Need Help with Alcohol Problem

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jtindell

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Greetings, all.
I have had a problem with addiction for 10 years now and I need help. Yesterday was my sons’ 16 Birthday and I ended up drinking and ruining his special day. After a sort of ‘intervention with my family, I have promised to quit. I just can’t stand to keep hurting them like this. I have to quit now.
My husband has taken away my car and I has only agreed to drive me to Mass and AA meeting for the period of one month. This is to prove to my family that I can get centered and maintain sobriety. I need to earn my husband and my childrens’ trust back and this is how we agreed to start the process.
Please, please if you have any experience in AA, I’m begging you to help me. I’m only posting like this here in Catholic Answers Forum because I’ve never been steered wrong here before. I am praying that someone can offer me a life-line. Who is the Saint that can help me? Are there any good reliable and safe websites for people in Recovery?
Yesterday was my quit date, my sons’ birthday.
Please help me, if you can. PM me or email me or even just respond on this thread.
Thank you so much,
In Christ,
Jen
 
I will be praying for you!!

It’s great that you are asking for help, you will not be able to do this alone!
Have you contacted AA? I would do that today!!
Go to confession! Give this all to the Lord and then lean on Him to give you strength!
I imagine it will take some time for you to earn back the trust of your family, don’t lose heart, just take one day at a time. One hour at a time if you need too!

PRAY!!!
 
I believe the Patron Saint is St. Francis Xavier.

I just ran across this a couple of days ago and deceided to start praying this, (I do know a couple of people that can use this daily prayer.) I will include you and all that are addicted to anything.

Prayer for the release of a loved one from alcohol or drug addicition through the Divine Mercy and Blood of Jesus

Lord Jesus, I put myself into Your hands this day. I ask You with all my heart, to cure the terrible addiction to alcohol/(drugs) in (name the person.)

Create in them an intolerance for alcohol (drugs) that will prevent them from ever offending those who love them again.

And grant their loved ones the grace to forgive them for all the hurt they have caused.

Through the Divine Mercy and blood of Jesus, I also pray that they will be healed of all withdrawal symptoms of this terrible afflicition.

I sincerely ask this; in the name of Jesus. Amen

Prayer of Divine Mercy Apostolate
Capuchian Friary, Dublin

I found this prayer on page 74 of a little booklet titled:
Will you help me?
(Then there is a picture of Jesus of Divine Mercy on it, just his bust, not the whole picture, however, on the back cover is the whole picture of Divine Mercy.)
At the bottom of the booklet it says Devotion to the Divine Mercy.
I believe I bought it at the Religious Articles counter at my Parish Church a few years ago.

You could also ask your family to pray this with you.

(and take happymommy’s advice in her post).👍
 
Try doing a search on Venerable Matt Talbot. I believe his cause for canonization is being promoted to become patron saint of those with addictions (especially alcohol).

Will be praying for you too!
 
I have no advice, but just wanted to offer my prayers for your situation.
I think you’re doing a wonderful thing for your family… 👍
May God be with you during this process.
 
Your post moved me to tears. Having grown up with alcoholic parents, I would have given anything to have them recognize they had a problem and seek help. There were many times in my life that special events were ruined by their drinking…my wedding was one of them! So, I really, REALLY commend you for trying to get a grip on this. That you recognize the pain you are causing is a great blessing…and a great motivator for change. I am praying for you and your family!

Go to www.12-step-review.org. It’s a Catholic site with lots of resources. We had Fr. Emmerich Vogt in our parish for a mission a few years ago and he did remarkable things for us.

Again, praying for you…

Kathy
 
jtindell said:
Greetings, all.
I have had a problem with addiction for 10 years now and I need help. Yesterday was my sons’ 16 Birthday and I ended up drinking and ruining his special day. After a sort of ‘intervention with my family, I have promised to quit. I just can’t stand to keep hurting them like this. I have to quit now.
My husband has taken away my car and I has only agreed to drive me to Mass and AA meeting for the period of one month. This is to prove to my family that I can get centered and maintain sobriety. I need to earn my husband and my childrens’ trust back and this is how we agreed to start the process.
Please, please if you have any experience in AA, I’m begging you to help me. I’m only posting like this here in Catholic Answers Forum because I’ve never been steered wrong here before. I am praying that someone can offer me a life-line. Who is the Saint that can help me? Are there any good reliable and safe websites for people in Recovery?
Yesterday was my quit date, my sons’ birthday.
Please help me, if you can. PM me or email me or even just respond on this thread.
Thank you so much,
In Christ,
Jen
Click to expand...
Pray. Go to AA. I grew up in an alcoholic household and one of my sisters is an alcoholic. She stopped drinking 28 years ago at the age of 21 with the help of an excellent sponsor from AA. You need to go as soon as possible. Your Priest can help you get to a Catholic AA Meeting. Her sponsor saved her life and a sponsor can help save yours and your marriage. One hour at a time, one day at a time. But you must contact someone today and start the process of healing and recovery for all. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless you!
 
