Need Help - Feeling Defeated by Sin

[pwlj_christ87]

hey brothers and sisters I feel like im losing a battle with sin and im starting to feal defeated… the sin that takes over me is lust and all other entanglements which it entails and I am so down about it right now its not well, deep down I have faith and hope but I don’t want to repeat this circle of sin and repentence I want it cured once and for all… any help would be appreciated and why do I still feel guilty after confession?

 

[Mary_Ellen]

Sorry you’re feeling so down and defeated. It may be helpful for you to discuss this difficulty with your confessor or spiritual director.

Maybe praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and/or reading Saint Faustina’s Diary would help you focus on the reality of God’s great mercy. Accept that mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the graces you receive, as well.

A number of folks on the forums struggle with sins of or related to lust - you are not alone. I used to be and have been freed of my addiction through a thorough turning **from **the sin **to **the mercy of God. Realizing what my sin had done not only to me but to my Lord on the cross had a great deal to do with it. **Firm **resolve not to sin again was difficult but with the help of God I was able to put everything behind me.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[pwlj_christ87]

thanks mary, ive been back to the church for the past year or so and its been a great journey… ive felt like I had overcome this sin so many times yet have been confessing it over and over again pretty much this entire year… I think I need to make a firm stand (and seriously get in touch with god ) not like I haven’t before but I need to maybe mentally switch off the sin so to speak…

im bothered with the fact that im often lonely and secluded, and for a guy that has a good personality I find myself spending many of my days alone which is why I feel that every now and then (not a long time but to me it seems that way) I fall into this sin, and I know of the horribleness of it of course when its too late… I wish I had some friends where I could be more human and talk so that I didn’t hav to resort to these things… very open here I know but I have no one else to talk to, it seems most of my friends are consumed with the world and its “entertainment” and I , young adult still finding my way and career am stuck alone

 

[HillbillyHermit]

Maybe praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and/or reading Saint Faustina’s Diary would help you focus on the reality of God’s great mercy. Accept that mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the graces you receive, as well.

Saint Faustina’s Diary is such a great gift to the world! I had some mixed up views of God and combined with being my own worst critic…not a good combination. I really needed to know about God’s mercy, because I’m the type that will condemn myself before the devil will have a chance to when I die. The Virgin Mary can be a great help too, being the Mother of Mercy. I still struggle with my sins, and fall, but the more I pray the less appeal they have.

And maybe schedule some time to talk to a priest.

Once you’ve repented and asked God’s forgiveness…leave it in the past and don’t dwell on it. That could make you fall back into that sin too. It isn’t easy, I know. None of us can do it without Jesus. And He’s also the one with more love and mercy than we can fathom.

 

[kathyhumanist]

Dear Need Help,

You don’t say how old you are but I am imagining that you are a young person…teens or twenties. From my perspective, “lust” is a very, very normal part of human development. It is entirely normal to be physically attracted to other people. Don’t feel that there is anything wrong with you because you are attracted to other people. We would be more worried about you if you were NOT!

Also, in my opinion, whatever you feel in your heart and soul, is NOT a SIN!!! One cannot control or help what they feel in their heart. I am an atheist, and I cannot control that that is how or what I believe or don’t believe. Being attracted to other people, in your case I’m sure it is a heterosexual attraction, is TOTALLY normal and expected! There is nothing bad, or sinful or anything evil about being attracted to someone! How do you feel that "lustful’ is any different from “being attracted” to someone? Whatever your definitions are, what you are feeling is completely normal human nature, and you should not ever be ashamed, or “defeated” or wrong, or sinful because of it! The important thing is how you “behave” no matter how you actually feel.

 

[JRKH]

Dear Need Help,

You don’t say how old you are but I am imagining that you are a young person…teens or twenties. From my perspective, “lust” is a very, very normal part of human development. It is entirely normal to be physically attracted to other people. Don’t feel that there is anything wrong with you because you are attracted to other people. We would be more worried about you if you were NOT!

Also, in my opinion, whatever you feel in your heart and soul, is NOT a SIN!!! One cannot control or help what they feel in their heart. I am an atheist, and I cannot control that that is how or what I believe or don’t believe. Being attracted to other people, in your case I’m sure it is a heterosexual attraction, is TOTALLY normal and expected! There is nothing bad, or sinful or anything evil about being attracted to someone! How do you feel that "lustful’ is any different from “being attracted” to someone? Whatever your definitions are, what you are feeling is completely normal human nature, and you should not ever be ashamed, or “defeated” or wrong, or sinful because of it! The important thing is how you “behave” no matter how you actually feel.

Attraction to other people is indeed quite normal…However, “lust and all other entanglements which it entails…” as the OP expresses it, is something quite different. Lust is defined as a disordered desire and this is how Lust" is different from simply being attracted to another person. Thus the OP is wise to be concerned.

That said, I agree that in many cases we cannot help how we feel - but it is important that we discern the appropriateness of a given set of feelings. This is where the problem arises for the OP. He knows that certain feelings (and associated thoughts and actions) he has are disordered and he wishes to correct this problem.

So - what he thinks (rightly) is not in line with what he “feels” and it is his (appropriate) desire that these two things mesh and in this case, it is the feelings that need to change since it is the feelings that are disordered.

