Need help with my faith

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angie2305

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Hello all, I’m new to this forum. I’m posting this because I have some conflicts within myself that I need help with. I’ve been raised a Catholic, I call myself Catholic, but I havn’t been a practicing Catholic in a while. I havn’t gone to church in about a year and I really feel that I’ve lost touch with God and my faith. I pray sometimes at night but I feel so far away from God. I have many doubts all the time about religion in general. I get discouraged because I hear all the time that “God loves you unconditionally” and “God loves the whole world” and so forth, but then I hear stuff like “You are eternally damned if you do this or that” etc. and it’s like, how can God love me unconditionally if I can be eternally damned because I don’t do one thing right or if I sin at all. It seems at times as if the demands are set so high that I will never be able to reach them. And then there’s people within the church that show so much hypocracy that it turns me away. People that speak like they’re such Christians, but are almost hateful in their constant judgements of others, and seem to hold themselves in such esteem that they just “know” that they are going to heaven no matter what and then condemn a whole race of people accross the world because they arn’t Christians. My thing is that if God created everyone in this world, why would he create a whole civilization of people just to condemn them to eternal suffering in Hell, because they aren’t Christians? Because their society and the way they were raised was not Christian, because they don’t know any different? These are some of the things that are hard for me to get over. If somebody could enlighten me or help me with this it would be great. I really want/ need God back in my life. I feel so far away and so alone and so unfulfilled. I can feel that I’m on the wrong track, but I don’t really know how to get back.

If you’ve read all of this jumbled up stuff, thank you for your patience with me!!!
 
Angie, I think that I could have written almost the same exact post a year ago. I am a cradle Catholic, but for years, I only went to mass a few times a year, received the sacrament of reconciliation only once or twice a year at most, and I was plagued by doubts and fears. On top of all that, I was doing an absolutly lousy job of teaching my children their faith.

I can’t really explain why or how, but last winter, at the beginning of Lent, I decided to “do something” about this spiritual vaccume in me. First, I just began praying the rosary every day. I started going to mass on Sunday (no confession, but just going to mass). Then I was introduced to the Divine Mercy chaplet and novena, and I began praying that on an almost daily basis. Finally, I got to confession right before Easter.

I have a hard time explaining all of this, but the Lord really did turn things around for me when I began to do all of this.

I know that this does not answer all of the issues that your original post has brought up, but I want to reassure you that you are not the only one who has these questions and doubts and feelings.

My best advice I can give you is this:

Pray daily. Pray the rosary, the divine mercy chaplet, or any devotion that you feel drawn to to ask for God’s presence in your life.

If you haven’t been for a while, go to confession.

Begin attending mass again on Sunday.

Ask the Holy Spirit to change you during this season of Advent. He will, I can promise you that.

Ask for the grace of understanding, forgiveness, fortitude, and, and piety to help you through your search for a closer relationship with God.

Above all, keep your eyes on Christ. He will not let you down, even if other Christians do. He is our role model, not the guy in the pew next to you.
 
Angie - I too stopped practicing my faith years ago, and for much longer than one year. I agree with the previous response that prayer and a return to Mass and the sacraments is a good place to start. Further, I will attempt to address the questions you pose, which seem to boil down to two: 1) How can God love unconditionally while expecting me to refrain from sin?; and 2) Why would he create people knowing that many of them may end up in Hell? I will also attempt to address your concern with ‘hypocrites.’
  1. God does love unconditionally. Otherwise He would not have given you a free will. As your creator, He knows you better than you know yourself, and He knows that you will fall into sin; all He asks of you is to do your best to love Him by loving yourself and others. He knows you will not be perfect in this life. Only Christ was perfect from eternity, and only Mary was perfect by the combination of His gift of Immaculate Conception and her choice to give herself completely to Him.
  2. He allows us to choose Him by accepting and sharing, to the best of our ability, His love for us. Unfortunately, some people reject His love and refuse to love others. In ways only He knows, He provides ample opportunity for each of us to choose Him; my lifefor example, has been far easier than that of most others, and I too often wonder where I would be in faith had I been born in some third world country. Yet I believe His mercy and justice will be applied to all and still some will reject Him.
And finally, Chesterton said something to the effect that the best argument against Christianity is the life of many ‘Christians.’ The idea is that the faith cannot be judged by the humans who profess it, but only on its own merits. After all, we are ‘only human!!’