Hi, Jen.

I have a lot of sobriety under my belt.

Go to AA.

Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others. One of the things that can keep folks from latching on is “terminal uniqueness.” Look for the people you share something with.

Someone once told me, in early sobriety, that “99 per cent of what you hear here is bullstuff. But it’s the other 1 percent that counts.” He was right.

You’ll hear some bad language, and probably see some folks who call themselves “recovering Catholics.” Don’t mind them.

If you want to ask me about integrating AA and Catholicism, pm me. I’ll be happy to help.

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
jtindell said:
Greetings, all.
I have had a problem with addiction for 10 years now and I need help. Yesterday was my sons’ 16 Birthday and I ended up drinking and ruining his special day. After a sort of ‘intervention with my family, I have promised to quit. I just can’t stand to keep hurting them like this. I have to quit now.
My husband has taken away my car and I has only agreed to drive me to Mass and AA meeting for the period of one month. This is to prove to my family that I can get centered and maintain sobriety. I need to earn my husband and my childrens’ trust back and this is how we agreed to start the process.
Please, please if you have any experience in AA, I’m begging you to help me. I’m only posting like this here in Catholic Answers Forum because I’ve never been steered wrong here before. I am praying that someone can offer me a life-line. Who is the Saint that can help me? Are there any good reliable and safe websites for people in Recovery?
Yesterday was my quit date, my sons’ birthday.
Please help me, if you can. PM me or email me or even just respond on this thread.
Thank you so much,
In Christ,
Jen
Click to expand...
have you been to an AA meeting? Where do you live? There is a good meeting tonight at 7:30PM at the corner of Shady Oak Road and Excelsior Blvd in Hopkins. (cross of glory church) There will be a speaker who will share his or her experience of recovery from active alcoholism using the program of AA. It is an open meeting. This means that your husband can attend with you and listen. You will not have to share anything and can listen and learn a little of what AA is about.

I have attended this meeting many times and can tell you that it is frequented by a very broad cross-section of sober alcoholics from all over the twin cities There will be over a hundred people there, many of them with many years of sobriety. You will be welcomed and if you let someone know that you are new, there is a very good chance you will be introduced to several women who have experience helping new people find their way in AA. This assistance costs nothing and comes with no strings attached. A man named Dan did this for me sixteen years ago and so we “pay it forward” by doing the same for others. This is called sponsorship. (always women with women and men with men)

There will be coffee. Welcome home. If you have questions ask away.
 
I don’t have any advice, but wanted to offer support and prayers. My mother was/is an alcoholic and I know exactly the effect it can have on a person…

May God bless you.
 
jtindell,

i’ve been sober 24 years in AA, working the 12 steps of AA for 21 years.

here’s what i’m going to respond to :
I have to quit now.
Click to expand...
in fact, J, no you don’t. you don’t have to quit. you can keep on drinking and wrecking lots of days, wrecking lots of memories, wrecking lots of moments, little and big.

you really can. there’s absolutely NO law that says you have to quit.

but do you ***want ***to quit drinking just for today?

because, if you want to quit drinking just for today, AA can help you. the thing AA is going to teach you to do is to stay sober today.

all that other stuff: trust, relationships restored, etc happens later. don’t worry about it right now. in fact, you don’t really want your family’s trust too quickly anyway. it’s a responsibility you can’t handle just yet.

so, go to AA. **choose a sponsor who has worked the 12 step IN ORDER, with her sponsor. choose someone who has maintained sobriety for a while-- a few years or more. ** then, start working 12 steps in order with your sponsor.

AA doesn’t work great for people who like to figure things out themselves. but it works great for people who have gotten so beat down by booze, they don’t have a single good idea left. it works great for people who are willing to do as they’re told.

so your best success will come if you simply do as you are told.

pm me if you like. if you’re in southeast michigan, i’ll sponsor you. if you’re in terre haute indiana area, my sponsor will sponsor you.
 
Like several of the posters here, I, too, am sober through the grace of God and the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have been sober since 1984. I have attended meetings all over the United States and found early on that a home group was very important to my recovery. I am an individual who hates to be dependent but needs to belong to something greater than myself. It was a little tough going into meetings at first because I didn’t know the “language” of recovery, but the other alcoholics (and their spouses and even children) were so supportive that I learned, one day at a time, how to live without the desperation of having to know where my next drink was going to come from.

I’m still a work in progress; I still have insecurities and fears. But I’ve been able to repair relationships and come to understand the power of love in a way that would never have been available to me in my drinking years, nor would I ever have pursued these things because I was so narcissistic and cocksure that I had everything all figured out so there was “no need” to be authentic and honest.

