I used to be REALLY sensitive, (and still am). When I was young, if someone teased me, for any reason, I would get upset, cry. Often, this was what they wanted. They WANTED me to react, get upset. So, the more upset I became, the more they would do it.
Often, I’d go to my mother, who would advise me, time and again, “They are doing this for attention. IGNORE THEM!” She may never have gotten more than a high school degree, but I can assure you she knows a lot about human behavior, and psychology.
My brother used to tell me to ignore people, and it’s taken me till later in my life till I’ve actually been able to successfully ignore people. I have often spent my life trying to please them (which, inicidentally, is often probably impossible).
I STILL get upset, and I’ve taught. You should see what they put us TEACHERS through. I’ve had all I can do, in the past, not to cry, as well. They would be rebellious and all the rest, and I’d be responsible for trying to reign all that in.
When I first came to Mexico, I taught at a home for children. At one point, as a combination of not being able to speak, and understand Spanish, well enough at that time, adjusting to an entirely new culture, AND having students who were rebellious in the extreme, I cried daily! I would try to do that in private, retreat to my room…or with a trusted friend, and cry.
Anyway, I still teach but no longer bother with large groups. I have small ones, but I have since tried harder NOT to take things personally. Well, I’ve since realized that a lot of those kids come from families who have never properly taught them…manners, etc. They might even come from families where there is abuse, and they often imitate that, right or wrong.
I also worked in mental health, and it’s important to realize what’s you, what’s them. To me, THEY are the problem, NOT you! So, number one, realize that. You are NOT the problem. Do NOT let them get you to think, in your remotest thoughts you are!
Secondly, this is a trick one of my supervisors taught me when dealing with difficult situations in life. She imagines a shield around herself, that what people say do NOT penetrate the shield, rather, that she’s protected, that EVERYTHING simply slides right off it…like water off a duck’s back!
Another friend said it was hard disciplining her kids, and she’s imagine herself as much bigger! lol So, there are a lot of tricks.
I also once had a friend who used humor! So, they were picking on the two of us, and instead of getting upset, like I did, he would, to me…imitate himself loading a gun, shooting one. I laughed. Then, we, together, imagined it was a bigger and bigger gun…until it was a canon! So, he helped me a lot.
Some comedians have actually suffered greatly, use humor, also as a defense (or attack).
If you can, try to leave that place where they are, head to the bathroom if you feel you’ll cry.
If you DO cry, realize one more thing, that it’s not the end of the world. I work at a Blind Association, and one of the teachers goes out of his way to teach people, men especially, that it’s actually OKAY to cry. In fact, I’ve seen that man, the coordinator, cry on several occasions. Now, it’s unfortunate a person sees one crying and attacks, but try to realize that these kids are going through a phase, are VERY immature!
They are childish, and wrong. It’s wrong to do that, clearly. They’re abusive, and that’s why you feel the way you do.
My boyfriend will do all kinds of crazy stuff. He goes around downtown singing at the top of his lungs, some days, and I feel embarrassed as to what everyone else will think. He…doesn´t care what they think. He will ask me why I care what other people think.
He will say, “Do they feed you? Do they clothe you? So…why do you care what they think?!” He told me to just stop that, to stop trying to please everyone, just be concerned about myself and my loved ones, mainly.
Once, his brother tried to tell him what to do when he was growing up, and my boyfriend basically said he didn´t care what his brother thought of him, that he doesn’t feed or clothe him or anything! Actually, instead of my boyfriend getting upset, the brother got upset that he could no longer control using fear!
First line of defense…IGNORE them. See them for what they truly are. Realize THEY are the problem, and do NOT let them get you to internalize. You don´t have to argue with them. They are childish, immature, and when you have people like that, do NOT take ANYTHING they say personally. Consider the source!
If someone tried to tell my boyfriend…“Hey…you ate a mint!”, I think he’d say, “Yeah, and what’s that to you?” Try to defend yourself. Don´t allow them to use you as their doormat, because if you do, you might have that for the rest of your life!
Oh…one last thing…sometimes, another way to throw bullies and others off the trail is to agree with them. Then, it comes across, at times, like a severe sarcasm.
