Need help and prayers

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formy3

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Hello-

This is my first post here. I am married and I have 2 children, 7 and 2.

My husband has an alcohol problem. We’ve been married for 8 years. I’ve always known he has a problem. He will usually drink once a week but he will severely binge drinking 24+ hours.

He’s not a nice drunk. He’s never physically hurt anyone (but himself) but he says pretty mean things to me. Holidays are lousy and he’s missed so many school parties, games etc. He gets drunk and blames me for everything wrong in his life.

I love my husband, but I am so tired of this. He does not attend mass with us ever.

He can be a wonderful man. But when he makes an excuse to drink my heart breaks. I’m so scared for him and for my kids.

I’ve been reading and posting in support sites but I’m having such a hard time trying to figure out what I should do. I’m committed to this marriage but he wont get help and I don’t know what to do.
He’s from another country and moved here for me. I feel like there is noone here to turn to for help for him.
Sorry this post is all over the place.

:confused:
 
For something serious like this, I find the advice is much better tailored to the situation when one meets with someone face to face, or at least on the phone. Can you discuss this with your priest? Can you get to Al-Anon meetings? Is there someone you know from his culture who doesn’t know him but who could explain his cultural ideas about marriage, wives, drinking, etc?

Al-Anon can be particularly helpful, and is based on principles remarkably close to those of Catholicism.

If you were to need to separate, it is all right with the Church, as long as you don’t re-marry (unless your marriage is investigated and found not to have been valod, which commonly called annullment).
 
You are correct in your title…you do need both of those things.

Please make sure to keep you and your family safe…anger and violence usually starts in a non-physical fashion and over time can turn physical.

Talk to your priest for help on finding a good counselor…even if it’s just you going you should be talking to a professional about this. They could probably provide you better advice than what you could think of on your own because they are a neutral observer that can look at the situation with an unbiased eye.

Pray to Mary for her intercession. Any request she takes to her son will not be denied. Also ask for St. Monica’s intercession…she is the Patron Saint of Alcoholics:
americancatholic.org/Features/Saints/saint.aspx?id=1120

If there is one thing I have learn it’s to never give up on praying…especially when the situation seems hopeless. Ask God to intercede!!!
 
Please go to at least several Al-Anon meetings. They are all the same structure but each has its own character. You will get support there. You will be encouraged to take care of yourself and stop trying to fix or change the alcoholic. That may seem impossible right now, but as you learn more about the disease, you will understand. You are not alone, and you need support. Please go to Al-Anon.
 
formy3:

You’re in a tough place, and sometimes LOVE means doing hard things. Al-Anon or counseling will help you discern how much of this you should be taking on, and how much of this is the mess that he has to deal with himself (addiction to alcohol, not getting help). You can love him, stay married to him, but it might be safer for all if you are not living in the same house with him. We can stay committed to our marriage vows without accepting that abuse as part of the marriage package. Will living like you are get him on the road to holiness and emotional growth? Not likely.

Praying for you.
 
PRAYER TO BLESSED VIRGIN (Never known to fail) O most Beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, fruitful vine, splendor of Heaven. Blessed Mother of the Son of God. Immaculate Virgin, assist me in my necessity. O Star of the Sea, help me and show me herein You are my Mother. O Holy Mary Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and Earth, I humbly beseech You from the bottom of my heart to succour me in the necessity (make request) There are none that can withstand Your power. O show me herein You are my Mother. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee (three times). Holy Mother, I place this cause in your hands (three times.) (3 consecutive days)
Publication must be made and promised in thanks for favours granted.

Thanks for helping me find a job, God Bless!
 
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