M
minkymurph
Guest
Your mother has said she would not refuse Holy Communion in a Catholic Church. However, has she said she wants to receive it , or intends to receive it on the particular day in question? Irrespective of what you’re mother chooses to do, I would say your conscience can be clear. If someone receives Holy Communion who shouldn’t, that is between them and God, not you and God. I know a priest who teaches Religious Education in a Catholic University. He said if someone approached him whom he thought was not Catholic, he would give them Holy Communion. If they made a regular habit of it, he would approach them privately and ask them why they were receiving it and ask them if they had ever considered becoming Catholic. However, I appreciate I live in a different culture and not only would a Protestant receiving Holy Communion be considered a big step here, a non-Catholic attending a Mass would be considered a big step. I remember being at a funeral were the priest payed tribute to all the non-Catholics in attendance in the Homily. It was obvious as they didn’t kneel, didn’t know things and didn’t receive Holy Communion. He expressed his appreciation for the fact they were willing to attend to support those who had lost someone.
It probably is no big deal to your mother as she does not share our belief in Real Presence. I would also say that the Church does say that under special circumstances, non-Catholics can receive Holy Communion if they profess a belief in Real Presence. If your mother does not believe that, I appreciate it is problematic for you. In my part of the world, lots of non-Catholics would attend a wedding or funeral in a Catholic Church. In this situation, the priest in my Parish often says if anyone who cannot receive Holy Communion for whatever reason may approach the priest (not the minister of the Eucharist) with their arms crossed and receive a blessing. Is this something you can suggest and talk to the priest and your mother about, rather than don’t receive Holy Commuion?
However, I can appreciate how you feel. I don’t think people should receive Holy Communion in a Catholic Church if they do not believe in Real Presence. A friend of mine who is a Calvinist once asked me why the Church would not give Holy Communion to anyone who was not Catholic. I said it was because when the priest presents the Host and says, ‘the body of Christ,’ the response is Amen - in other words, I agree this is the body of Christ. If you do not believe that, how can you say Amen and why would you want to receive it? I don’t mean to sound cold or flippant, but if she receives Holy Communion when she shouldn’t it is not your problem. Whatever happens on the day I would say your conscience is clear, as it is between your mother and God.
In addition, God works in mysterious ways. It is possible your mother may be drawn to Catholicism if there is no great fuss if you get my drift. My Calvinist friend attended my children’s baptism. She didn’t participate, but she came and now has a more tolerant view of Catholicism and understands what we believe to a greater extent. My in-laws did not because they were baptized in a Catholic Church, irrespective of the fact they are Anglican, hot on having children baptized and it is the same baptism. My husband would not have had them baptized at all. He did not come to the baptism, but he got all the food ready for us coming back to the house, and he stood right by me concerning the children’s baptism and going to a Catholic school. He really let his parents have it, telling them that is what we had decided and they could like it or lump it. He was a great support to me when it was tough. I’m a convert to Catholicism and while my husband wanted nothing to do with it, he bought me a present - a lovely music box that plays Ave Maria with a picture of Jean Paul II on it and a set of rosary beads inside, and had a party for me when I became Catholic. When my eldest son received his first Holy Communion, my husband was working in Saudi. My son wanted a friend of ours who is like an uncle to my kids to come. He is and an atheist. I said to him on the phone I did not want to pressurize him, I would understand if he did not come and would not see it as a sign of conversion if he did. I would know he was coming for my son and no other reason. He came. In addition, I go on the Parish trip to Lourdes each year. This friend has a lot of health issues, and he has said he may come some year.
In short, people may have different ideas, but they can be more on your side than what you think. I remember a priest saying to me you need your family and you need their support, as do your children. Don’t alienate them. Try and see things from their point of view. Who knows? Your mother may be more likely to embrace Catholicism by giving her a bit of leeway than stringently adhering to the rule book.
