Need help with lust

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MC100

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Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I am struggling with lust. Specifically, lust of my sister-in-law. Thoughts go through my head on almost a daily basis of thoughts of her nude, sexual acts between us, ect. Unfortunately she lives down the street from us, so she will always be a part of me and my wife’s life. I always confess this act every time I go to confession, but it never seems to go away.

Is this a mortal sin? Do I need to go to confession daily, since these thoughts happen on a daily basis also? I don’t want to always be out of God’s graces. I don’t know what to do. Prayers please !!!

MC100
 
MC100 said:
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I am struggling with lust. Specifically, lust of my sister-in-law. Thoughts go through my head on almost a daily basis of thoughts of her nude, sexual acts between us, ect. Unfortunately she lives down the street from us, so she will always be a part of me and my wife’s life. I always confess this act every time I go to confession, but it never seems to go away.

Is this a mortal sin? Do I need to go to confession daily, since these thoughts happen on a daily basis also? I don’t want to always be out of God’s graces. I don’t know what to do. Prayers please !!!

MC100
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Yes, this is a hard habit to break. I suggest praying a daily rosary. Learn St. Michael prayer and pray it when these thoughts come into your mind…Also the Chaplet of St.Michael can help curb these thoughts…Distance yourself from temptations, pornography, sexual desires on television, magazines, etc… ask God for help with a sincere heart. Spend time in adoration and help on these matters. Fasting can also be very powerful although it takes serious dedication and prayer. Sins of the flesh are very dangerous sins and I have problems myself. God desires obedience to His Will and will help if you show sincere effort but may have to change some things
 
I have problems with lustful thoughts as well…what has helped me recently is when I have these thoughts come to my mind, I offer them up to God for a very special intention that I’ve been praying about continuously for a couple years. Believe it or not this has helped me immensely…My special intention is worth more to me than the lust, and it has helped me to turn towards God in my times of weakness. I’ll pray for you.
 
When you talk about your issue, leave out the details, be more general. You should send away for the Fifteen Hail Mary’s prayer with petitions for chastity from the Angelic Warfare Confraternity. Look up Angelic Warfare Confraternity on a search engine.

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Queen of Angels, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, filled with the mercy of God, etc.
Saint Raphael, perfect adorer of the Divine Word,
Saint Raphael, terror of demons,
Saint Raphael, exterminator of vices,
Saint Raphael, health of the sick,
Saint Raphael, our refuge in all our trials,
Saint Raphael, guide of travelers,
Saint Raphael, consoler of prisoners,
Saint Raphael, joy of the sorrowful,
Saint Raphael, filled with zeal for the salvation of souls,
Saint Raphael, whose name means God heals,
Saint Raphael, lover of chastity,
Saint Raphael, scourge of demons,
Saint Raphael, in pestilence, famine and war,
Saint Raphael, angel of peace and prosperity,
Saint Raphael, endowed with the grace of healing,
Saint Raphael, sure guide in the paths of virtue and sanctification,
Saint Raphael, help of all those who implore your assistance,
Saint Raphael, who was the guide and consolation of Tobias on his journey,
Saint Raphael, whom the Scriptures praise: Raphael, the holy angel of the Lord, was sent to cure,
Saint Raphael, our advocate,
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
Pray for us, Saint Raphael, to the Lord Our God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ
Lord, Jesus Christ, by the prayer of the Archangel Raphael, grant us the grace to avoid all sin and to persevere in every good work until we reach our heavenly destination, You Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.
 
I totally agree with fasting, especially in combating sexual sins.
When I fast it is usually a 3 day bread and water fast; no snacks or liquids in between.
I usually do it over a weekend so as not to interfere with work.
In conjunction with the fast I make lots of time for prayer, a good examen and sacramental confession, and Mass.

God bless you.
 
thyrodandstaff said:
When you talk about your issue, leave out the details, be more general. You should send away for the Fifteen Hail Mary’s prayer with petitions for chastity from the Angelic Warfare Confraternity. Look up Angelic Warfare Confraternity on a search engine.