Chuck
 
angie2305 said:
Hello all, I’m new to this forum. I’m posting this because I have some conflicts within myself that I need help with. I’ve been raised a Catholic, I call myself Catholic, but I havn’t been a practicing Catholic in a while. I havn’t gone to church in about a year and I really feel that I’ve lost touch with God and my faith. I pray sometimes at night but I feel so far away from God. I have many doubts all the time about religion in general. I get discouraged because I hear all the time that “God loves you unconditionally” and “God loves the whole world” and so forth, but then I hear stuff like “You are eternally damned if you do this or that” etc. and it’s like, how can God love me unconditionally if I can be eternally damned because I don’t do one thing right or if I sin at all. It seems at times as if the demands are set so high that I will never be able to reach them. And then there’s people within the church that show so much hypocracy that it turns me away. People that speak like they’re such Christians, but are almost hateful in their constant judgements of others, and seem to hold themselves in such esteem that they just “know” that they are going to heaven no matter what and then condemn a whole race of people accross the world because they arn’t Christians. My thing is that if God created everyone in this world, why would he create a whole civilization of people just to condemn them to eternal suffering in Hell, because they aren’t Christians? Because their society and the way they were raised was not Christian, because they don’t know any different? These are some of the things that are hard for me to get over. If somebody could enlighten me or help me with this it would be great. I really want/ need God back in my life. I feel so far away and so alone and so unfulfilled. I can feel that I’m on the wrong track, but I don’t really know how to get back.

If you’ve read all of this jumbled up stuff, thank you for your patience with me!!!
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Dear Angie,

I would suggest that you listen to these sermons online
lbm.org/store/information.php?info_id=8 Just clink on the “click to listen now” button.
 
Angie,

I felt like you do for many, many years. I was a cradle Catholic, but raised by people who didn’t know the faith at all. I swear my family just liked having the shiny rosary beads because that was the only part of the Catholic faith to which they adhered.

It wasn’t until a little over 3 years ago that one of my grandmother passed away. It was just another hardship that I had to endure and I just cracked. About two weeks later, I went back to mass for the first time in many years and it all just clicked.

I finally FELT Catholic. I finally FELT like I belonged there. I can’t explain it but it was the most amazing feeling.

I agree with the posters who said to start praying again. It will help. And, please allow us to pray for you.
 
Angie, I too went through a period when I didn’t go to mass and basically struggled with doubt about everything, even whether or not God even existed, much less why He allows people to fall into sin. Later, after I found my way back, I went through another period where I became very angry with the church (during the priest pedophilia scandal). I promise you, I almost left the church, but there were two things that kept me from leaving; the Eucharist and the Blessed Mother. Because I couldn’t “go without” these two Truths, the Holy Spirit began to touch my heart and help me to see that the church is made up of humans who are capable of sin, but the teachings of the church, the dogmas, doctrine of her faith are perfect and holy.

My advice to you is to start praying the rosary everyday, even if it feels unatural at first. Get a book called “The Scriptual Rosary”, it will help you with meditation on the Mysteries.

Next, I would urge you to go to mass as soon as you can and while you are there find out when they have confession and go.
In my experience, the more I “connect” myself with God, ie through prayer, mass, confession, the more I feel connected.

If I let my prayer life lapse, or go to long before I go to confession, or miss mass, I can feel myself slipping back into the world and all of the demands it makes on me. Keeping my life centered on God is a constant struggle for me, but that is what the church is there for, to help with increasing my faith.

Try doing these little things first, then work on sorting out the rest of it. One thing is for sure, after you’ve gone to confession you will be able to start receiving the Eucharist again. This will give you the grace you need to grow in faith.

