Need help finding my way

[Lost_Girl]

I’m 26 yrs old from Belfast in Ireland. I live with my boyfriend of 8 yrs. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My mother raissed us single handedly when my father died 12 yrs ago. This was when my ife changed completely. i was only 14 at the time.

My daddy was like my best friend. His nickname for me was his ‘Shadow’. He could go nowhere without me crying to go with him. i absolutely loved him. he was the kind of daddy that wasn’t afraid to show how proud he was of his kids. he was at every sports day, every play, every major event that i or my brothers and sisters had.

when he was only 48 he was diagnosed with bowl cancer. my eldest brother was 19 and my youngest sister was just 7. unfortunately after an operation to investigate the seriousness of the cancer the doctors informed us that the cancer had spread. he was given a course of cemo and radio therpay to give him a few extra months. he survived for 8 months.

my daddy was loved by many a man. he took care of his family, his friends and his community. he would never turn a person from his door that needed help. our home was often used as drop in for people in the area.

his death had a big impact on all of our lives.

since the moment of his death i have struggled with my Catholic faith, my parents always raised us as Catholics. every sunday morning we went to mass as a family, we said our prayers at night etc. but all this changed when he died.

i couldn’t pray to a God that would take such an angel from this earth. an angel that helped so many people, an angel that always did the right thing, an angel that always saw the best in people. i was, and to be honest i still am, angry that he had to die so young. he has missed so much since he died. he missed my sisters wedding, my university graduation, his 4 beautiful grand daughters.

over the years my anger hasn’t gone. i find new things to be angry with him (God) all the the time.

my life has got to the stage where, although i am happy in some sense of the word, in others i feel that something is missing. i’m not sure if religion is what my life is missing, but i know that i definitely need something to believe in, to help me through hard time, and to give me a purpose.

i wouldn’t say that i’m depressed, but i have my moments where i’m so emotional that all i can do is cry. i know it all steams from daddy’s death, i know i haven’t dealt with his death yet, but i don’t know how 2.

thats wyi have joined this site. i’m hoping that someone out there can provide a bit of help. i’m not asking for miracles. i just need some advice. what i should do to fnd myself.

please help.

 

[the_phoenix]

My father just died.
Boy do I miss him.

As for you,
your angel as you call your father
would want you to
frequent the sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion,
attend Mass,
and practice your Catholic Faith.
He wants to see you in Heaven!

~~ the phoenix

 

[EmeraldWings]

If i could i would reach out and give you a hug, that is such a hard thing to go through, especially at that age,
but i think first of all you need to understand, that your father is still alive, and happy, and is watching you and your family, and praying for you all,
he loves you still, and now even more,
we never know why God takes people when He does, but we can always be sure His reasons are out of love, because He is love,
God always puts our immortal souls first, before our attachments to each other, before our feelings, because if the soul is lost, then all is lost.

I know it’s hard and you want to blame God for this because God is the one who says when someone dies, but just think, you can see your father again, he is waiting for you, you must die someday to, just as we all do, and God wants to be with you to,
God doesn’t hate you, He loves you and wants more than anything for you to be in heaven with Him,
He loves you so much that He is even willing to be patient and put up with you being angry with Him, and really you have to understand that that is rather amazing, God, who has the power and quite frankly the right to cast us into hell, is patient with our sins, by which we crucified His son, and instead offers us heaven,
that is truly amazing, God doesn’t owe us anything, but He still gives without reserve,
we own nothing, and owe God everything, but what can we give Him that He has not given us? all God wants is our love.

your father, if you could speak to him, would no doubt tell you “Do not be angry with God, i am with Him and He loves you so much!”
it is true, God would do anything for you, He has even died for you, He thinks of you constantly,
God loves us and does so much for us, even though we do not deserve it in the least, how can we ever repay such goodness and love? even though you are angry with Him, He will forgive you.

God took your father, but He didn’t take Him from earth…instead He took Him *to *heaven,
God has taken even the greatest of saints at very young ages, and perhaps the reason being, because He could not bear to be without them any longer, maybe it was so with your father…

Our motive for getting to heaven should be our love for God, but until you reconcile yourself with God, instead use your father as a motive to get to heaven, to see him again,
and then work on loving God at the same time, because God really doesn’t want you to be hurt or sad, God is sad when you are to,
God loves us more than we can ever imagine, more than we’ll ever understand, He longs for us to so much as glance at Him, and He only thinks of us, never of Himself…and yet He always gets the worst treatment from us, who thinks of Gods feelings? how does He feel…i can’t help but feel sad whenever i hear of someone who is angry with God, for both God and that person, it’s so easy to blame God because we cannot see Him, but if we ever saw Jesus cry, i am certain our hearts would break.

this life is very short, you will see your father again, pray for him, and ask him to pray for you, and speak to him to, he can hear you,

well, i really hope this helps, but even if it doesn’t, i will be praying for you, ok, take care.

