Need help explaining 'marriage' / gay marriage

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Elzee

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I was wondering if someone could help me. I’m in an on-line discussion regarding marriage and one person continually brings up that with the high heterosexual divorce rate, how can someone tout that ‘homosexual marriage’ will harm society because the heteros aren’t doing a good job at it. I’m trying to explain that is a side-issue - that what we are really talking about is ‘what marriage is’ - not how well some people do it, but I’m not doing a good job.
I was trying to come up with an analogy but can’t.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to discuss the topic of gay marriage from this type of argument?

thank you!
 
I don’t necessarily consider this a “side” issue.

The way marriage is treated by many Catholics, religious people, and marriage preparation courses is paramount to scandal.

I think the Church continuously needs to look at how it sprepares people for marriage and how the parish communities support marriages

Quite honestly, there some truth to the statement the most damage done to the instiution of marriage has been done by those people who are or have been married themselves!
 
When your house gets dirty and unkempt, do you usually decide that it’s time to clean up, or do you think, ”Oh well; I guess I might as well throw more trash on the floor”?
 
Up until to the 1970s cohabitation, single parenthood and divorce was discouraged. Then advocates started promoting about the need to eliminate stigma from single parenthood, cohabitation and divorce and there were people that warned the fall out from liberalising attitudes and laws would lead to a terrible fall out in society but those voices were mocked or ignored just as opponents to redefining marriage are being mocked or ignored now

The answer to divorce is strengthening marriage not redefining it

Studies have shown gay marriages last for a shorter duration than heterosexual marriages. Research from Stockholm University found that in Norway, male male marriages are 50% more likely to end in divorce than heterosexual marriages, female female marriages are 167% more likely to end in divorce than heterosexual marriages. In Sweden, divorce risk for male gay ‘unions’ is 50% higher than for heterosexual marriages, divorce risk for female gay ‘unions’ is nearly double that
 
because the heteros aren’t doing a good job at it.
In addition to other good posts, you can approach it in a number of ways. One is to simply say, if, hypothetically, gay so-called marriages would result in less divorce than heterosexual marriages (which it doesn’t–we’re talking hypothetical here), that still doesn’t change the fact that a homosexual union CANNOT ontologically be a marriage. It is still impossible. A triangle cannot be a rectangle even if it really, really wants to be.

Additionally, marriage collectively is indeed a sick institution in this age, however, approving gay so-called marriage is not a solution or a help to that problem whatsoever. But what you can point out are some of the causes of that problem, such as no-fault divorce, contraception, abortion, fornication, hypersexualization of media, etc… The Church has always been opposed to these. In the 60s, the Church was against the pill, which has led to the objectification of women, amongst other problems. Pope Paul VI is now known for his accurate predictions back in the 1960s that have come to fruition.

In every case, society gave its seal of approval to a matter regarding sexuality or the genders that the Church warned against approving. In every case, the Church has proven prophetic and correct. And here is the secular culture again, demanding that another perversion of relations between genders be certified, when it is the secular culture’s previous demands that have led to the corrosion of marriage in the first place. And again the Church warns against the perversion. And time will, once again, vindicate the Church if this perversion is certified, and the same secular spirit will turn a blind eye to the Church’s wisdom.
 
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to discuss the topic of gay marriage from this type of argument?
Sure…it’s a terrible argument. The argument boils down to “other people’s bad behavior justifies my bad behavior.”
 
They have a point. But, lowering the bar is not the solution. Elevating marriage and keeping one’s vows are the best answer.

We should be reinforcing real marriage and real families. Because we have failed to do so does not make deviancy valid.
 
The Church hardly asserts that all heterosexual marriages are lived in accordance with the will of God expressed in the moral teaching on marriage & family. The high heterosexual divorce rate is a result of breaking the natural bond of unity in which married couples do not use artificial means of preventing or aborting pregnancy, because having & raising children is an integral part of the union of marriage. People who wanted to have children often suffered in their marriages because of that inability. The commonality of deliberate artificial prevention of birth is a repudiation of the unification of the two persons, “The two shall become one flesh”, in which sexual relations, apart from physical difficulties, commonly result in having children & growing families. Thus a marriage is reduce to mere common life & shared desire and will. That isn’t a marital union at all – so there are a great many heterosexual marriages in which the couples aren’t intending what God intends & the Church teaches about marriage.
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 Same sex relations can't unify the human natures of the couple involved, and, even apart from the moral objectionability of same-sex acts, there is no real marital union, only an intent to share desire and will.
So what the high divorce rate does is to substantiate the Church’s teaching on marriage, and by extension, to support the Church’s insistence that giving same-sex unions the status of marriage would simply result in more damage to families, more damage to persons, more damage to social relations in all aspects.
 
When your house gets dirty and unkempt, do you usually decide that it’s time to clean up, or do you think, ”Oh well; I guess I might as well throw more trash on the floor”?
I think this is good, but kind of afraid to use ‘trash’ as an analogy. This person is easily offended.
 
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