
Thine Eyes of Mercy toward us,
and after this our exile show us the
Blessed Fruit of thy Womb, Jesus.
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
Pray for us O Holy Mother of God
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
 
reindeer said:
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
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