Need Help Forgiving and Moving Past Harm Done By a Former Friend

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pensmama87

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About a year and a half ago I discovered that the person who I thought was my best friend had been manipulating me for her own ends (when she “dumped” me for no longer being useful.) I’ve been through a lot of crud since then, including repeated harassment from her. I have told no one among our mutual friends what happened. She enjoys seemingly closer relationships with our friends - friends I introduced her to - while I feel like I have been pushed out.

I am praying for peace and to forgive her - again. I have been in counseling and have done some very important work, but I know that forgiveness needs to be ongoing and despite my wishes I am probably going to cross paths with her again.

I would appreciate any prayers you could offer for me. Thanks.
 
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance & direction in your time of need. Praying for your intentions.
 
pensmama87 said:
About a year and a half ago I discovered that the person who I thought was my best friend had been manipulating me for her own ends (when she “dumped” me for no longer being useful.) I’ve been through a lot of crud since then, including repeated harassment from her. I have told no one among our mutual friends what happened. She enjoys seemingly closer relationships with our friends - friends I introduced her to - while I feel like I have been pushed out.

I am praying for peace and to forgive her - again. I have been in counseling and have done some very important work, but I know that forgiveness needs to be ongoing and despite my wishes I am probably going to cross paths with her again.

I would appreciate any prayers you could offer for me. Thanks.
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😦

I hope you don’t mind if I share with you a previous post on forgiveness that I believe may help you.

Part 1
Part 2

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
I know how upsetting this is emotionally for you. Praying for you to find peace with this situation.
 
Pray for her everyday, offer rosaries for her. Pray a novena for the strength to forgive her. When tempted, think of all the times God forgave you in the confessional. Think of when Jesus forgave those who put Him on the cross. Remember when St. John Paul II forgave the man who tried to assassinate him, plus that man who tried to kill him ended up converting. Forgiving someone is very difficult, but the rewards of forgiving our enemies are absolutely rewarding. The example you show her by forgiving her could really speak to her heart when she notices, and she may have a conversion as well.
Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)
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Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen. :signofcross:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen. :signofcross:
 
Father God, please heal the hurts in pensmama87’s heart. Please give her a special grace to be able to forgive this person once and for all. Please let any future interactions between them be peaceful and a non-event. Please send true friends into pensmama87’s life. :signofcross:
 
You may also wish to pray to St. Michael, both the St. Michael prayer as well as the St. Michael chaplet. And pray to your guardian angel for protection, and pray for this person at Mass.

Others have posted to you, and very well, on the forgiveness aspect … I’m posting more about you asking God for protection and peace between yourself and this person.

…
 
Praying for you to find the way to forgiveness.

Memorare

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Good job on recognizing this is the right thing to do. Prayers said for your intentions.
 
Forgiveness is not just for the person being forgiven. It is for the benefit of the person doing the forgiving.

I personally have found the best way to forgive someone is to take the pain that person is causing me and offer it up to God for the benefit of her soul. (If she is aware of how she is hurting you, you might consider letting her know that you are doing this.)

Praying that you will find the grace to forgive her wholly and completely, even if she continues to hurt you.
 
Holy Michael the Archangel defend us in the day of battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Power of God,
thrust down to hell satan and all the wicked spirits,
who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Remember, O most loving Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
Prayer for Enemies

Lord Jesus Christ, Who didst command us to love our enemies, and those who defame and injure us, and to pray for them and forgive them; Who Thyself didst pray for Thine enemies, who crucified thee:

Grant us, we pray, the spirit of Christian reconciliation and meekness, that we may heartily forgive every injury and be reconciled with our enemies.

Grant us to overcome the malevolence and offenses of people with Christian meekness and true love of our neighbor. We further beseech Thee, O Lord, to grant to our enemies true peace and forgiveness of sins; and do not allow them to leave this life without true faith and sincere conversion.

And help us repay evil with goodness, and to remain safe from the temptations of the devil and from all the perils which threaten us, in the form of visible and invisible enemies. Amen.

:signofcross:

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Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Praying for you to find peace. Hope Jesus will speak to you through the words of the counselor.
 
Quote in a Parish Bulletin: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” --Lewis Smedes from The Heart That Gives – In time, this will have more meaning to you. I was quick to forgive my friend, but she kept control by not forgiving me. That is what I had to get past. God bless you.
 
Hail Mary, Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee,
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God ,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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