Need help with doubt

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martinah

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Hello,

After having a very peaceful and contemplative Lent season, I was suddenly struck with deep doubt. I was going to participate fully in Holy week and now I can’t. I need to go to confession but I won’t as I am not truly sorry. I’m angry. I probably shouldn’t be but I am and I don’t know what to do about it. I know I can’t go to confession and just do it ( go through the motions) but I cannot lie about how I feel.

Over the last couple of days I have been sort “pushed” towards St. James the Lesser (the just). I’m thinking maybe a novena to him would be the thing to do. I have been looking into him and he was a witness to the resurrection, so maybe he’s the one to turn to. I haven’t given up on Holy Mary, I’m just mad at God.

If you could help me with a novena to St. James as I cannot find one and/or you could keep me in your prayers over the next few days, I would appreciate it.

Thank-you,
Martina
 
One priest told me that doubt is a springboard to deeper faith and a call to grow in understanding and faith. May our dear Lord lead and guide you to spiritual growth and deeper faith.
 
Hi Martina,

I feel your confussion. I had the exact same thing happen to me the last Easter.
I was slowly coming back to the church and during the last week of lent, gave up…on everything Catholic. It was such a confusing time for me, I felt trapped by all the rules of the church and started feeling it wasn’t for me after all. 😦

I am enjoying being part of it all again now and had a lovely lent this year. My concerns were my own issues and I was looking at things the wrong way. I can see now so much beauty in the church. Our Lady, the saints, I feel they have all helped get me through it.

I would say that when doubt surfaces, pray. I know, seems logical right, or maybe you just don’t want to because of the doubt you are feeling, but I would give it a try. I think it will help you feel more connected to Jesus, especially now only days before Easter. Ask Our Lady for help too. This was a heartbreaking time for her, let her strength lift you up and allow you to see the light again, just in time for Easter Sunday.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Happy Easter and God Bless you. 🙂
 
O Glorious St. James, you were our Lord’s cousin and at the same time his friend and follower. You wrote that every good and perfect gift comes to us from the Father of lights, and that faith without works is useless. You preached the divinity of Jesus until your death as a martyr. Obtain for us from the Father of lights the great gift of a living faith in Jesus’ divinity which will inspire us to unstinting labor in the service of God and our fellow human beings and enable us to reach our heavenly destiny.

Also link to St James (lesser) novena…http://www.csj.org.uk/StJamesNovena.pdf
 
Well, don’t beat up on yourself too much: Many people of great faith have had periods of doubt. One example who comes immediately to mind is no less than Mother Teresa of Calcutta herself, and a few years ago, CNN did a piece about her protracted period of deep doubt in her faith. What did she do? She continued to pray, and work, and I think the results speak for themselves.

Doubts such as you describe, in a person who is disciplining their life towards moving towards God, is an example of what is referred to in Ignatian spirituality as spiritual desolation. The reasons for it may be nonspiritual or spiritual in origin, but St. Ignatius gave a rule for the person experiencing it: Basically, you continue to pray as if you were still in spiritual consolation, and (this is important) you make no changes in your spiritual practice or big decisions while undergoing desolation. These periods of time frequently produce many insights, and much growth, but they’re not very much fun when you’re going through them. But experiencing them, understanding them, and going through them as profitably as possible is one part of developing spiritual maturity and “muscle.”

Here’s a link to a TV series (it’s long) that will give you some idea of how to discern what desolation is, how to handle it, and a whole lot of other very useful information and ideas that are based on the teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

catholictv.com/Catholic-Discernment-of-Spirits.aspx
 
Hi,

In my experience, there appears to be a lot of attacks on the burgeoning faith of those returning to the church after a prolonged absence etc. Also, there always seems to be significantly greater temptations around the Holy Week period. I would recommend that you attend confession and explain to the priest exactly how you feel, and continue pray daily. You are in my prayers.

God bless
 
St. John of the Cross, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.

Most holy Theotokos, pray for us.

Amen.
 
