Need help in dating from the married

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anon91549587

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Hi , i need advise regarding married life from the couples here. Not safe to be read by minors so i have to correspond by dm . But briefly its about getting married to someone you dont have physical attraction for . Thanks !
 
The moment i go out with someone im attracted to . The chance of sinning increases.
 
LOL thats an interesting way to look at it. But no, later in marriage it can cause sin because of a lack of interest physically not to mention a higher probability of divorce.

That’s a new one though. Date people you aren’t attracted to so you don’t give in to sin. Pretty short sighted. Marriage will be highly physical. And it gets uglier for both people. passing gas, the flu, aging, etc you better be attracted to them to start. Because oohhhh doggies are you in for it if you aren’t
 
if you’re not mature enough to be able to control yourself sexually on a date, then you’re not mature enough to be dating.

Dating people you find unattractive is not the answer and is going to lead to a dozen other kinds of sin. Starting with the sin of being dishonest with the person and leading them to think that you find them attractive enough to date, unless of course you are going to announce at the beginning of the date, “I’m dating you because I find you unattractive and this will keep me from committing any sins of lust with you during our date.” Which is likely to make for a very short first date and no second date.
 
I recall goofing around with this idea in other posts–the idea that people should only date those to whomst they are not attracted in order to avoid the occasion of sin. 😁😆
 
I talked with a friend about this and asked if he was initially physically attracted to his girlfriend when they first met and he said no. Now they’re engaged and I’m going to his wedding this summer.
 
anon91549587 said:
its about getting married to someone you dont have physical attraction for .
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You don’t need a private message. If you are not physically attracted to the person, do not marry them. Sexual intimacy is a big part of marriage.
 
I feel so lousy as a full grown man after reading all the replies. Night after night i abstain and sometimes feel the burn only to realise this is the real war.
 
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jtwp5 said:
I talked with a friend about this and asked if he was initially physically attracted to his girlfriend when they first met and he said no. Now they’re engaged and I’m going to his wedding this summer
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That can happen. Attraction can and does grow.

Some people who aren’t initially interested romantically can change their minds. They can grow to be attracted and can find deep abiding love for one another.

And some people who ARE physically attracted initially may never develop a relationship of deep abiding love and go their separate ways.

That’s the purpose of dating— to discover more.

What we are saying is that if attractioj doesn’t grow, at all, you should not keep dating or marry.
 
Ok, I guess that makes sense. Idk, I’ve been thinking about dating recently. It seems like my romantic desires finally got lit up after being depressed for quite awhile. There’s 2 girls I’m interested in. One I don’t feel physically attracted to but she’s just a joyous and loving person and that’s beautiful. But the more I thought about it the less sure I was of asking her. Other one I feel some physical attraction towards. I don’t know her very well, was thinking of asking her if she wanted to grab coffee sometime. I feel like physical attraction is a bit fleeting for me and I don’t want to lead anyone on.
 
Asking two different girls out to coffee is fine. It’s not a big romantic commitment, it’s just coffee. It isn’t “leading anyone on”. It’s just coffee.

Might lead to friendship, might lead to romance, might lead nowhere. You never know until you try.
 
If you’re only dating people you aren’t physically attracted to just to keep from sinning, then what is it about them that makes you want to ask them out in the first place?

There must be something that attracts you. Is the girl a friend whose personality lights up the room? Is it her sense of humor? Her knowledge of current events or trivia? Hopefully, you aren’t just asking a girl out as a pity date.
 
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