Hope this helps you understand.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

hey brothers and sisters I feel like im losing a battle with sin and im starting to feal defeated… the sin that takes over me is lust and all other entanglements which it entails and I am so down about it right now its not well, deep down I have faith and hope but I don’t want to repeat this circle of sin and repentence I want it cured once and for all… any help would be appreciated and why do I still feel guilty after confession?

Well I can offer you something that helped me overcome one of my persistant sins.

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of the one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross.

As a corollary to the idea of our sin putting Him there, consider how his cross is the accumulation of our sins. Each time we sin, the cross gets heavier…Each time we resist sin, the cross gets lighter.

Between this and praying the rosary at night I was able to defeat the habit.

As to the matter of why you still feel guilty after confession…there are a couple of possibilities. One is that even though you have repented and confessed, you still retain a latent attachment to the sin (as evidenced by repeatedly falling back into the sin). This attachment to the sin means that there is still conflict going on even right after confession.
The other possibility is that the guilt is actually God’s grace working in you to build up your defenses against future backsliding. The guilt is intended to create a great aversion to the sin and thus help you avoid it in the future.

The most likely answer though is that what is going on is a combination of the two things.

That’s my take on the issue

Peace
James

 

[Lancer]

A few points for your consideration:

Our Lord Jesus Christ is not afraid of your sins…either committed by being overpowered by the devil…by the world you live in…or your concupiscence of the flesh…Christ is more powerful than all these causes of your sins…singular or collectively…he has attained victory over them all. Read the gospel accounts of the Woman at the Well [John 4: 1-41)
Jesus and the Woman of Samaria]…Mary Magdalena and the casting out of her demons [Luke 7: 36-50 & Luke 8: 1-3]…the Adulteress Woman brought to him by the scribes and Pharisees John 8: 1-11]…He did not flinch or blink…He ain’t afraid of you or your worse sins. Focus on Christ not yourself…self is where the problem of sin starts…it only ends in Christ…not you and not me!

As Pope Francis said at a Sunday* Angelus* ( I think his first or second one after being Seated in the Chair of Peter)…(paraphrasing)…Jesus never…ever gets tired of bestowing mercy on us for our sins…we get tired of asking…but he doesn’t! So…ask for mercy in prayer ASAP…the get to a priest for the Sacrament of Confession…ASAP…and forget about who your confessor priest will be…pray to the Holy Spirit to make a good confession and speak to Jesus by name in the confessional…not the priest who is in persona Christi. If the priest is a childhood friend…an uncle… a brother…don’t blink…the priest has graces to hear…forgive…forget…and think nothing less of the sinner, especially if he knows who the sinner is.

Lastly…picture this…

…You enter your house/apt…the living room…as you step inside the doorway…you cringe as you clearly and truthfully see that it’s a trashy mess…it’s a pigsty…stuff everywhere…food bags with leftover fast food burgers…pizza cartons with rotting slices left over…booze bottles all over the place, cigarette butts all over the floor and overflowing ashtrays…dirty laundry and clothes strewn all over the room…carpets and furniture that are stained, and has ashes and cigarette burns all over them…dirty dishes and glasses left all over the room and on the floor…roaches, ants and rats running all over the place…and the room stinks so bad you hold your breath

…then you see a man sitting right in the center of your filthy couch…the couch is facing the TV…so you see him from his back…he is dressed in a bright dazzling white tunic…and mysteriously not a spot of the couch’s filth has stained his tunic…he is calmly and quietly just sitting there with his arms stretched out across the top-back of the couch…he is just waiting.

…in a near hearth attack panic…you realize its the Lord Jesus…and you panic and start apologizing for the mess and the filth and start scurrying around behind the couch…to pick up the trash…but, still sitting and looking straight ahead…he raises his right hand slowly…and says calmly “…sit down my friend…I’ll clean up the mess”…and adds…"…what makes you think that you can clean this mess up anyway my friend…after all…you are the one who made it!"

…now you realize where you are…you entered your soul and are seeing your sins based on the Light of Christ…and the clarity is overwhelming…you never see his face…and he doesn’t turn around and look at you…he just makes you sit down…starts cleaning and when he is done everything is spotless and new…now you are sitting on a showroom couch…and Jesus comes up from behind you…gives you a plate of life-giving and nourishing bread…and as takes a piece…says a blessing…and breaks the bread…he disappears…but you are clean and alive and filled with grateful joy…as you consume the life-giving bread.

This is my explanation of the truth…

**** Isaiah 63:7
Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSV-CE)****
God’s Mercy Remembered

7 I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord,
the praises of the Lord,
according to all that the Lord has granted us,
and the great goodness to the house of Israel
which he has granted them** according to his mercy,
according to the abundance of his steadfast love**.

Wisdom 3:9
Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSV-CE)

9 Those who** trust in him will understand truth**,
and the faithful will abide with him in love,
because grace and mercy are upon his elect,
and he watches over his holy ones.

Pax Christi

 

[Zekariya]

Your sins are forgiven in the Sacrament of Penance. Keep getting up. Every time that you fall, get back up. The fact that we get up after we fall is what distinguishes us from the wicked:

Proverbs 24:16 For a just man shall fall seven times, and shall rise again: but the wicked shall fall down into evil.