Need Guidance in New Relationship

[Mountain1]

Hello Everyone!

I am in a new relationship and have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months now. She is Lutheran and I am Catholic. When we first started to date I had mentioned to her about my beliefs and she had agreed with most of them. However, with us dating for a bit now and me thinking ahead for the future I can see how us having different faiths can cause some serious problems. I want her to come and convert but I also want it to be her choice, I do not want her to do this simply for me. I want her to actually believe it if she converts. She has told me that she wants to convert but I am starting to think it is just for me and not because she agrees with the Catholic teaching and traditions. I am at a lost here because I, of course, have feelings for her and defiantly do not want to break things off. There are some things that she just does not agree with, the main things being …

• Praying to Mary
• Praying for the dead
• Saints are real
• Purgatory is real

Those are just some that have come up, but I think those are some major ones. How can I go about explaining these things to her? Her reasoning is that, if its not explicitly spelled out in the Bible exactly, then its not true. I have sent her over some links kind of showing my side of things and the reasoning behind them but i don’t think I have been doing a good enough job to convince of these seeing as her stance has not changed. What can I do here?

 

[vsedriver]

if its not explicitly spelled out in the Bible exactly, then its not true

ask her where this is in the Bible. Then ask her how she knows which books are sacred scripture and which are not.

But this is really too early in your relationship. You barely know her and asking or expecting her to change faiths is unreasonable.

Suggest she pick one topic and the two of you together explore what the Catholic Church teaches on that one topic. That way you get to spend time together and learn to be on the same page together.

 

[Mtatum1958]

Those are really the minor common talking points I hear from many. There are fundamental differences in faith that will come up such as salvation and grace, justification, sola… Maybe these are things to address rather than more superficial ones.

Just my opinion.

 

[StarMapp]

I will quote you this RadioReplies site online, but there may be some ecumenical inroads made in discussions since this Nihil Obstat publication. The Church has always been open for discussion in these matters as that is her Divine nature. Recently there was a movement for a commemorative stamp for him. Not sure how far that went.

http://www.radioreplies.info/site-search.php?q=luther&db=1

Q244 thru to 264 addresses Protestism in general

 

[Roseeurekacross]

You know, you gotta crawl before you can walk. If it takes a long time for her, then thats her journey. Please stop judging her and just start helping her to convert, She is not required to pray to Mary, pray for the dead, pray to saints. As far as purgatory goes, time, my friend, time.

Don’t beat her over the head with explaining things to her. Let her discover them herself on her journey home.

 

[TheLittleLady]

If you can see yourself married to her for 5, 25, 50 years, see her as mother to your children, while she has the exact same beliefs she has now, then continue the relationship.

Do not date her expecting her to change. That is unfair to both of you.

 

[chevalier]

I don’t presume to judge her desires, but if she wants to convert but doesn’t want to accept purgatory, prayers for the dead, praying to saints for intercession, etc., then she wants to stay Protestant. You can be a Catholic who doesn’t pray to the saints, it would probably be next to impossible to rigorously avoid ever praying for the dead because of Mass intentions, but believing that if something isn’t expressly said in the Bible… that’s not quite where a convert would be expected to stand.

Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be good to be patient with her and help her first of all learn all she can about the faith, and it seems to me she does want to learn. A lot of people want to, they just miss someone to explain things to them patiently and answer their questions.

That said, don’t date just to convert her, and don’t have her convert just to marry you with more (superficial ease). Like you said, she has to do it for God and herself, because she wants it, not for you. Though you can be the incentive to start learning and thinking and go through the entire process.

And yes, be patient and loving. As for whether you want to marry her, well, see if you love her, if, like TheLittleLady said, you want her to one day be the mother of your children. If you’re both still young, there’s no rush.