Peace,

Marci
 
Stay the course! I came literally within days of leaving the Church to become a Protestant not that long ago. There were still doubts in my mind however. Some of the major ones were:
-The Eucharist
-Mary and Marian apparitions in particular
-The call to unity of all Christians in the Bible; not the call to split into many different sects.
I don’t know if these cover any issues you have been having. Everyone who told you to go to Confession is giving you excellent advice! I hadn’t been to confession in 3 and 1/2 years for a time. It was when I first went back to Confession, however, that I really felt at ease and began to grow as a Catholic. Actually, my going to confession was inspired, in part, by a sermon I heard preached by Father John Corapi on EWTN. He was talking about the many people receiving communion in a state of mortal sin, and at the time, I was one of those people. So I made up my mind to go to Confession and boy did it help! So maybe you might want to listen to Father Corapi speak; I think he’s excellent! Good luck in everything! God bless and, again, stay the course!
I almost forgot, here is a great quote for you:
“Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For God is the one who, for His good purposes works in you both to desire and to work.” Phillipians:2 12-13.
It won’t be easy, but you’ll make it!
 
Thank you all for your responses. I am definitely going to try to get back into church and go to confession. Unfortunately I still didn’t make it to church today, I’ve got to put more effort into this if I want it to work right?! But I am going to go next sunday for sure. It’s so hard to get back in the habit of going, but I’m sure once I start it will get easier. I think the first step is the hardest. It’s like somethings pulling me back and I really
have to fight that urge to be lazy and stay home. I’m going to pray for the strength to fight these temptations and to find the courage to make those first steps. Thank you again for all of your advise, please pray for me and my family, that we can find our way again.
Thank you 🙂
 
angie2305 said:
Thank you all for your responses. I am definitely going to try to get back into church and go to confession. Unfortunately I still didn’t make it to church today, I’ve got to put more effort into this if I want it to work right?! But I am going to go next sunday for sure. It’s so hard to get back in the habit of going, but I’m sure once I start it will get easier. I think the first step is the hardest. It’s like somethings pulling me back and I really
have to fight that urge to be lazy and stay home. I’m going to pray for the strength to fight these temptations and to find the courage to make those first steps. Thank you again for all of your advise, please pray for me and my family, that we can find our way again.
Thank you 🙂
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Hi Angie,

I grew up with a strong faith life and then in college I just let it slip away out of pure laziness. Don’t feel like you’re the only one or that people are judging you. The Church wants you back, your Father wants you back, don’t worry about people who seem like hypocrits right now. There are always going to be people making mistakes.

I don’t think anyone above mentioned Eucharistic Adoration. Have you ever been? You can find out if there’s a church or chapel with Adoration nearby at www.masstimes.org. You’ll be sitting in the physical Eucharistic prescence of Christ. There’s no pressure, it doesn’t matter what you do…sit quitely, pray, or read. Probably no one will even speak to you. It’s very powerful…maybe feels strange the first time but it will do amazing things in your life.

Adoration and the Rosary helped me feel the love of God calling me home. I suggest it to everyone! I’ll say my next Rosary for your intentions.

Just start somewhere and the Holy Spirit will help you so it’s easier to make it to Mass the next week and all the weeks after that. You don’t have to do the work by yourself.

cecilia
 
angie2305 said:
. It’s so hard to get back in the habit of going, but I’m sure once I start it will get easier. I think the first step is the hardest. It’s like somethings pulling me back and I really
have to fight that urge to be lazy and stay home. I’m going to pray for the strength to fight these temptations and to find the courage to make those first steps. Thank you again for all of your advise, please pray for me and my family, that we can find our way again.
Thank you 🙂
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Yes, it is very hard to begin a new habit. Last year, it took every ounce of efffort on my part to get going again. The first couple of times, I just took myself because I could not face having to go myself AND drag 4 kids with me. The I took one or two kids for a few weeks. Pretty soon, I was up to the whole gang of 4. I’m still working on my husband. He thinks that the mininistry of the lawn mower on Sunday mornings is more important. Oh well…I belive the HS will get busy on him, pretty soon.
 