GRATEFULONEjim said:
O Glorious St. James, you were our Lord’s cousin and at the same time his friend and follower. You wrote that every good and perfect gift comes to us from the Father of lights, and that faith without works is useless. You preached the divinity of Jesus until your death as a martyr. Obtain for us from the Father of lights the great gift of a living faith in Jesus’ divinity which will inspire us to unstinting labor in the service of God and our fellow human beings and enable us to reach our heavenly destiny.

Also link to St James (lesser) novena…http://www.csj.org.uk/StJamesNovena.pdf
Click to expand...
Nice one GratefulOne…God Bless…
 
Praying for your intentions….

Lord Jesus, You have said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” With confidence in Your loving heart which offers rest to weary souls, we come to You in this time of special need. In Your unfailing love, read the prayer that is written on our hearts, and grant the grace that we ask of You, in accordance with Your holy will. In Your name we pray. Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, and sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother, to thee I come, before thee I stand sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate! Despise not my petitions, but, in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Angels_Eyes said:
Hi Martina,

I feel your confussion. I had the exact same thing happen to me the last Easter.
I was slowly coming back to the church and during the last week of lent, gave up…on everything Catholic. It was such a confusing time for me, I felt trapped by all the rules of the church and started feeling it wasn’t for me after all. 😦

I am enjoying being part of it all again now and had a lovely lent this year. My concerns were my own issues and I was looking at things the wrong way. I can see now so much beauty in the church. Our Lady, the saints, I feel they have all helped get me through it.

I would say that when doubt surfaces, pray. I know, seems logical right, or maybe you just don’t want to because of the doubt you are feeling, but I would give it a try. I think it will help you feel more connected to Jesus, especially now only days before Easter. Ask Our Lady for help too. This was a heartbreaking time for her, let her strength lift you up and allow you to see the light again, just in time for Easter Sunday.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Happy Easter and God Bless you. 🙂
Click to expand...
AngelEyes,
Thank-you so much for telling me your experience with last year. It makes me feel better to know that its not 'just me". Just like you, I KNOW this issue is me. There is no doubt about that. I most likely need a perspective adjustment. Its a little difficult, and maybe that’s part of my struggle, to not feel like an adult in the sense that I feel chastised --by me–and getting to place of accepting that I have much to learn, despite being a cradle catholic. I will definitely be saying a rosary tonight along with a prayer to St. James. Thank-you for including me in your prayers as well.

God Bless and Happy Easter to you too : )
Martina
 
GRATEFULONEjim said:
O Glorious St. James, you were our Lord’s cousin and at the same time his friend and follower. You wrote that every good and perfect gift comes to us from the Father of lights, and that faith without works is useless. You preached the divinity of Jesus until your death as a martyr. Obtain for us from the Father of lights the great gift of a living faith in Jesus’ divinity which will inspire us to unstinting labor in the service of God and our fellow human beings and enable us to reach our heavenly destiny.

Also link to St James (lesser) novena…http://www.csj.org.uk/StJamesNovena.pdf
Click to expand...
Greatfulonejim,

Thanks for finding that and the pdf. I will be definitely using both of these for the remainder of Lent/Easter. Your time and consideration in doing that for me is greatly appreciated.

God Bless and Thank-you!
Martina
 
Kilo1Mike21 said:
Praying for your intentions….

Lord Jesus, You have said, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” With confidence in Your loving heart which offers rest to weary souls, we come to You in this time of special need. In Your unfailing love, read the prayer that is written on our hearts, and grant the grace that we ask of You, in accordance with Your holy will. In Your name we pray. Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, and sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother, to thee I come, before thee I stand sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate! Despise not my petitions, but, in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
Click to expand...
Kilo1Mike21,

I love that first prayer and appreciate you providing it here for me and others who may be facing the same struggle in the last week of Lent. I especially love ‘Memorare’ and use it often when I struggle to begin my prayers to Our Lady.

Thank-you for the kindness and time you took to answer my posting. God Bless and I hope you have a wonderful Easter.

