Need help to be a better parent

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Irish_Girl_68

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Hi there. Please pray for me to be a better parent. I’m not sure what I’ve done wrong or continue to do wrong or whatever, but I’m just at a loss. I have a 15 year old who is so horrid at times that I can honestly say (to myself anyway) that I’m almost ashamed she’s my child. She’s a very attractive girl and this unfortunately has attracted a lot of male attention. Needless to say, she’s failed a couple of different times (no more than that as she’s been monitored pretty heavily since then) from a purity standpoint. I have tried very hard to remain calm and rational about this. I’ve tried explaining the need to remain pure, God’s wishes for her, practical matters regarding how men will treat her (and how they should), health issues, ec. It’s pointless. She doesn’t care.To her, pre-marital sex is ‘no big deal if you love each other.’ Yecch.

Beyond that, she lies contstantly. I honestly couldn’t trust her if my life depended upon it. It’s so bad that if she tells me one thing, I believe the opposite. Again, I have tried explaing from a moral standponit, a practical standpoint, etc. etc.

I sound like the nagging, horrible mother. But, the fact is, I’m just tired. I see a lot of good in her and I try to focus on that as much as possible. But she has some significant character flaws and I’m just not sure what I can or should do about them anymore.

Anyway, sorry to go on with this, but prayers that I would be a more effective parent would be very appreciated. Thanks and God Bless
 
Please don’t beat yourself up too much. Your daughter’s choices are her own.
There are influences upon her, upon many young people, outside of the parental influences.

I’ll pray for you both. I know this is heartbreaking for you.

And I ask You, Holy Spirit to help this distressed mother to know how best to handle her daughter for the best outcomes.
Please grant the prayers of her heart and help her to get through this difficult period of their lives.
I also ask You to find ways to seep good and holy perspectives into her daughter’s mind, soul, and choices.
 
That is really rough. May I suggest a book called Parenting with Grace by Greg Popcak? I didn’t agree with everything he said, but there were a lot of things that I did agree with, and I think that might help come up with some strategies for you.

And, I know when I first returned to the Church and had some problem the priest sugggested I pray about it, and I was like, Hey! I have to take some real action!!! But I heard a great story about a family which was not altogether… together, and the parents started being devoted to the Sacred Heart, and then their family pulled together. Not everything went perfectly, their sick newborn grandchild died, but lived long enough so the parents changed their minds about baptism. So I am not saying that everything will become just the way you want it, but that God will give you *all *more grace.

She really does want you to do something about all this, even tho she wo’t admit it and will resist, but be firm with her and you’ll probably need to be drastic. Popcak has benefits tied to proper accomplishment of duties, but in a training kind of way rather than punitive. I hope you all are able to work things out, because your daughter will thank you for it one day.
 
Dear sister,
Parents are the first role models for children in childhood they constantly are seeking for attention & love from parents & family members which if denied in the proper quantity & quality they go out to find it & in absence of of knowledge of the scriptures fall to lust which they mistake for love, reading the scriptures particularly from the book of Saint Paul & reflecting on the life of Mother Theresa could enlighten the mind of your daughter & her friends who have picked up wrong ideas about sex.

Me & my family will definitly keep your daughter in our daily prayer.

May peace & Grace of Jesus be with you & your family,
Stanley Lobo
 
stanley_Lobo said:
love from parents & family members which if denied in the proper quantity & quality they go out to find it
Click to expand...
Sometimes though, a child is given a generally good upbringing with love and the world still pulls them hard enough to have temporary outcomes such as these.

OP, my kids are much younger than your dtr so I have no experience whatsoever…but it sounds like you’re doing the right things, and not allowing the discouragement to sway your commitment to prayer and firmness on these moral issues. Others have had good advice. Perhaps you can also offer up every single suffering she causes you, for her salvation. Maybe you can bless her bedroom with holy water when she’s gone? And pray to her guardian angel? I suppose these are things I will do when my kids are a little older. Maybe one of these years your daughter will have a wonderful “conversion” story to share with others and be an inspiration for young people.

Prayers, and God bless you.

Editing to add: I forgot this was the Prayer Intentions category…so I apologize for the lengthy post! Will remember your daughter in my prayers as well. May God give you direction and peace.
 