 

[Della]

I too lost my father at a young age. He was only 35 when he died of a coronary occulsion. My mother died of the same thing a few years late at age 59–that is my inheritance and my family’s history.

It’s only natural to mourn the loss of our loved ones, especially when they die, as we think, before their time. No one can say why some people get fatal diseases and others don’t. Sometimes it’s an occupational hazard to develop such illnesses. In any case, no one lives forever as we are now. We all grow older and we all die. Coming to terms with that truth can be very hard for us, but as Catholics we are not without hope. We know our loved ones are with God. Your father and my parents were all good people who loved God and followed him as best they knew how. We should pray for the repose of their souls, but we shouldn’t be angry at Love Himself who now holds them in his loving arms and from whose arms they see us and pray for us night and day.

You father would want you to be happy, not constantly mourning his death and being angry with God over it. You need God and you need to love God to be truly happy. That was the secret of your father’s goodness, and the kind of goodness he wants for you, as well.

Return to the Church. Go to confession, regularize your relationship with your live in boyfriend and be happy again. Your father is right there waiting for you and praying for you. Don’t disappoint him, dear one. :console: You have my condolences and my prayers.

 

[Trishie]

Sweetheart, I understand a little . My lovely mother died at age 43 leaving behind nine children ranging from 18 to four years old. She was a generous kind woman. Can you imagine a little how it was for my Dad and each of us? But it wasn’t God’s fault
It doesn’t mean God took her. We are human and she suddenly died of a pulmonary embolism.

God didn’t give your Dad bowel cancer, nor did God give my Dad the cancer he died of in June this year. My Dad had bowel cancer years ago but it was caught in time.

Illness results from various things including diet, environment, genetic predisposition.

Dying of an illness even at a young age doesn’t mean God caused it or didn’t care. Saint Therese of Lisieux’s mother died of breast cancer…not because God caused it but whatever human cause, and because there was then no treatment.

Therese was only four, and she suffered anxiety issues for a few years, but it was all part of her journey, as your dear Dad’s loss is part of your journey. Perhaps you might like to ask Saint Therese to pray for you, for your healing, for your wholesome journey to God

St Therese died of illness at a young age. The newly canonized saint of my country, St Mary MacKillop suffered strokes…it isn’t uncaring by God, it’s the frail human body. Sometimes unfortunately illness isn’t caught in time, but the causes are human no divine.

We miss the ones we love, like my brother who died in a single fiery car accident in 2002 because he drove when he was tired.
My Dad also was a great and generous man and he many times expressed the pride he had in each of us. He achieved a great deal in the community right until a few months before he died. Even though some seem to give so much more than others…it doesn’t mean that they don’t succumb to illness…

I guess we get angry with God for all kinds of things that are really consequences to what we and others do and don’t do, the choices we make, the choices others make…it’s easy to blame God, not ours or others choices and circumstances.

You still have unresolved hurt and anger and perhaps you are accustomed to directing it at God. At least that shows you still have faith in God! Or why would you be angry at God.

Your Dad was a good Catholic and I’m sure he is praying for his darling girl to return to his God and the Church he was so faithful to. He will keep on praying and will be so joyful when you do return to the Sacraments and live the Catholic life he lovingly raised you to.

May God bless and embrace you

 

[raaucoin]

Your father sounds like a wonderful man. I am sorry for your physical loss and for the loss to the world. But as others have said, God didn’t take him away to cause any one pain, God took him to Himself- to his reward for being such a good and faithful servant. I am sure that with all of the wonderful things he did on earth to bring the love of God to others, now he is continuing in his charity by his prayerful and powerful intercession at the throne of God.

I pray that Our Blessed Mother will hold comfort you and hold you close to her heart. She is eager to have you experience the comfort and peace of her Son. Let her lead you to Him. And remember, as Christians, we are the only faith who has a God who cries with us.
May His tears bring you comfort.