Martina
 
odile53 said:
Well, don’t beat up on yourself too much: Many people of great faith have had periods of doubt. One example who comes immediately to mind is no less than Mother Teresa of Calcutta herself, and a few years ago, CNN did a piece about her protracted period of deep doubt in her faith. What did she do? She continued to pray, and work, and I think the results speak for themselves.

Doubts such as you describe, in a person who is disciplining their life towards moving towards God, is an example of what is referred to in Ignatian spirituality as spiritual desolation. The reasons for it may be nonspiritual or spiritual in origin, but St. Ignatius gave a rule for the person experiencing it: Basically, you continue to pray as if you were still in spiritual consolation, and (this is important) you make no changes in your spiritual practice or big decisions while undergoing desolation. These periods of time frequently produce many insights, and much growth, but they’re not very much fun when you’re going through them. But experiencing them, understanding them, and going through them as profitably as possible is one part of developing spiritual maturity and “muscle.”

Here’s a link to a TV series (it’s long) that will give you some idea of how to discern what desolation is, how to handle it, and a whole lot of other very useful information and ideas that are based on the teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

catholictv.com/Catholic-Discernment-of-Spirits.aspx
Click to expand...
Odile53,

Thank-you for providing me with a name (spiritual desolation) for what I am experience. For some reason, having a name for what I am going through always makes me feel better. You also provided me with hope that all this is for the purpose of growth and insight. Thank-you so much for your time and kindness in posting to this thread. I will definitely be watching the series you provided a link to as I am sure it will be very informative and helpful.

Thanks a lot and God Bless,
Martina
 
Trishie, Stumblesalot and WoundedIcon,

Thank-you for your prayers and suggestions. I really appreciate you taking the time to add your insight to my situation.

God Bless and I hope you have a wonderful Easter.

Martina
 
Martina, if you do end up watching that series, I would recommend that you do so with a big mug of coffee at your side. The priest has a very soft voice, and explains the subject matter in great detail. In other words, it’s easy to fall asleep while watching it! But the discernment of spirits, as St. Ignatius referred to it, is really the best way I’ve ever found to identify what is going on spiritually, and work with it, or work around it, to grow in faith and action based on that faith.

True, we are saved by grace, but the wonderful thing about the Catholic Church (one of the wonderful things, that is) is that we are expected to be able to cooperate with grace. In other words, no such thing as a free faith lunch! Maybe thinking about our faith, working in prayer with the Lord, and developing Christian maturity is what makes our faith that much richer.
 
odile53 said:
Martina, if you do end up watching that series, I would recommend that you do so with a big mug of coffee at your side. The priest has a very soft voice, and explains the subject matter in great detail. In other words, it’s easy to fall asleep while watching it! But the discernment of spirits, as St. Ignatius referred to it, is really the best way I’ve ever found to identify what is going on spiritually, and work with it, or work around it, to grow in faith and action based on that faith.

True, we are saved by grace, but the wonderful thing about the Catholic Church (one of the wonderful things, that is) is that we are expected to be able to cooperate with grace. In other words, no such thing as a free faith lunch! Maybe thinking about our faith, working in prayer with the Lord, and developing Christian maturity is what makes our faith that much richer.
Click to expand...
Odile53,

Thanks for the headsup! I actually skipped ahead to number 6 about discernment. You’re right he does have a very quiet voice but he gives such good instruction about dealing with desolation that I got through it ok;). I am going to watch the rest today as the topic of Ignation Spirituality does interest me a lot. It has always struct me that Jesuits were very spiritually mature. I probably have always admired in them what I need for myself!

Thanks again, Odile53 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend.

God Bless.
Martina
 
A prayer taken from the Divine Mercy Novena
as written in the diary of St. Faustina:

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

:blessyou:
 
the_phoenix said:
A prayer taken from the Divine Mercy Novena
as written in the diary of St. Faustina:

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

:blessyou:
Click to expand...
Thank-you Phoenix 🙂

God Bless and Happy Easter,
Martina
 
Our Father, which art in Heaven
Hollowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
Amen

Oh, my Jesus
Forgive us our sins
Save us from the fires of hell
And lead all souls to Heaven
Especially those in most need of thy mercy
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our deaths
Amen
 
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