Loving God,

We thank you for your many blessings in our lives, and today we especially thank you for the awareness and ability to evaluate our own behavior and adjust where needed to help others on their journey of faith.

We lift up our intentions for Irish Girl 68 and ask you to bless her with strength, courage, and perseverance in the face of grave difficulty and challenges in her relationship with her dear daughter. Lord, we know you love us and what us to follow the path you have chosen for us - we ask that you send your comforting and consoling Holy Spirit to guide Irish Girl 68, and to bless her with the ability to listen to you in prayer. Please also influence and guide dear daughter, and help her to make better choices and hear your call to her as well, dear Lord. We are often very anxious and worried about how things are going in our lives, and it is natural and very human to do so. Please help this dear mother to know that this period in her daughter’s life will pass, although the journey will be rocky and very challenging, and help her to maintain a relationship and influence that assists dear daughter in her personal growth and ability to make decisions that are life giving and positive in her life.

Please bless this family and hear the persistent prayers for them now, dear Lord. Please help dear mother to hang in there despite the trials and great disappointment she feels at this time.

We pray in the name of your beloved son Jesus, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever.

Amen.
 
Heavenly Father, we lift this mother and daughter up to You. Give this mother encouragement and help in raising her daughter. Guide her as to what to say, what not to say, what to do and what not to do. Be her wisdom. Graciously protect her daughter and we ask that Your Holy Spirit guide her into Truth. Open her ears, eyes and mind to hear You and Your will for her. Bless this mother who loves her daughter so much she wants what is best for her. In the precious name of Your Beloved Son, Jesus our Lord. Amen.

mlz:highprayer::crossrc:
 
Loving God,

We thank you for your many blessings in our lives, and today we especially thank you for the awareness and ability to evaluate our own behavior and adjust where needed to help others on their journey of faith.

We lift up our intentions for Irish Girl 68 and ask you to bless her with strength, courage, and perseverance in the face of grave difficulty and challenges in her relationship with her dear daughter. Lord, we know you love us and what us to follow the path you have chosen for us - we ask that you send your comforting and consoling Holy Spirit to guide Irish Girl 68, and to bless her with the ability to listen to you in prayer. Please also influence and guide dear daughter, and help her to make better choices and hear your call to her as well, dear Lord. We are often very anxious and worried about how things are going in our lives, and it is natural and very human to do so. Please help this dear mother to know that this period in her daughter’s life will pass, although the journey will be rocky and very challenging, and help her to maintain a relationship and influence that assists dear daughter in her personal growth and ability to make decisions that are life giving and positive in her life.

Please bless this family and hear the persistent prayers for them now, dear Lord. Please help dear mother to hang in there despite the trials and great disappointment she feels at this time.

We pray in the name of your beloved son Jesus, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever.

Amen.
 
Praying for you to have the wisdom, patience and love to be a good parent …
 
I have some experience with this as a sibling of mine was very much a ‘problem child’. I will pray for you.
 
OP - be gentle with yourself, and stay hopeful 🙂

Prayer in Honor of the Holy Family

O God, Heavenly Father, it was part of Thine eternal decree that Thine only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, the Savior of the human race, should form a holy family with Mary, His blessed mother, and His foster father, Saint Joseph. In Nazareth, home life was sanctified, and a perfect example was given to every Christian family. Grant, we beseech Thee, that we may fully comprehend and faithfully imitate the virtues of the Holy Family so that we may be united with them one day in their heavenly glory. Through the same Christ our Lord, Amen.
 
I will pray that God will give you wisdom in the words you say and the actions you take each day in dealing with your daughter. In Jesus name. Amen.
 
Irish Girl

Ask a group of 10 parents of teenage girls what happens to a girl these days at about age 13. 9 of 10 will tell you that their daughter was suddenly posessed by a demon and the tenth is in denial.

And it seems to happen in the worst way to girls who are the sweetest and closest to their parents before they hit 13. Please remember, as James Dobson said (to paraphrase), that if you get a child from age 13 to 18 alive then you did a good job.

