Need help and prayers

[familyfirst]

I have been taught to go to Mass every Sunday, and that when times are tough and you feel like it the least that is the most important time to go to Mass. When my husband is upset with our children or myself he refuses to take us to Mass as “we don’t deserve it”, or if I take them anyways, against his wishes, he refuses to go with us. When I try to explain to him that this is wrong and against the Church’s teachings, he tells me that the Church teaches that family should come first and that by taking the children after he has said no is disrepectful to him. I feel it is worse not to go to Mass, when we really are in of need it, than to disobey my husband. Am I wrong?

 

[Nessie86]

What a painful situation–I pray your husband has a change of heart. Here is what I think, take from it what you will. God should always come first. Always. That doesn’t always happen, unfortunately. But I believe you are in the right. You should always go to mass, no matter what state of mind, or state of sin, you are in. You are always welcome. Staying away from church when things are tough never helps things. I would advise that you consider speaking with you priest, or someone else in your church you trust, for help and guidance. Especially for the sake of your children. Taking them to mass EVERY WEEK and teaching them about God and the church is one of the most valuable things you can give them. Don’t lose heart. Pray, and persevere, and remember that in a church family, you are never alone.

 

[sanctamaria17]

Your first obligation is to God and you should not be “obeying” your husband. He’s your husband, not your father, submission must be MUTUAL!

Talk to a priest and take your husband to counseling.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I agree with the previous posters. Talk to a priest. God’s commandments come first. Sounds like your husband is trying to take the place of God around there. Is this the only thing he does to “punish” you or are there other things?

Ordering a whole family to disobey God in order to obey him is making himself an idol. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Christ Himself said that love for HIM would set family members against each other. He said that those who leave behind fathers and mothers and families for His sake would be rewarded in heaven. So apparently, God feels differently about putting God first over a fickle husband.

Pray for your husband’s conversion. But keep teaching your children by your good example.

 

[Trishie]

I’m very concerned for you, regarding this abuse. You are in unbearable situation. If your husband forces you not to go to Mass the sin is on his soul not yours. I can only pray for him, you, and for your children. I ask God to protect your children from patterning themselves on your husband’s autocratic and manipulative behaviour.

God’s word in Exodus 20

1. "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;
   “Do not have any other gods before me.”
   3)“Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.”

“Other gods” can be people in our lives, if we put them before God, or if they put themselves before God.

Jesus Christ, God, Son of the living God, said

‘“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” T**his is the greatest and first commandment. **
And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." [Matthew 22:34-40]

The ten Commandments
I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any other gods besides me

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain

Remember to keep holy the sabbath day ;

Honour thy father and mother

Thou shalt not kill.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Thou shalt not steal.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s (goods)
[Deuteronomy 5:6-21 ]

Nothing in the ten commandments tells us to put family before God, but there is a command to place God above all. The remaining commandments do tell us to respect others’ rights and dignity

 

[dove51]

My mother used to hold Mass over my head too, sometimes refusing to take me. This led to a lot of funny episodes of my walking long distances and ‘borrowing’ the car as a teen. But, of course, in situations like these, Jesus’ will trumps a loved one’s (no matter how important that person may be). I think you are right to get your Sunday obligation fulfilled and set this example for your children. Who knows, it might even show your husband that you are serious about this, and he might wise up and realize it’s just plain nonnegotiable.