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Queen of Angels, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, filled with the mercy of God, etc.
Saint Raphael, perfect adorer of the Divine Word,
Saint Raphael, terror of demons,
Saint Raphael, exterminator of vices,
Saint Raphael, health of the sick,
Saint Raphael, our refuge in all our trials,
Saint Raphael, guide of travelers,
Saint Raphael, consoler of prisoners,
Saint Raphael, joy of the sorrowful,
Saint Raphael, filled with zeal for the salvation of souls,
Saint Raphael, whose name means God heals,
Saint Raphael, lover of chastity,
Saint Raphael, scourge of demons,
Saint Raphael, in pestilence, famine and war,
Saint Raphael, angel of peace and prosperity,
Saint Raphael, endowed with the grace of healing,
Saint Raphael, sure guide in the paths of virtue and sanctification,
Saint Raphael, help of all those who implore your assistance,
Saint Raphael, who was the guide and consolation of Tobias on his journey,
Saint Raphael, whom the Scriptures praise: Raphael, the holy angel of the Lord, was sent to cure,
Saint Raphael, our advocate,
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
Pray for us, Saint Raphael, to the Lord Our God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ
Lord, Jesus Christ, by the prayer of the Archangel Raphael, grant us the grace to avoid all sin and to persevere in every good work until we reach our heavenly destination, You Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.
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Thank you for the prayer, thyrodandstaff. But not sure I understand what you mean about leaving out the details. No one was outed here, nor was there anything obscene. Hard to get to the crux of a matter or get advice without getting into a little detail.

MC100
 
Three suggestions I have:
  1. Realize that you, by yourself are powerless against these thoughts. Think of them as a Chinese Finger Trap – the more you focus on them, consciously trying to will them away, the more they’re going to stick around. The first thing to do instead is counterintuitive – accept powerlessness over these thoughts and desires, and give them over to God.
  2. When you do perceive these thoughts or feelings, say a short and sincere prayer, something like “Lord God, I surrender my desire to lust after this woman. I beg you to always allow her to be seen as a beloved child of You, rather than an object to be lusted after.”
  3. Cultivate a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Saint Jude. Also pray often to the Blessed Virgin Mary, especially the Rosary.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death
Amen.

St. Jude, pray for him!
 
MC100 said:
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I am struggling with lust. Specifically, lust of my sister-in-law. Thoughts go through my head on almost a daily basis of thoughts of her nude, sexual acts between us, ect. Unfortunately she lives down the street from us, so she will always be a part of me and my wife’s life. I always confess this act every time I go to confession, but it never seems to go away.

Is this a mortal sin? Do I need to go to confession daily, since these thoughts happen on a daily basis also? I don’t want to always be out of God’s graces. I don’t know what to do. Prayers please !!!

MC100
Click to expand...
Have you considered moving?
 
The problem is that she and her husband just moved here, because her and my wife are super close. That would not fly with my wife to move away.
 
MC100 said:
The problem is that she and her husband just moved here, because her and my wife are super close. That would not fly with my wife to move away.
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You haven’t said but I’m guessing that you don’t have as close a relationship with your wife as one would hope. I say this because it seems that you have not told your wife about your thoughts regarding her friend. The advice about praying and fasting is excellent but you also need to get out of there. If my husband was having impure thoughts about someone I believe that he would tell me so that we could make sure that we do not come in contact with her. I’m thinking that you are a very young couple and I’m also thinking that this spark could set a blaze that could wound your marital relationship.
 
Annie39 said:
You haven’t said but I’m guessing that you don’t have as close a relationship with your wife as one would hope. I say this because it seems that you have not told your wife about your thoughts regarding her friend. The advice about praying and fasting is excellent but you also need to get out of there. If my husband was having impure thoughts about someone I believe that he would tell me so that we could make sure that we do not come in contact with her. I’m thinking that you are a very young couple and I’m also thinking that this spark could set a blaze that could wound your marital relationship.
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It’s not her friend, it’s her sister. That would reak havoc not just on our marriage, but with her relationship with her sister.
 
MC100 said:
It’s not her friend, it’s her sister. That would reak havoc not just on our marriage, but with her relationship with her sister.
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You still need to put distance between you and the sister.
 
Pat_Payne said:
Three suggestions I have:
  1. Realize that you, by yourself are powerless against these thoughts. Think of them as a Chinese Finger Trap – the more you focus on them, consciously trying to will them away, the more they’re going to stick around. The first thing to do instead is counterintuitive – accept powerlessness over these thoughts and desires, and give them over to God.
  2. When you do perceive these thoughts or feelings, say a short and sincere prayer, something like "Lord God, I surrender my desire to lust after this woman. I beg you to always allow her to be seen as a beloved child of You, rather than an object to be lusted after."
  3. Cultivate a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Saint Jude. Also pray often to the Blessed Virgin Mary, especially the Rosary.
Click to expand...
👍

Can I also suggest praying for your sister-in-law, her husband and for their marriage? And for your own marriage? Maintaining your distance from her would probably also help.
 
Agree with maintaining distance from her. The problem is that her family and mine do things together. But I will do the best I can with God’s grace. Prayers needed. Thanks.

MC100
 
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