Hold on to the Faith, hold on to firm moral standards, cling to the Church and pray! We will pray with you. I have been there having raised a teenage daughter several years ago, and I’ve seen the wreckage in the faces of my family and friends who tried raising a teenage daughter in these times. It is hard, it makes you doubt yourself, and it makes you cry alot.

But don’t forget to try and have fun and be open when she wants to talk. This new chapter as a parent takes a whole new set of listening skills and you have to be very patient - especially try to hold down your reactions when you feel shocked or angry by something that your daughter says or does. You are now fighting the Enemy where he has made his evil designs very powerful in our culture. Teenagers are full of hormones and the culture is swirling about them like a tornado and they are scared, angry, confused and easily led astray.

Remember, God has already won the Victory so you are not helpless nor hopeless. Hang on with your fingernails if you have to and we will pray with you! You’ve done the best thing you can do in a situation like this: CALL FOR HELP!
 
One more thing Irish Girl…and I hope it gives you some comfort.

My daughter had several boyfriends from 13 to 18. I found some letters from her and to her and know she was having sex with at least one of those boys. She tried drugs, she drank, she lied, she lied, and then lied again. She told her friends I was physically abusive (untrue).

She told one boyfriend that she hated her mother and me and wished something would happen to us so she could get away from us.

Today, Irish Girl, my 25 year-old daughter has a degree in business, has her own place a few hours away, a good job, and we visit about every two or three months. We talk or text message every week and although she is not committed to any faith choice, I see she has the lean towards coming back to the Faith.

I never could have seen the good times and the special relationship I have with my daughter 10 years ago. Hang on!
 
God bless you azchurch. I’m sure your experience will encourage Irish girl. It’s not easy being a parent is it.
I opened the thread to say a prayer for I G and her daughter, and was pleased to see what you’d written. As my Dad, father of nine once said, “You think you’re doing things the right way. and it seems to turn out to be wrong…but in the end, you realize it was right after all.”

God bless you Irish Girl, and may God’s grace flood over you and your daughter.
 
Please know that I pray for you. . . I am also a mom, and I know how difficult it can be at times. Please be strong and know that every time she rebukes you, she is acknowledging your love. Please be strong and don’t give up. My heavenly Father, I ask that you please send the Holy Spirit down on this mortal mother, who needs the support and love to minister to her daughter at this crucial age and time. She wants her to live a holy life, and please place her feet on that path. I ask this in the name of Your son, Jesus
 
Been there, done that and wished they came with instructions.

St Joesph please help this person w/ their parenting concerns. It is so hard raising children. Please Blessed Mother help this family, the times make everything harder, I believe. In Jesus’ name I pray :crossrc:

Peace and all good
 
Heavenly Father, we lift this mother and daughter up to You. Give this mother encouragement and help in raising her daughter. Guide her as to what to say, what not to say, what to do and what not to do. Be her wisdom. Graciously protect her daughter and we ask that Your Holy Spirit guide her into Truth. Open her ears, eyes and mind to hear You and Your will for her. Bless this mother who loves her daughter so much she wants what is best for her. In the precious name of Your Beloved Son, Jesus our Lord. Amen.

mlz
 
Loving God,

We thank you for your many blessings in our lives, and today we especially thank you for the awareness and ability to evaluate our own behavior and adjust where needed to help others on their journey of faith.

We lift up our intentions for Irish Girl 68 and ask you to bless her with strength, courage, and perseverance in the face of grave difficulty and challenges in her relationship with her dear daughter. Lord, we know you love us and what us to follow the path you have chosen for us - we ask that you send your comforting and consoling Holy Spirit to guide Irish Girl 68, and to bless her with the ability to listen to you in prayer. Please also influence and guide dear daughter, and help her to make better choices and hear your call to her as well, dear Lord. We are often very anxious and worried about how things are going in our lives, and it is natural and very human to do so. Please help this dear mother to know that this period in her daughter’s life will pass, although the journey will be rocky and very challenging, and help her to maintain a relationship and influence that assists dear daughter in her personal growth and ability to make decisions that are life giving and positive in her life.

Please bless this family and hear the persistent prayers for them now, dear Lord. Please help dear mother to hang in there despite the trials and great disappointment she feels at this time.

We pray in the name of your beloved son Jesus, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever.

Amen.
 
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