Angie-

If you are looking for some interesting reading, I would suggest several books by converts to Catholicism. I am a convert myself, and I realize that cradle Catholics write good books, too. But there is something about the enthusiasm of a convert to help you appreciate just how much you have in your Catholic faith.

I recommend:

Rome Sweet Home by Scott & Kimberly Hahn
Crossing the Tiber by Stephen Ray
Lead, Kindly Light & On Being Catholic by Thomas Howard
Surprised By Truth Vols. 1-3 by Patrick Madrid

These should get you started.
 
Angie,

I am a cradle Catholic myself, and I, along with some of the previous posters, have went through similar experiences as you in terms of understanding our Catholic faith. You are not alone. These trials that we experience in life can strengthen our faith and be a catalyst to seek the answers that we need.

“Churches must not be judged by the weakness of their members, but by the truth of what they teach.”-Surprised by Truth#3 - by Patrick Madrid Every church has both good and bad followers, but not every church teaches the truth.

I agree with the previous poster’s reading selection, especially “Surprised by Truth”, books 1-3 by Patrick Madrid.

I also recommend the Beginning Apologetics handbooks #1-8, by Father Frank Chacon & Jim Burnham -San Juan Catholic Seminars - catholicapologetics.com/ They are excellent! You can get books 1-8 for about $50.

Also, take the time to learn about the lives of the Saints. You will see that the Saints had sufferred so much in their lives, yet they developed great humility and trust in God. They are great examples and their stories are inspiring. e.g. St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina, St.Bernadette of Lourdes, etc.

Pray the Rosary - learn about it and truly take it to heart. It will transform and help guide your spiritual life. You will find what you seek, if only you ask and trust in God. Fear not, for He is with you - Isaiah 41:10.

Our prayers are with you because God does love you.
 
HI Angie,
I read your post and knew in my heart I wanted to respond. first respond with love in my heart for my sister in Christ! One thing I must tell you is that we have an enemy of our souls! HIs ways are very subtle, not always up front. He keeps us feeling lazy, distracted, doubtful, and all those kinds of things. I know because I have been where you are as Im sure most christians have at some point. Best advice my dear, stay the course. Go to church, pray, and spend time with God. It is a relationship.
Its the most important relationship in our lives. The success of all other relationships is built on HIs! I will be praying for you and I am quite sure if you obey the Lord, and folow through with pursuing Him, your response in a few months will be much different than today. He is faithful! and he will restore your soul! God Bless you and remember this, The Lord rewards those who diligently seek Him. God Bless you and shalom!( means nothing broken nothing missing)

Deborah
 
Hey Everyone! Well, I made it to church today and I feel good. However, because I have a two year old who is VERY active, I didn’t get to hear any bit of the sermon, which was pretty frustrating. We sat in the cry room, but all of the other kids in there were really good, so we still felt uncomfortable about our son being loud. I’m hoping that maybe he was bad because he’s not used to church and maybe after a while he’ll realize how he has to act, but I hate feeling like I’m “ruining” other peoples experience at church because of my sons behavior. Thank you all for your prayers and advice, It’s so wonderful to have recieved such a warm welcome from you all when I came here in need of help. Thank you again. I’m just getting started and I know I still have a long way to go, but I am trying and I know that your prayers are helping me.
❤️
Angie
 
angie2305 said:
Hey Everyone! Well, I made it to church today and I feel good. However, because I have a two year old who is VERY active, I didn’t get to hear any bit of the sermon, which was pretty frustrating. We sat in the cry room, but all of the other kids in there were really good, so we still felt uncomfortable about our son being loud. I’m hoping that maybe he was bad because he’s not used to church and maybe after a while he’ll realize how he has to act, but I hate feeling like I’m “ruining” other peoples experience at church because of my sons behavior. Thank you all for your prayers and advice, It’s so wonderful to have recieved such a warm welcome from you all when I came here in need of help. Thank you again. I’m just getting started and I know I still have a long way to go, but I am trying and I know that your prayers are helping me.
❤️
Angie
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Angie, I am so happy for you. Don’t worry about not being able to fully participate, either because you have to take your son outside, or because you can’t hear in the cry room. Jesus knows you are there, and he knows the sacrifice parents with young children make to take them to mass and teach them their faith. He is just happy to see you again!