Someone from a local clubhouse would likely be happy to meet you somewhere and escort you into the meeting. You could even set your terms: no fanfare, no announcements about a newcomer, no desire to share anything just yet. And listen. Listen to the stories of recovery. If you want what they have it can be yours if you can be honest, openminded and willing.

I often prayed to St. Dymphna - my daughter told me long ago that she was the patron saint of mental illness. And if alcoholism isn’t a form of insanity, then there is no such thing.

Blessings to you,

capt
 
I’ll certainly pray for you. I don’t drink, I don’t like the taste and I fail to understand the mystique, but I have alcohol abusers in my family. Please google Matt Talbot. He lived in Ireland, and was an alcoholic, fast on the road to total ruin. He turned his life around and is on the road to canonization. He is an inspiration.

You are the one who has to do this, and only you can do it. Most people when they reach a point where they want change, have an incident that prompts it. Your experience at your son’s birthday looks like it was it for you. About 16 years ago, I lost 40 pounds. For me it was not being able to find an outfit for a school function for my son. I lost the weight and have not put it back on.

Best of luck to you and may God bless you.
 
I am an alcoholic as well. Go to AA, 90 meetings in 90 days. At the beginning of the meeting when the chairperson asks if there is anyone new or coming back…raise your hand & introduce yourself. Tell them you need phone numbers & use them. At the end of the meeting go up & get a white chip. During the meeting-listen and identify with the emotions of other alcoholics. Don’t compare yourself with what you have done & what the speaker has done. You may not have done what others have done yet. And yet is the keyword. Find a homegroup and a sponsor asap. When you get a sponsor call her everyday-she is your teacher, your confidant. We will love you until you can love yourself. Read the 12 steps that are on the wall-then start to work them with your sponsor. You can work the first step when you go to your first meeting. Get a Big Book and read the first 164 pages. Going to AA made me a good catholic-the twelve steps are based on the Spiritual exercises of St Ignatious. I saw someone else offer to you how to intergrate the AA program and your catholic faith. I’m offering my help as well- email me. If you need to speak to someone right now call your local intergroup-they are there to help. Before each meeting starts I say a prayer to the Holy Spirit so I can hear what I need to hear-and speak when I need to help another. I also said that prayer at my 3rd meeting and found my sponsor who is perfect for me-God hand picked her Himself. I live in Fl but if you want my telephone number let me know & you can call me anytime.
 
My father was an alchy, and I mean by heredity he’s an alchy… My grandfather was too and he quit drinking after he was in his late 40’s, then passed away in his 70’s or so because of lung cancer…

My father quit drinking out cold from one day to another when I intoxicated myself when I was 17… I had the curiosity to know what the big hoolabaloo was about drinking…SO I snuck into his bar and drank everything I could get my hands on until I couldn’t see straight, nor walk, nor talk, nor do anything… I was intoxicated. The amount I had drank could have probably killed anyone…BUT I think GOD felt sorry for my stupid self and let me live…

Ever since then he stopped. It was really difficult for him because all and I mean all of his friends were drinking on a 24/7 basis, at work, before and after, etc… Instead of him hanging around them he would excuse himself before work-as to go to work earlier- and after work- go home and spend time with us or another hobby. It kept him busy and away from drinking. He would read tons of books, especially about alcoholism, he started to learn about treating himself-including how to let go on his own, he would meet with our priest about his addiction and through that counseling it helped him find the strength to continue it as well.

My father has been without abusing alcohol for over a decade…He drinks occassionally and I mean occassionally you know a beer here and there once in a great while-like 2 or 3 times a year…if that at all…

I congratulate you on your effort and your want to quit for yourself and your family of course! You will live healthier and you will be able to appreciate yourself and your family as well. AND from the looks of it, it seems that you have the will as well to go for it.

Just hang in there, it’s a long difficult road, but you can do it! With GOD first you can make this! Stay strong and focused and get educated on alcoholism. Speak with your priest and pray…GOD bless and good luck!
 
Monicatholic said,
AA doesn’t work great for people who like to figure things out themselves.
Click to expand...
Just in case you are one… It can. I was a rationalist, agostic intellectual when I showed up. I was also a “high bottom.” But I knew one thing going in: if I kept drinking, it would kill me.

Things like DUIs and getting fired for being drunk hadn’t happened yet - but I rapidly figured out that they would, inevitably, if I kept drinking.

So I was able to humble myself far enough to listen to these people.

You have an advantage over me. You already know God, and that you aren’t Him. And you’re already Catholic!

You don’t have to change God. “God as we understand Him” is not a particular God of AA; He is the particular God of each member.

So PM or email me & Lainey and tell us how your first meeting went!

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
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