R
rivera01
Guest
Hi everyone, I wanted to tell everyone the things that have occured recently within my marriage. After many prayers from those on and off the forums, which I am so grateful for, as well as the daily prayers that I have made, I have finally received an answer from God. I have prayed to Him endlessly to show me the path, to let me know what He wants out of my marriage. I asked Him, that if it is His will for my wife and I to end our marriage, then to take it away from me because I can not bear to live as we are. If it is not His will for our marriage to end, then to show me the means to save it and let love grow once again. I talked to my wife on Thursday and we talked about our situation. I know that due to my prior behaviors, I have broken her trust in me. I have been selfish, ungrateful, used my wife, and disrespectful toward her. I failed to meet her needs and only thought of what I wanted. Now that those things have changed, I have been struggling to show my wife that I have changed and things are different. That I want more out of our relationship then just sex. She has told me that she wants to give me a second chance, but feels unsure toward me, because I have betrayed her and is having great difficulty being a different person toward me. My wife advised me to open my heart toward her and this will be the way things will be beter for us. She also told me that she has the solution the the negativity she feels toward me, but she is afraid that I will hurt her once more. The reason she doesnt open up toward me is because of the trust that I broke. She would feel more secure about me, if I will just open my heart and show her the love I feel for her. I told her that the reason why I just decided to keep my feelings within me is because I was afraid of being rejected like before. I kept the things that I felt within me because I did not want to be hurt and fall into depression once again. She has told me that I hold the key to ending this problem because by me opening up, she will see that things are genuinely different and she can open up toward me once more. Its basically in my hands now. But I need help in trying to open up again. I dont want to earn her love, by buying her things, I’ve never liked doing that. I want to give her things, because its coming from my heart. I feel it kind of difficult trying to open up again, just because I am afraid of being shut down again.