Try bringing things to occupy him, like religious books for kids, or a rosary, or a bible stories coloring book. I did this when my kids were toddlers and it helped alot. Unfortunately, sometimes that wasn’t enough and I spent alot of time outside, I even missed communion on occasion, but I always thought that God knew how hard it was for me and that He was happy that I was there.

My kids are older now so mass is much more enjoyable for me (maybe not for them-but they’ve learned to behaive properly at least). Hang in there. This too shall pass.
 
Hi Angie,
Just read your post. Glad you could make it to church! let me share some thoughts I have. First off the ministry, the greatest ministry of all is the ministry of motherhood! God knows your heart and knows that you desire to worship him. Tending to that precious little boy God has given you is also the greatest worship you can give God as well. For that little boy is His. and He has given you the task of raising him for HIM!! You will know when you have the best quiet time and just get alone with God! He will meet you where you are!
Im sure you are not ruining things for the others. Plus your sons behavior is normal for his age and he is NOT bad. His behavior may be testing but he is not bad. I would like to say that scripture tells us that" the power of life and death is in the tongue." Speak life into your little boys life. start thanking the Lord for calming him down and watch what happens. God will help you with him. On that note I will close. God Bless you Angie and I am praying for your progress in the Lord and your sons as well. Shalom!!!
 
angie2305 said:
Hey Everyone! Well, I made it to church today and I feel good. However, because I have a two year old who is VERY active, I didn’t get to hear any bit of the sermon, which was pretty frustrating. We sat in the cry room, but all of the other kids in there were really good, so we still felt uncomfortable about our son being loud. I’m hoping that maybe he was bad because he’s not used to church and maybe after a while he’ll realize how he has to act, but I hate feeling like I’m “ruining” other peoples experience at church because of my sons behavior. Thank you all for your prayers and advice, It’s so wonderful to have recieved such a warm welcome from you all when I came here in need of help. Thank you again. I’m just getting started and I know I still have a long way to go, but I am trying and I know that your prayers are helping me.
❤️
Angie
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Congratulations on making it to Church today. One word of advice - don’t let the “ruining other people’s church” get to you. That can become a major stumbling block to your regular Mass attendance. If you start to feel that way again - just dismiss it right away. First - the “cry room” is there for people just like you. In general - if all the other families in the “cry room” have perfectly well behaved children - they shouldn’t be in the “cry room” to begin with 🙂 . But that is besides the point. Just remember - if your children are acting up some - then you are using the “cry room” for its intended purpose!

Secondly - just remember that there are those pastors like mine who wanted to do away with the “cry room” permanently. He felt that ours was a congregation - and that the “cry room” unnecessarily separated people from each other. He WANTED all families together - in one area - not separated by a “cry room” - and he didn’t mind one bit if children were fussy in Mass. I always found that refreshing - and we had a large number of babies and toddlers at our parish - and for the most part they all behaved great - with only minor exceptions that to be honest - most people didn’t mind!!! Granted - if a child was screaming at the top of their lungs (yes - some of mine did that from time to time :o ) - that was the time to walk them out back - but in general those episodes were few and far between!!!

It gets better - each week it gets better - and a small plastic bag of Cheerios or coloring books like was already suggested makes things go great!!!

God Bless!!
 
Oops. Please remember that you need to fast an hour before you go to Mass, so its not appropriate to bring Cheerios nor other snacks for you nor your children. 🙂

Yes, Bible Story picture books, colouring books, and such quiet things are a good idea. Toys are never a good idea. I’ve seen too many instances of children bopping people’s heads with plushies or throwing toy cars around and trying to make them “whir” down the aisle, etc. :eek:
 
seremina said:
Oops. Please remember that you need to fast an hour before you go to Mass, so its not appropriate to bring Cheerios nor other snacks for you nor your children. 🙂
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Isn’t it alright for the children to have a small snack if they’re not of the age to recieve communion? The fast is about preparing ourselves for the Eucharist.
 
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